The Scale of Funky

Madame Weebles —  May 12, 2012 — 39 Comments

Recently Mr. Weebles and I were watching some TV show where they were talking about Bootsy Collins, who had once been James Brown’s bass player. Mr. Weebles said, “Could there be anyone on earth funkier than James Brown’s bass player?” And I said, “No, I don’t think that’s possible.”

I mean, being a bass player automatically confers a certain amount of funkyness upon a person. But James Brown’s bass player? That’s crazy funky. And Collins was later in Parliament-Funkadelic, which had “funk” right there in the name, for crying out loud. How much more funky could someone be? To paraphrase Nigel Tufnel, the answer is none. None more funky.

That’s what gave me the idea for the Scale of Funky. If Bootsy Collins is at the top of the funky scale, then Justin Bieber is at the bottom—the opposite of funky. And every person and thing can be graded according to this scale.

I’ve created a rudimentary scale for now. It’s subjective, but only to a certain degree; there can be no debate over the non-funkyness of Bieber, Ryan Seacrest, Clay Aiken, or the minivan. Everything else is open for discussion.

39 responses to The Scale of Funky

  1. 

    Tee hee! As I was scanning down the line I thought now where’s Wayne Brady — hahahaha — and there he is!

  2. 

    The Embarrassing Stains were pretty funky, but unless you were drunk in a pub in Alvescot sometime in the late seventies you will have missed their epicness.

    Bootsy Collins would be the funkiest name even if he didn’t play bass for James Brown.

    I’m off to rate a few things now.

    Cheers!

    • 

      As you probably surmised, I did miss their epicness. But I will take your word for it. And I agree, Bootsy Collins is a funky name in itself, without any other qualifications.

  3. 

    I think I found someone who can give Bootsy Collins a run for his money.

  4. 

    Okay, for some reason it’s not working. Go to “Sweet Brown interview” on Youtube. You won’t be disappointed.

  5. 

    Lana and Wayne need to be ranked lower.
    Other than that, an excellent list, and I’m glad you didn;t include odors,because that’s a whole different scale of funky!

    • 

      You’re right, I gave them both too much credit, didn’t I.

      The odor type of funky scale would be pretty disgusting. Not to mention the fact that to do that sort of scale properly, you really need some sort of scratch & sniff monitor. So that won’t be happening.

  6. 

    Don Cornelis? Now THAT’S some ultra funky. Ditto on Prince. :).

  7. 

    This is perfect in every way and should be published in a world fact book. Love it!

    • 

      You flatter me. I’m going to put you at the top of the Scale of Funky. Anyone who wishes they could have been one of Tom Jones’s backup singers should be there anyway.

  8. 

    I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when you and Mr. Weebles had this discussion!

  9. 

    Where you placed the Obamas was spot-on – and the fact that Mitt Romney is so lacking in any degree of funkyness, he doesn’t even rate below the bottom of the list works for me.

  10. 

    All good Madame! Except that funky moms in minivans make minivans funkier. A funky chick from Queens can rock anything! I think Romney also gives Bieber a run for his money. Love the Weebles!

    • 

      You get special dispensation for being a funky chick from Queens, for sure. Thus, your minivan also gets special dispensation. But are you sure Romney is even funky enough to be on par with Bieber? ;)

  11. 

    All true but nothing’s sexier than the accordion.

  12. 

    With a name like Bootsy Collins you HAVE to be funky! Curtis Mayfield would definitely be up there in the funk meter. No denying Superfly!

  13. 

    Okay, now you’re just getting greedy.

  14. 

    Seal has to be at the top (well, his more uptempo numbers anyway) and Bert Weedon at the bottom.

  15. 

    That’s Bert Weedon killing a song that should have died anyway! ;)

  16. 

    This is a fantastic list! As a comic book nerd, I can agree that Captain America is not funky, but neither is Iron Man. I also think Wayne Brady is a little funkier than he’s given credit for.

    • 

      You don’t think Iron Man is funky? I think he’s pretty funky. Or maybe it’s just Robert Downey Jr. playing him that makes him funky in my view. I never read the actual comics. Superheroes in general aren’t that funky, really. It’s too bad.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. I can’t think of a title for this blog post because it really just consists a lot of random, disparate brain droppings and there’s no real theme here to tie it all together and bring it on home | Fear No Weebles - July 12, 2012

    [...] Funky Scale I’m pissed that I forgot to add Kingsley Shacklebolt to my original Scale of Funky. Mr. Weebles and I were watching one of the Harry Potter movies when we realized that we should [...]

Testify!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s