I’m taking a break from the history stuff today so that I can address a serious problem that still plagues us in these modern times: idiots.
We’ve all met them. Perhaps an idiot shoved you or cut you off this morning. Maybe you have an idiot co-worker who said something stupid today. It’s even possible that you’ll encounter an idiot tonight on your way home from work.
There are too many of them, they’re teeth-grindingly annoying, and they walk too slowly. At best, they’re like pesky gnats buzzing in your ear. At worst, they’re a pox on society.
You see, sometimes idiots are more than just a public nuisance—they’re a drain on our resources. You know the idiots I’m talking about. The nitwits who decide to go hiking in the mountains when there’s a blizzard alert. The mindless dolts who go for a boat ride or a swim when the surf is up and dark rain clouds loom menacingly on the horizon. The pea-brained yahoos who stand up when their roller coaster car gets to the top of the hill. I could go on, but I think you get the picture. An idiot does something stupid, and then someone else—local Search & Rescue, the Coast Guard, paramedics, lifeguards, whoever—cleans up the mess, sometimes at their risk of their own lives. And how about the leeches who file frivolous lawsuits? The courts have to go through the motions no matter how insane the cases are.
So what say we jack up the taxes of these idiots for egregious use of public services?
Then there are the idiots who cause delays and other inconveniences. Remember that dingbat who got on the bus the other day without having his fare ready and it took him forever to get his act together? How about the ditz in front of you at the ATM who took ages to complete a simple transaction and then used the area around the ATM as her personal counter space so she could organize her purse? Each situation in itself isn’t a big deal, but add them all up and they become a colossal time drain.
And this, dear readers, is why I think idiots should pay more taxes than the rest of us. Or they should at least be fined heavily for each offense. You want to do something foolhardy? Fine, as long as you pay for the privilege. You want to suck up everyone else’s time? No problem, just cough up the extra money so the rest of us don’t have to.
By the way, I’m aware that there are many inherent flaws in my plan. But in theory, the idea pleases me very much.
(I told you I was a cranky old broad.)