This was inspired by Mooselicker, who mentioned both Dr. Seuss and Abraham Lincoln in a comment on my last post. It gave me the idea to rework the Gettysburg Address as a Dr. Seuss poem. I like to think Lincoln would have appreciated it. And the message is just as relevant today as it was in 1863.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
T’was eighty and seven years past, so they say
That our founders created the US of A
With all of us equal! The Wuggles! The Fuzzins!
And even our naughty Confederate cousins!
Now there’s a war and it’s bad and it’s sad
But a time will soon come when we’ll all be quite glad
That our nation still stands and our country’s still here
And we’ll all drink a toast with a mug of Sneetch beer
These bravest of soldiers did not die for naught
We need a do-over to do what we ought
So let’s have no more of this Civil War folly
And remember our government’s purpose, by golly
Of people! By people! For people! Yes!
But right now this country’s one heckuva mess
I want for this country a sort of rebirth
So all these nice freedoms don’t perish from Earth.
I am the Lorax and I speak for the fans
You’re clever and funny as shit.
And to think I saw it on Fear No Weebles.
Nice Mulberry Street callback there, babe.
Loud applause and wolf whistles! Dr. Seuss would be proud as would honest Abe. Thanks! – Cathy
I think Abe and the Doc would have enjoyed it. Thanks!
So true! Woohoo!
Pretty brilliant !
Sweet Mother!! What a wonderful treat to have you here!!!
Madame Weebles, Abe and Suess have spoken to the peoples from on high. So Happy Fourth full of mirth and rockets in the sky! Now its time to celebrate and grab some apple pie.
A lovely July 4th ode, Merlin—thanks!!
Twelve Sneetch beers already, they make me feel fine
And help me write verses that perfectly rhyme
Happy fourth… to all south of the border!
Thanks, and drive safely, sybaritica!
Thank you Mme. Weebles — this was Zeustabulous! Enjoy the day!
I hope yours has been a good one Sandee!
This is great! Happy 4th.
Happy 4th to you as well, B! I hope you’ve had a good day.
This poem, it rocks in its couplet-y verse
The rhymes are just right – not to long or to terse.
Nope, I got nuthin. You’ve said it all perfectly above.
Happy Independence Day, Madame.
Your couplet is nothing to sneeze at either, Guap. But it doesn’t hold a candle to your Harry Potter limericks. Happy 4th to you!
Ha! I would very much like for you to set about Seuss-ifying the bible. Would you mind terribly?
Sure, no problem, just give me a few weeks and I’ll have it all done.
I wish he has used your version instead of his. It’s really good AND would be easier for middle school kids to memorize.
Right? So much simpler. To be fair, Abe’s speech is pretty short in itself, but it doesn’t rhyme. He should have taken the time to rhyme it out.
It would be hard to add to your beautiful verse,
and to try such a thing would be unduly perverse.
However, nerd that I am thrilled to see
your evident knowledge of our history,
and if I could find anything to rhyme with ‘Constitution’
I’d say it was clever of you to start with the ratification of the Constitution.
I’m a history nerd too, Smak. History major in college, history grad school, the whole works. All that schooling, but all it proves is that everything I needed to know I learned from Dr. Seuss.
You are a wonder Madame Weebles!!
Oh bless you.
Very clever! I like it!
Thanks, Sweet Spot, it’s good to see you here!
You did the Dr. mighty proud with this. I’m such a patriotic fool that any expression of love for our country really moves me, this was no exception. Well done, Madame, well done.
Also… nice shout out for our irreverent and rambling friend, Mooselicker.
Aww, thanks, Grippy. Abe did most of the heavy lifting in his original speech—if you’ve never read it, click on the link in my post, it’s a beauty. To me it’s one of the most beautiful speeches ever written. And Mooselicker earned this shoutout—if it hadn’t been for him I never would have thought of this.
Bravo!
*curtsying*
Madame Weebles,
Way to outshine me, fucktard… Magnificent you are. Fuck.
Le Clown
Your unremitting bitterness is but one of your many fine features!
And yet he still manages to be charming even when he’s being outshined.
What can I tell you, Le Clown…I’m American.
Suesser I never was but this whimsy is pretty cool. America history teacher was I 33 years on the fly.
Thanks Carl!
Very inspired verse M. Weebles! Now I’m going to pound some Sneetch beer.
Make sure it’s the Sneetch beer can with Stars Upon Thars, LA!
Great job! Dr. Seuss & Abe Lincoln: always relevant! Hope you had a great day! ;0
Thanks, Margarita—I hope you did too!
Yes, thanks, had a wonderful day full of unexpected treats and food for thought…less calories than food! xoM
Excellent—sounds great!
Oh, the thinks you do think, Madame!
Nikki
I like to think Dr. Seuss would have approved, Nikki!
NICE!
A tip of my red and white striped hat to you, Madame!
Thank you sir! I’m going to treat myself to some green eggs and ham now.
We see them come.
We see them go.
Some are fast.
And some are slow.
Some are high.
And some are low.
But none of them are as good as Madame Weebles, who is bloody brilliant.
Hope you had a great 4th
Cheers!
I’m giving you my best curtsy right now, Nigel. Also, nice Seussian verse of your own there—I like the surprise ending.
It was from one of his little known, long lost works. Remarkable how he had the foresight to mention you.
Incredible – I stand in awe and shock and wonder and awe. And wonder.
Glad to see a nod to us naughty Confederate cousins. Yes ma’am!
Shouldn’t there be something in there about Red Fish, Blue Fish? Ah well, maybe another holiday….
Thankee ma’am, I’m much obliged. I would have put One Fish Two Fish, Red Fish Blue Fish in there except that old Abe didn’t make a long enough speech to throw in some additional Seuss references. Next time, though!
I have officially read your version more than I have the original. Great job! I could never put together something like this. I feel like a proud parent right now.
I owe it all to you, buddy. I’ll make sure you get a cut of the royalties from this, I promise.
That is amazing! I wish I could do that. Alas, I’ve always been crap at poetry. Which is why I write about travel.
If it’s any consolation, Mo, I’d be crap at writing about travel, and you are NOT crap at that at all.
Such a talent. I’m so glad I visted your blog. Dr. Seuss would be proud, I’m sure.
I’m so happy you’re here, Szabo, welcome! And thanks!
Outstanding! Was any alcohol involved during the writing?
Strangely enough, Frank, I was stone cold sober for this!
Not sure which is more fitting:
or 
Wow! Loved it!
I’m so glad you did–thank you!
i did a stage announcement Seuss-style before our local theatre performed Seussical. nothing even close to this, my dear.
now, about me having your babies? we need to get on that… (and not just because my eggs are dessicating as i sit here and type this).
I heart you, daisyfae. Nobody has ever offered to have my babies before. What say you and I discuss this further over some cocktails…
M. Weebles is funny–and say! Can she write!
That’s why we all visit and follow her site.
Now thanks to her brilliance we read, the first time,
American history done in Seuss rhyme.
You’re fantastic.
That rhyme was pretty fantastic too, Robin. Big props to you for that one!
Glad you liked it, Weebles!