It’s Saturday night. I should be doing something exciting and fun. What am I doing instead? Sitting on the couch with my laptop in front of me, watching Law & Order: SVU reruns that I’ve seen 87 times already. Well, actually, alternating between L&O, the Yankee game (thanks for a stellar outing, Freddy Garcia), and whatever true crime story is on the ID channel (Mr. Weebles and I are addicted to that channel). It’s sad, isn’t it.
What’s even sadder is, I’m considering doing laundry right now. Yeah. Laundry. Which isn’t quite as pathetic as it sounds, only because Mr. Weebles and I are blessed by having our very own washer & dryer in our apartment. So I can do laundry whenever I want. Sometimes I leave it in the dryer all night just because I can. Just for funsies. It’s so decadent, after years of watching the dryer like a hawk to prevent some asshole from taking my clothes out of the dryer the millisecond after it stopped.
So yeah, this is Saturday night in the Weebles household. On the Lame Scale, it’s only a few steps above sitting quietly as I listen to my body age.
See, the thing is, most of the things people do on Saturday nights just don’t hold much interest for me. I used to enjoy going to movies until the ordeal of body slamming thousands of moviegoers to get to my seat became too annoying. I suppose movie theaters have always been really crowded, but I’m getting more irritable and more impatient as I get older (which doesn’t bode well for 65-year-old me—Mr. Weebles will probably have me committed).
Going out for dinner can be nice, but so many restaurants these days are ridiculously noisy and/or jam packed, and if you don’t plan ahead with a reservation, chances are you’re going to have to wait for a table unless you get there at 5:30pm. I refuse to eat that early—I’m not a retiree in Miami Beach.
I don’t know, what else is there? I’m pretty unimaginative when it comes to finding other things to do that don’t involve being in an über-loud, über-crowded environment. I’m not a wild gal. My idea of a nice time is going to a library or museum. (It’s true, that’s what I think is fun.) But where can a cranky person like me go to have fun in NYC on a Saturday night?
You might ask, why the hell do you live there if you find the crowds and the noise so annoying? Well, the answer is simple. For the most part, I find the crowds and the noise comforting. I grew up in NYC. City life suits me. The suburbs, with trees and cars and whatnot, are completely alien to me. And I’m not moving to another city. The only way I’ll leave is if someone drags away my cold dead corpse. Despite the fact that New York City is nowhere near as great as it used to be. Because believe me, it’s lost a lot of appeal over the past 10 years or so.
By the way, not that you asked, but I place the blame for NYC’s decline squarely on Mike Bloomberg’s shoulders. Giuliani did some damage but I think Bloomberg has committed the greater sin here. He’s turned this city into a bland suburban metropolis. And by sanitizing and gentrifying everything and turning it into the ultimate tourist mecca, he destroyed most of the soul that made this city great. And he and his developer friends have made it so expensive to live here that the demographics of the city are getting completely skewed. We probably have more rich, entitled, brainless brats per capita now than we ever have before. Everyone who could no longer afford Manhattan moved to the outer boroughs or Jersey, and now those areas are becoming prohibitively expensive too. Ordinary people can barely get by nowadays. That means that a lot of really cool, creative, interesting people can no longer afford to live around here. So without them, their small businesses, their talents, and their diversity, the city has lost its vibrance and “grit.” I fear for the future of my once-awesome hometown but part of me still has a perverse hope that things may get better someday.
Well, thanks for keeping me company tonight (even though it probably won’t still be Saturday night when you read this).
Meanwhile, I’ve decided to do laundry tomorrow instead.
And if anyone has any suggestions on things to do that don’t involve being among the unruly masses for extended periods of time, let me know.