We had quite a turnout for the First Annual Weebles Poetry Slam last night. There were some extraordinary performances—this was truly spoken-word artistry at its best.
For those of you who couldn’t attend, I’m going to share a few of the poems that drew the most raves.
First, Ebenezer’s twist on the classic limerick was both mesmerizing and alarming:
There once was an old man named Smee
Who spent his whole life on the sea
But one tragic day
A shark came his way
And ate him
Lionel brought down the house with this stirring anthem, but the judges felt that his piece sampled too heavily from The Prodigy to qualify for a prize:
Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up
Scratch my itch up
Rip my stitch up
Flip my switch up
Burn my witch up
Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up
And Henrietta made the audience cry with her moving haiku:
I want to lie down
But I always pop back up
Those Hasbro fuckers
All in all it was a great evening, and next year will surely be even better!
Roses are red
Weebles are blue
I dig your rhymes
I will pass along your kind words to Ebenezer, Lionel and Henrietta
Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. Deliberately bad poetry is perhaps the most fun thing to write.
Here’s one for you:
Damian Hurst: The Poem
Is it art? Is it wank?
Or is it a shark in a tank?
Brilliant!! Bravo! And again, apologies for only getting to reply to this now. Apparently I suck at keeping track.
It’s no problem, I’m the same.
Boutros Boutros-Ghali: The Haiku:
If the truth be told,
I do not know who he is
But I like his name.