I wish I had created this cartoon

Madame Weebles —  December 12, 2012 — 124 Comments

I’ve had this cartoon for more than 20 years. Way before The Oatmeal, way before xkcd.com. I have no idea where it came from, but it’s a masterpiece.

Stab

It speaks to me on a profoundly deep and meaningful level.

Stay tuned… the next post will be a thrilling account of my evening with Joe, Calahan, and Darla.

124 responses to I wish I had created this cartoon

  1. 

    Absolutely a simple misunderstanding! Meanwhile, bring on the next post.

  2. 

    bwahahahhahahaha…uh oh that cartoon let some evil out. very funny.

  3. 

    You’re such a romantic.

  4. 

    Nice! I usually don’t wait for them to start talking.
    I just figure they were going to ask for that anyway…

  5. 

    Moral: Spend $30 and get a cheap watch.

  6. 

    You had an analogue meeting?

  7. 

    Man to wife as they sit at the dining table:

    “You’ve ruined my life you blood-sucking shrew … Oh, I’m sorry. I meant, would you please pass the salt.”

    BTW. Love the Oatmeal :)

  8. 

    Yeah…I see what you mean….

  9. 

    I hope you’re not holding an umbrella during our outing to watch all the women you flip off magically gain ten pounds. I feel a Kevlar Christmas present coming on…..

  10. 

    The first time I saw that on your fridge I knew I had better be on my toes around you.

    And not just because you might stab me repeatedly because of a simple misunderstanding. Because you’re so damn funny.

  11. 

    Hilarious and disturbing on so many levels. Yet another insight into your sense of humor and mine. Many years ago, a dear friend said: “Humor is one of the highest forms of intelligence.” Thanks for making me laugh, Weebs.

  12. 

    That is so funny, but I’m a little worried about you. Have you considered anger management?

    • 

      You know, it’s funny that you should mention this, Robin. Someone suggested that I go to anger management. I went to one meeting, but they only had decaf coffee and IT REALLY PISSED ME OFF. So I didn’t go back.

  13. 

    That cartoon really speaks to me! The message is crystal-clear and I will model my life on that message!

  14. 

    I could so relate to this cartoon. I get stabby all the time.

  15. 

    What’s the misunderstanding? Isn’t that what you do to people without a watch?

  16. 

    He kept a smile throughout the killing. That’s all you can really ask for.

    I know a comedian whose first joke every time I saw him, probably for the last 25 years even, was “Quick impression of a New Yorker asking for privacy….HELP!!!!” Then he stands there and it takes a little time to sink in how sad yet true that statement is.

    • 

      Service with a smile, that’s the way to go. As for the yelling “HELP!” thing, well, hey, we’re just respecting the need for space in this crowded city. It’s important to honor someone’s right to be murdered without interference.

  17. 

    Stab first, before questions are answered.

  18. 

    If I had known stick figures were acceptable in cartoons, I could have been a cartoonist.

  19. 

    This explains where so many of my social interactions have gone wrong. Oh well; everyone can use a good umbrella stabbing now and again.

  20. 

    Hahaha … love it! It’s the simple questions that will get you killed.

    • 

      It is, Maddie. To be fair, I don’t mind if someone asks me the time. But I DO mind if someone says, “Excuse me, what street is this?” when they could look UP and check out the sign for themselves! Bah.

  21. 

    oops sorry, I’m hard of hearing…
    Looking forward to the next post.

  22. 

    Love that comic. Totally fits the way I interact with the world (at least the way I do it in my head. Okay so not stabbing with an umbrella but there is certainly plenty of gratuitous eyeball-gouging.)

    Don’t hate me or put the hex on me my fair Madame, but I have nominated you for a Beautiful Blogger Award. Your “Fuck You” rants are just too damn good. ;)

    http://wp.me/p2pNxP-aU

    • 

      I wonder how many people you and I have gratuitously gouged in the eyes, nekkid. We’ve probably blinded a LOT of people by now. High five! And thank you so much for the award—I’m due for another good Fuck You rant soon, so thanks for the reminder!

      • 

        LOL I bet if we wanted Madame, we could host our own weekend retreat on the Art of Eyeball Gouging. I’ll bring the bacon rolls! ;)

        I think I’m over due for a Fuck You rant too…

  23. 

    I thought you had thought up that cartoon!!! No matter how many times I see it, it makes me fall on the floor laughing. Also makes me think of you.

    • 

      Noooo, I’m not clever enough to have thought that up. I’m not even sure where I found it, it was one of those cartoons that got photocopied a million times at work and I loved it immediately.

  24. 

    I’m wearing a watch from now on.
    Looking forward to tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow!

  25. 

    Po-tay-to; Po-tahto… It’s just semantics, really.

  26. 

    That is genius, this is my perfect humour, I love it.

    I will have to go on a mission to discover its origins, it has set the bar and got there long before other stick cartoons if it’s 20 years old.

  27. 

    I understand this. Only for me it would be sitting at a business luncheon table of 8-10 people who are strangers and the unknown person next to me stabs me with their fork when I only wanted to shake hands and say hello.

  28. 

    Good one, Weebs! You can’t trust a smiling guy with an umbrella.

  29. 

    I love this too, Weebles. Umbrellas can be so hazardous.

  30. 

    I needed this today. Thanks.

  31. 

    Madame Weebles,

    This is precisely why I have knelt at your Alter and prayed for admittance into your circle.

    “if I can’t have you….I don’t want nobody baby”

    RR

  32. 

    I am surprised that you didn’t create it! ;-) Love it.

    • 

      Man, I wish I had. Isn’t it the best? And 20 years ago, you didn’t see stuff like this. I saved the photocopy all this time. It’s in such ratty shape now that after I scanned it I had to clean it up a little. Important documents require proper preservation, you know.

  33. 

    create it? why look backward, look forward. You can turn that pos outdated black/white image to full vibrant 1080p color :) If you really want to impress, maybe redo it so you need to wear one of those goofy 3d glasses and have the whole stabbing animation with blood and gore everywhere. Forward thinking and make it your own, right? lol

  34. 

    I did not know of The Parking Lot Is Full, but thanks to you, I do now, and have been enjoying it immensely!

  35. 

    Note to self—never ask Madame W what time it is!

  36. 

    Yes… I can feel the pain subsiding already. Thanks Weebs.

  37. 

    Shopping List:
    Prozac
    Miracle Ear
    Spare Umbrella
    Resolve Stain Remover

  38. 

    Clearly it was his tone that caused the misunderstanding. You have to be so careful about tone, at least that’s what someone on Facebook told me this morning.

    • 

      It’s so hard to know how to interpret tone sometimes, artsi. It’s so subjective. One person might think they’re using a pleasant, benign tone to ask for the time, while the other person might take it as an invitation to stab someone with an umbrella. Such a delicate balance you have to strike.

  39. 

    ha ha — I am wordier than meizac

  40. 

    Love it. :-)

  41. 

    Excellent snark from back in the day Weebles! You may not have created it, but you are The One that’s keeping it alive. If only who did create it knew that, that would probably blow what’s left of his or her’s mind.

  42. 

    The reason this comic is so good is because we’ve all been that guy stabbed with the umbrella before. Classic mistake.

  43. 

    “You can stand under my umbrella
    (Ella ella, ay ay ay)”

    As long as you bring your watch and don’t mind the occasional violent blood spatter.

    That’s gotta be the pointiest umbrella (ella ella) eva. Too funny.

  44. 

    This perfectly describes an ex and I.

    Me: Please be nice to me.

    Him: Gonna treat you like shit!

  45. 

    I think he missed a spot.

  46. 

    lmao – that cartoon is so deliciously sick!

  47. 

    Would anyone else like to see The Umbrellas of Cherbourg remade by Quentin Tarantino?

  48. 

    That is one hell of a misunderstanding!

  49. 

    I’ve seen a few variations of this cartoon, but it is a good one.

  50. 

    There is no time for the wicked :) lol xxx

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