These are a few of my favorite things…

Madame Weebles —  June 28, 2013 — 210 Comments

Sorry, no raindrops on roses in this joint (but plenty of whiskers on kittens, thanks to the three Weeblettes).

I was looking around my house the other day and I thought, You have a lot of really weird shit, Weebs.

It’s true, I have a lot of really weird shit. Eclectic, you might say. A lot of strange objects that I’m rather fond of. Let’s take a tour, I’ll show you around.

First, we’ll visit the infirmary to see my beloved collection of smallpox-related antiques. I’ve been obsessed with smallpox for years. In fact, my doctoral dissertation (which I didn’t finish, otherwise I’d be Doctor Weebles) was on smallpox inoculations in 18th-century America. There are many mighty diseases that have plagued humanity for centuries: tuberculosis, bubonic plague, yellow fever, etc, but I find smallpox the most compelling. As pathogens go, this one is brutal as fuck. Kill rates during epidemics ranged from 30% to 50%. In many parts of the world, children weren’t even considered official members of the family until they had contracted and survived smallpox. That’s some sick shit, yo. And smallpox is the only disease to be completely eradicated (although polio is on its way to extinction as well). It exists only in the labs now (and hopefully will not return in weaponized format, or any other format).

Clockwise from top left: 20th-century smallpox vaccine vials, 19th-century fleams, 19th-century scarificator, 19th-century ivory folding lancet, 18th-century scalpel.

In case you’re wondering how lancets, fleams, and scalpels treated smallpox, these little beauties were used to create wounds through which the smallpox matter (or cowpox matter, later on) was introduced. The scarificator is a neat little device with several small blades on the bottom to create multiple wounds at once. All of these tools were used for bloodletting as well. It was thought that many illnesses were caused by an overabundance of blood, so doctors would bleed patients to drain the “excess.” Shockingly, this charming practice hurt many more people than it helped.

Let’s move on to the Teeny Tiny Chamber of Horrors. Please note that Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy are here only for scale, not for punishment. They learned their lesson after last time.

This is my guillotine. There are others like it but this one is mine.

Raggedy Andy now knows the penalty for geting fresh with Raggedy Ann...

Raggedy Andy now knows the penalty for getting fresh with Raggedy Ann…

We’re going to make a right turn here, onto Sesame Street:

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One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Six Count von Count items! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Aside from Oscar the Grouch, The Count is my favorite Sesame Street character. What better way to honor him than to build a shrine that includes toys made in his likeness? Please take a moment for quiet reflection here if you like.

Around the corner from Sesame Street is the Museum of Wacky Old Items. These objects are late 18th century to early 19th century.

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From top to bottom: Folding knife, bullet probe, blistering iron.

The folding knife, called a “penny knife” because that’s how much it cost, is the kind carried by soldiers during the American Revolution. This one is in pretty good shape but who knows, maybe it was used by a smokin’ hot guy in the Continental Army. It titillates me to contemplate this. The bullet probe determined the depth of a bullet wound. Fat load of good it did, though; it was a lot more common to die from nasty, infected bullet wounds than to be killed outright by bullets. The blistering iron did exactly what you’d expect: you held it over a fire to get it nice and hot, then seared the skin with it to cause a blister. You know that philosophy behind bloodletting? Yeah, well, blistering was another method of relieving people of the bad “humors” that caused disease. In theory, the blister would draw all the ick (that’s the official medical term for it, by the way) from the person, and when the blister drained, presto, disease all gone. But guess what? Yup. Didn’t work. In fact, you know who died after being severely weakened by copious bloodletting and blistering? George Washington. Poor bastard was already very sick, and the “medical” treatment finished him off.

And finally, let’s visit the farm and say hello to my stuffed animals. Not the taxidermy kind, either. I know, I know, you’re thinking, “Weebs has stuffed animals???” Yes. Yes I do. Allow me to introduce you to some of my plush friends:

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Ham and Peas. Yes, those are the peas from Toy Story 3, how kind of you to notice.

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Top left to right: Whaley and Squeezy Shark. Bottom left to right: Owlie, Legs, and Narwally. What? I didn’t say I was good at naming them.

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The cuddliest breakfast ever: Toast, Coffee, and Pancakes. If only I could find a real mug of coffee this big.

Mr. Weebles is concerned about my penchant for buying giant stuffed toys because they take up a lot of space. I tell him I can stop anytime I want to. (I just don’t want to.)

And this concludes our tour for today. Thank you for joining me, I hope you’ve all enjoyed it as much as I have. Please be sure to gather all your belongings, watch your step as you disembark, and get home safely.

210 responses to These are a few of my favorite things…

  1. 

    That is a collection that any museum would be proud of! You should consider charging for guided tours because you clearly have the knowledge and the banter to accompany the goods, in fact I feel I should probably send you some cash myself right now, just for having had the privilege of this online glimpse into ancient and modern history, also known as Madame Weebles home. I was amused about one of your cuddly toys being named Legs because my daughter used to name all her dolls and cuddly toys after body parts when she was small, her favourite doll was named Feet, and other toys were named Ears, and Nose, and Finger, etc; I expect there is some disturbing psychological reason for that behaviour in her, but I thought it best not to investigate…

  2. 

    Why do diseases kill off their host and, thus, themselves, Dr. Weebs? Are they depressed and suicidal? The weaponized thing is a pretty dark thought. No way that could happen. Right?

    I didn’t realize those tools had medicinal purposes. I thought they were marital aids. Snap.

    The dyslexic in me misread “bullet probe” as, of course, “butt probe.” Calling Dr. Freud.

  3. 

    A wonderful and eclectic collection – if I were to choose I think the smallpox wins over the noose. By a short head.

  4. 

    Leo: Greets Weebs! ’bout fucking time you put something out for us to read. This post is mediocre. Congrats. Can I play with your toys?

    Dave: Sorry! Leo gets my keyboard sometimes and you know how cats are. I liked this blog very much!

    • 

      I understand, Dave. Cats are so domineering sometimes. Not to mention easily bored. Tell Leo he can play with the toys, as long as he means the soft cuddly toys and not the pointy ones…

  5. 

    Oh, poor Georgie, to be probed and blistered to death. Good god. (still, sounds like most of my medical experiences giving childbirth)

    I love how you can manage to pull off a post with a guillotine and the peas from Toy Story (I want that stuffed coffee mug) Can I borrow your guillotine? y’know….so my daughter’s 150 My Little Ponies can have an unfortunate “accident”.

  6. 

    Fun with a purpose, Madame, your house is the funnest house on the block! As always, educational and entertaining. So glad all of those misguided ideas of the past have been abandoned…or have they? A most excellent way to end this freakin’ week. The ham and peas are my fave!!

    • 

      Well, they still use leeches…although leeches can be genuinely helpful, at least. Aren’t those ham and peas fun??????? I can’t look at those little peas without smiling. It’s impossible.

  7. 

    I’m coming over with some turkey and box wine so I can play with your toys whilst you dine and drink.

    love,
    Julia

  8. 

    Awesome collection — I too may dabble in an adorable stuffed marine mammal, although they generally live in my closet except for those days when I really need a friend who is into silent, inanimate cuddling — but I’ve got a burning question.

    Where is the infirmary displayed? Is it out? Is it tucked away in a drawer? Are there interpretive signs explaining what the items are and how fascinating small pox are? If there ever was a use for an almost-finished dissertation, that’s it. Just print out sentences from your masterpiece, glue stick them onto some cardboard, and affix them to the display. How’s that for using knowledge you gained in kindergarden and grad school together!

    • 

      The infirmary IS on display, on my bookshelves! But I really love your idea for the interpretive signage. I have crayons so I can draw some illustrations of how these tools would have been used, and then I can glue stick everything onto cardboard. Genius!

  9. 

    I think a good bleeding might cure Justin Bieber.

  10. 

    Weebles, I have not seen many posts like this one. I see the Clown fellow has ordered a guillotine, but he is Quebecois and thus he is familiar with such implements. I myself will wear armour if I ever choose to visit you, to prevent any random bloodlettings. I also note above a comment that notes your post as being “mediocre”. Sheesh, where do they get such people?

    • 

      Lewin, it’s always somewhat pleasing to see you here. My vow to you is that I will refrain from using any pointy objects in your vicinity should you ever choose to visit. In fairness to the above poster, that comment was from the cat, and you know how difficult they are to impress.

  11. 

    It looks like your entire house is a Wonky Drawer of Stuff. Aside: Do you suppose in the future, homeowners will proudly displaying their antique oddities and going, “And this is my Shake Weight…”

    • 

      You know, Ross, you’re right, it IS a Wonky House of Stuff. As for people proudly showing off their antique Shake Weights in the future, well, we can but hope… The Shake Weight would probably be right next to the Epi-lady and the vacuum hair cutter in the display case.

  12. 

    Interesting collection. I hope the NSA isn’t monitoring this.

  13. 

    Now I really want to come visit you. Very interesting collection, and my daughter shares your love for the Count. She counts everything, and does his laugh when she’s finished. Ahh, ha, ha!

    • 

      I used to work for a guy who laughed just like the Count. It killed me. One day I said, “Hey, can you count to three out loud for me?” He thought I was out of my mind.

      If you come and visit, your daughter is welcome to play with my Count toys. And we’ll count together. AH! AH! AH!

  14. 

    Doesn’t everybody have their own smallpox tools?

  15. 

    I loved the stuffed stuff, Madame Weebles. I’m taken with stuffed things. I have a large number of stuffed things myself. My favorite is a stuffed dolphin. My dog Ralphy’s favorite is a stuffed elephant that is as big as he is. The rest of your collection is very interesting. All those blood-letting tools and miniature guillotines and such. Very nice.

    • 

      Stuffed dolphin! I have a stuffed dolphin too but he isn’t as enormous as the fellas in the photos here. I also have a stuffed manatee and a stuffed sting ray and a stuffed seal. This is what happens when I go to Sea World. I would enjoy seeing a photo of Ralphy with his toy elephant.

  16. 

    Fascinating, Weebs! All of it, but especially the smallpox vaccination artifacts. I read something recently, might have even been in “Team of Rivals” about the fact that “Doctors” were vaccinating for smallpox centuries ago. And while, I’m sure they were using live viruses, those practices weren’t that much different than the smallpox vaccination I got as a kid. I still have a small scar on my left upper arm.

    And polio? Yes, Peter is a member of Rotary International which is working with other organizations to help vaccinate children and eradicate it in the few remaining places in the world where it exists – Pakistan and a couple of areas in Africa.

    And I love the stuffed food toys! Wonderfully weird!

    • 

      Right on, Peter! Give him a hug for me. Yes, vaccination–or rather, inoculation with the live virus, was practiced for ages way before “physicians” got their hands on it. I have my smallpox vaccination mark on my leg, instead of my arm. During warm weather when people are wearing arm-baring shirts, I automatically gravitate to the upper arm to see if they have vaccination scars. But since compulsory vaccination ended in 1972, a fair number of people now are scar-free.

      I love my stuffed food toys, I only wish there were more!

  17. 

    Educational and hilarious! Do you plan to knock Sarah Vowell off of her perch? Because I think the world could benefit from a new witty historian.

    Also I find it wonderful that you followed up a collection of bloodletting tools with Count Von Count, Sesame Street’s only vampire. Well done!

    • 

      I really do have to sit and do some serious thinking about ousting Sarah Vowell. She doesn’t even have any history degrees, for fuck’s sake. Also, I didn’t even realize that I juxtaposed the bloodletting tools with the Count. What a happy coincidence!

      • 

        Please do give it some serious thought. A history book written in your unique voice would sell like crazy.

      • 

        I think the world is big enough for you and Sarah Vowell. But, I mean, you know best. I’m not going to argue with someone who owns her own guillotine and bloodletting / blistering tools.

        • 

          True, there’s probably enough room for both of us. Sarah Vowell doesn’t strike me as the evil sort who would monopolize the planet and keep it for herself. But if she is, at least I can say “I’ll cut you” and have the tools to back it up.

  18. 

    Love your collection of antique medical devices, I can tell you not much has changed I’ll have to send you a snapshot from the O.R. And yes doctors are still killing people out of stupidity. But I have to ask why Small Pox for your dissertation?
    I don’t know if you’ve heard of Giant microbes plush toys but they make stuffed animals in the shape of infectious microorganisms, (think cute meets contagious) I get the feeling they might fit in well with your collection.

    • 

      I bet there are a lot of O.R. tools that look eerily similar to these, Jean. As for my dissertation topic, I just find the story of smallpox fascinating. It’s the only disease that has an END, for starters. And one of the first genuine public health efforts in the US (well, the colonies, really, since it was 1721) was to prevent deaths during epidemics from smallpox by systematic inoculations. George Washington ordered the inoculation of the entire Continental Army after an epidemic in Quebec decimated the troops early in the war. I just dig that stuff.

      And yes, I know Giant Microbes!! I have a bunch of them–ebola, malaria, plague, flu, TB, polio, and a bunch of others that I can’t think of off the topic of my head. They don’t have smallpox, though, and that makes me sad.

  19. 

    I think Raggedy Andy is just pretending to be scared.
    Seriously, where are you going to fit a noose? He has no neck.

    Riddle me that, Almost-Doctor Weebles!

    • 

      Shit. I didn’t think of that. See, this is why I’m only ALMOST-Doctor Weebles. I guess I’ll have to find an alternate method for him. Drowning won’t work because those little fuckers float. Looks like I’ll have to get a teeny tiny firing squad.

  20. 

    You’re weird. It’s one of your most stellar qualities.

  21. 

    Epic collections. I love the breakfast stuffed animals. I would totally set up epic battles between the stuffed animals using all your weapons.

  22. 

    Weebs. I don’t have a bullet probe in my pocket! Count von Count, stuffed toast, and bloodletting supplies: amazing! My admiration for you grows by each additional guillotine.

  23. 

    It fascinates me how we can look back on what was once considered medical treatment (blood letting, etc.), to see how far we’ve come. Can’t wait until we can look back on things like traditional surgery and things like chemo and radiation, and realize how barbaric they are, compared to the healing methods we’ll be using in the next few hundred years.

  24. 

    This is fascinating stuff! But what fascinates me the most is the question…are the Weeblettes a band?

  25. 

    That collection is awesome. Especially the Count items. As for the hot irons, knives and other shit, it’s scary that you own those. Where’s your “15th Century Guide to Witch Burnings” ? Seriously. I’m looking for one…

    • 

      I do have a copy of the Guide to Witch Burning, actually—it’s a pop-up book, for easier understanding. Because you don’t want to screw up when burning a witch. They hold grudges, you know.

  26. 

    We’ve all learned a lot here today. It has been titillating.

  27. 

    I LOVE TOAST! And envy the old-timey medical tools. The stuff horror movies are made of.

    • 

      Isn’t he cute? I had to buy him because TOAST. Same thing with the coffee. I’m not as big a fan of pancakes but I couldn’t resist, they were too cute. The medical tools are fun—and you just never know when they’ll come in handy.

  28. 

    I love your stuff – I have the Oscar the Grouch version of your Count coffee cup! Is your embossed or it might be bas relief (raised)?

  29. 

    La guillotine est magnifique (sans TM, fucker). Je le t’envoie.

  30. 

    Love the Count!!! And your little Weebs are brave to face the guillotine (that’s a difficult word to spell) even though they weren’t active participants of your display. The bullet probe got to me, I must say as did the small pox related accoutrement. I had tons of stuffed animals when I left home at 18, Weebs. Sadly they didn’t fare well during my travels. Love your eclectic collection.

    • 

      They’re brave, those little Weebles. I’m so proud of them. I’m sorry your stuffed animals didn’t age well, maybe it’s time to get yourself a whole new crop, B! :D

  31. 

    Good stuff … for some reason I think you would enjoy this spot on a trip to Italy. http://www.frommers.com/destinations/sangimignano/A30445.html

  32. 

    You make my collection of Tigger from Pooh look mild. :-) Although I have a fondness for vintage cameras, milk glass, pottery, glassware, & coffee mugs.

    • 

      Talk to me, girlfriend. You had me at vintage cameras and milk glass. I don’t collect either one but I find them both interesting. But I also like old pottery and glassware. I collect old bottles, tea cups and stuff like that—for some reason I’ve never acquired any milk glass pieces, but perhaps that will be next…

      • 

        I lost two vintage cameras when my mother’s basement got damp & someone tossed them, an old 35 mm point & shoot from the 60s that took the square flash bulbs & another 110 about as old. :-( I still have the old poliroid where you had to develop it your self.

        I have old bottles up the wazoo. I love old kitchen things but I don’t have any. I should use your post as insperation for on of my own & link back. Maybe this weekend. :-)

        • 

          Oh, I remember those old square bulbs. And the old Polaroids. I’m getting all nostalgic now. I don’t have any old kitchen stuff either, except for a 1950s GE electric percolator, which is still in perfect working order. I named her Betty Lou. I would love to see your post on this topic, I hope you do one soon!

  33. 

    Wow, you have some really cool (and some slightly disconcerting) stuff! Thanks for the medical history lesson too. Yup dark ages medicine sure was something, real geniuses they were! Great at killing and torturing people in new and creative ways, not so much for healing them.

    Love your plushies, the toast nearly made me squee like a piglet…nearly.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Rohan.

    • 

      Hello there, Rohan, it’s so nice to see you here! Medicine was pretty creepy back then, although one could argue that medicine is STILL somewhat creepy… And don’t you just love the toast??? I love how he and the pancakes have their own little pats of butter. Also, if you HAD squeed like a piglet, I wouldn’t have judged you. You’re only human.

      • 

        One could definitely argue! I’m happy about paramedics and life saving surgery, but a lot of the psychiatric side of the things in particular is very creepy indeed!

        I know, the butter really makes it lol! Amazing touch :)

        Rohan.

  34. 

    Everyone needs a good fleam. Wait, what’s a fleam for? Do I need one? I love all your weird shit. I hope to visit this den of wonders some day for a good fleaming.

  35. 

    Ok I laughed right out loud (and my co-workers think I’m bonkers) at “Squeezy Shark”. I love your plushies! My kid has a plushie shark to he calls “Bigger Boat”. There is a great story behind that name…it made me laugh.
    This post reminds me of when I dumped out the contents of my purse just to see exactly what the heck was in it! There was some really random shit in there to: http://claudiabette.wordpress.com/2013/04/04/things-found-in-my-purse/

    • 

      It’s not the most clever name, I admit it. But Bigger Boat? I would love to hear that story. I love the contents of your purse—you crammed a LOT of stuff in there. My purse is not nearly as jam packed. Probably because all of my junk is scattered all over my house.

      • 

        I love Squeezy Shark! It’s perfect because he’s a shark you actually WANT to squeeze!

        So, Bigger Boat. Ok, so my parents took my kid to Universal Studios here in Hollywood back in March and they were on the tram ride and they showed a clip from the 1st Jaws movie, and the clip was when he says “We’re gonna need a……bigger boat!”

        On the way out, my mom bought The Boy a plushie shark and it was so named Bigger Boat. My kid is pretty awesome huh?! LOL

  36. 

    Oooooo – I love this. I have a bit of eclectic decor myself – I call it decor, my family calls it junk. Your stuffed toast reminds me of my toaster clock that pops up a piece of foam toast every morning, now who doesn’t need one of those :)

  37. 

    Weapons of torture juxtaposed with cuddly things. Your personality is inextricably linked to your possessions. This doesn’t look like the decor of a Pinterest home, and I love it

    • 

      Aww, aren’t you sweet! You know what, I’m now tempted to open up a Pinterest account to pin all kinds of really fucked-up, twisted stuff.

      • 

        I’m not sure that would be welcome on Pinterest, from my initial observations if you haven’t used a mason jar in some other creative way then you don’t make the cut. I am pretty hooked on it, and I don’t know why, I’ve already copied many people’s organisation tips satisfying the inner OCD. And before I chuck anything out now I think, what can I upscale this toilet roll tube into. People obssesively organising their homes or make art from paper doilies is probably the only thing stopping them hitting the vodka and forgetting to pick up their kids from school.

  38. 

    I always knew you were awesome, your “collections” just prove it. I’m jealous of your guillotine.

    • 

      Such a nice thing to say! My only regret about the guillotine is that it isn’t life sized. I know a few people I’d invite over to check it out…

      • 

        I hear ya, I’ve got a few people I’d like to introduce to a guillotine as well. Where did you find the mini one? I seriously adore that thing.

        I tried to buy a 12 foot tall knight in full armour to guard the entrance to my driveway a few years ago but my Husband said I wasn’t allowed to bounce a check for him. A guillotine would make up for it.

        • 

          I wish I could remember where I bought it, it was on the Internet, I’m sure a Google search for miniature guillotines would get some good results. Shame about the knight, I would have enjoyed having one of those too, if I had a driveway. I think it’s only fair that your husband allow you to get a guillotine as a substitute.

  39. 

    Tuberculosis is awesome but I must voice my support for 1918 Influenza. I like your collection its really interesting. Have You read Pamuk’s Museum of innocence, after the initial novel he opened up his own museum. reading this reminded me of the books. I dont have anything funny or witty to say. I like this post

    • 

      You, sir, are very intriguing. Anyone who starts off a comment with “Tuberculosis is awesome…” is A-OK in my book. Yes, the 1918 flu was pretty badass, you’re absolutely right. I have not read Museum of Innocence, but now I think I need to check it out. Your comment doesn’t need to be funny or witty—it’s interesting and insightful and groovy, Mr. Mary.

  40. 

    “Narwally!” <– I die. I'm right there with you. My childhood companions were all variations on "something-y" – Blanky, Stripey, Teddy, Barb(y)…

  41. 

    I quietly reflected the Count. I thought, “one second, ah ah ah! Two seconds, ah ah ah! Three seconds, ah ah ah!”

  42. 

    OMG I *need* that stuffed breakfast.

  43. 

    Count Von Count. The wound of his sudden passing last year has still not healed.

    I probably need to see someone about that.

  44. 

    For a while docs here would give girls vaccinations on the underside of their arms so the scar wouldn’t show when they wore sleeveless dresses. My brother was mad – he’s got a really large odd shaped scar on the upper arm…but they just told him boys go “tough guy” scars.

    • 

      Mine was done on my leg, for the same reason. Meanwhile I never wear anything sleeveless. I like how the vaccinator did the “tough guy” spin on your brother, that’s very cool. When summertime comes, I start to zero in on people’s arms to see if they have the vaccination scars. Unfortunately, a lot of women assume I’m staring at their boobs.

  45. 

    Somewhere I remember reading that bullet probing may have hastened Lincoln’s demise, although I doubt he could have survived long. He likely would’ve been in a comatose state, and intravenous feeds weren’t around then.

    That’s one heck of a cool collection of historic tools and fun gadgets you’ve got on display!

    • 

      That’s what I’ve heard as well, about Lincoln. But I definitely agree that he wouldn’t have survived anyway under the circumstances. Poor Abe. I’ll have to ask him about that the next time he visits.

  46. 

    From devices of torture to stuffed toast?? HRH Madame Weebles, you are a mystery to me!!

  47. 

    Hello, Madam – I mean Dr! This was quite the tour! I hope you didn’t notice when I took the penny knife used by a smoking hot guy in the Continental Army! You were looking away during the tour and I just couldn’t resist stashing it in my huge purse! Sorry. :)

  48. 

    Awesome. The smithsonian is probably planning a raid or an enormous cash payment for your collection.

    Life was certainly much harder years ago. The whole purpose of large families used to be to have a reasonable chance of having some left after all the diseases, plagues, and other fun stuff. Weird.

    Cheers!

    • 

      This says Anonymous but I’m going to assume this is Nigel, since nobody but Nigel ends his comments with “Cheers!” Hi Nigel! Yeah, it must not have been easy, not knowing how many, if any, of your kids would life until adulthood. Diseases are a huge bummer.

  49. 

    I want to be your friend forever. You make me feel normal. I don’t have collections because I would collect things and become obsessed and become a hoarder. I don’t want to be a hoarder, so I will just dream about your collections. I am especially enamored with your collection of Count Von Count figures (see that? “Figures”? Get it? Ah, ah, ah.)

    • 

      Hello there, Snide One! Excellent to see you! I watch those hoarding shows and worry that I’ll end up like them, but since I still have working plumbing and don’t have a pile of used adult diapers among tons of other detritus, I guess I’m safe. I see what you did there with the figures. I knew I could count on you to make that sort of joke. (Ah! Ah! Ah!)

  50. 

    Cuddly toast is such a great invention. but cuddly c***ee? How could such an evil be cuddly? What next, pol pot posable action figures?

  51. 

    Yikes. I’ll stick with the remedies the old Sicilian women used on us kids: skin removing scrub with Octagon soap, Vick’s on soles of feet, garlic clove on neck chain, coupla shots of anisette, spoonfulls of olive oil, covering with 4 blankets and a beating with the big wooden salad spoon to drive away the evil spirits.

    • 

      The ghosts of my Sicilian ancestors are probably reading this over my shoulder and saying “Well, of course, that’s how you drive away evil spirits, the source of all ills in the world.” (But they’d be speaking in Sicilian dialect, naturally.)

  52. 

    You need to charge admission to your home. I would buy season tickets.

    • 

      Maybe I’ll try that. Who couldn’t use a little extra cash, you know? I’d let you in for free, though–I’ll give you the secret blogger password so you can get free admittance.

  53. 

    Those “medical” implements are seriously disturbing. Blisterer?? Because they didn’t have enough ways to suffer back then? I have a pretty high ick tolerance, but I don’t think I’d want that thing in my house. I think the part that bothers me most is the bend in the shaft – to make sure it’s evenly heated and easy to apply. ‘Cause after all, it’s a “medical” implement. It should leave a tidy, symmetrical grievous wound. *shudders*

    Love your stuffed toys! For some reason, the ham particularly tickles my funnybone. I was chuckling away, thinking, “Man, she has some seriously weird stuff”… until I recalled that my only stuffed toys are two rats (one grey and one white) and a big beaver. (Yeah, the kind with teeth.)

    • 

      I chuckled at the “the kind with teeth” qualifier, Diane. Earlier medical practices really do seem like torture devices, don’t they? And they all swore by this sort of practice. That’s what amazes me. Even though there is absolutely no empirical evidence that it worked, they clung to this stuff. Although really, if you’re going to be blistered and left with at least a 2nd-degree burn, wouldn’t you want to have as tidy and symmetrical a scar as possible? It’s just good sense.

  54. 

    When I first read of scarificators (in one of those cool picture-filled Eyewitness books), I was instantly filled with approach/avoidance conflict. How could one own one and not… y’know, play with it now and then? Your humours must be in exquisite balance to resist the temptation.

    …and reading through the comments, I’m amazed that there hasn’t been one appearance of the modern concern about the DANGERS OF VACCINATION!!! It’s true, of course, that they are quite dangerous– as you mention above, an entire species of virus has been wiped from the face of the earth by them!

    • 

      Oh, I’ve played with my scarificator. I’m only human, I can’t resist the urge. Seeing all those little blades pop out of the bottom, it’s so cool. Fortunately I have not been relieved of any blood in the process. I can see why some people are wary of vaccination, given the media hysteria and the vast amount of materials erroneously linking vaccines to autism, etc, but yeah, as a public health measure, vaccines have been a freaking godsend to humankind.

  55. 

    You have a wicked collection there, and I like the
    Vampy section best, well I would wouldn’t I my great
    friend :) Of course I like all the others too, oh yes ;)

    Have a lovely rest of weekend now and be naughty :)

    Andro xxxx

  56. 
    writerwendyreid June 29, 2013 at 4:30 pm

    Love your collections Weebly. The old medical “tools” are awesome and I love the plush toys (especially the breakfast). I would do a similar post but the objects in my house aren’t nearly as interesting as yours. Unless I post about my lingerie and sex toys. But nobody wants to see that. xo

    • 

      You know what could be fun, Mistress? I don’t knwo if you’ve done a post like this before, but perhaps if you were to do a critical review of the various sex toys you’ve tried…that could be quite titillating…

      • 
        writerwendyreid July 1, 2013 at 11:40 am

        Not quite sure what you mean by “critical” review. That would imply that I didn’t like it. And just like puppies, I’ve never come across a sex toy that I didn’t like.

  57. 

    You, Madame, are super awesome. Let no one dissuade you from adding to your fabulous collections!

  58. 

    That is a weird collection. But it rocks. I love the guillotine. Think of all the fun one could have making effigies of enemies and road-testing it.

    • 

      Believe me, I know what you mean, Kate. I used to keep the gallows on a shelf at work, with male and female paper dolls. Depending on who pissed me off that day, I’d hang out of them in effigy. It was profoundly satisfying.

  59. 

    No, no, this stuff isn’t weird at all. Everyone has medical tools and a small guillotine in their living room.
    *slowly inches toward the door *

  60. 

    I’m crushing on your historical keepsakes. If I were to visit you, I’d pull a Seinfeld and get you passed out drunk so I could play with your toys.

  61. 

    This is totally fascinating, Weebs! I would pay admission to tour your house of wonders.

  62. 

    A bullet probe? A small guillotine? A plush mug of coffee? Where are you finding these wonderful items Madame Weebles?! Those aren’t the sorts of things you could find in any old shop!
    And imagine Doctor Weebles, imagine how different the world might be if you had become Doctor Weebles…

    • 

      The Internet is the source of all of my collections, Bennie—various wacky sites that sell weird shit. As for Doctor Weebles, I know… I weep just thinking about how different the world might be….

  63. 

    Yes it is shocking how bloodletting, blistering, and probing failed to heal the ick (I love that as the official term). Your collection rocks! Thanks for the tour.

  64. 

    Well this seems perfectly normal to me, and since I haven’t read all the replies I’m going to assume that somebody has also made this kind of comment, so I will aim to write my comment in such a way that makes it unique…did it work?

  65. 
    christopher osunbote July 1, 2013 at 5:39 am

    Interesting. Some scattered pieces of weirdness that make up the human called Weebs. You are quite normal, being made up of many abnormal pieces that add up nicely. Nice trip. Thanks.

  66. 

    I think my original comment went to spam, but, I want to hang out in your house of goodies.

    • 

      I checked my spam but nothing there from you, Mike. Those WordPress gremlins stole your comment, those fucking bastards. You’re welcome to hang out here, just don’t make the same mistake I made in trying to juggle with the lancets.

  67. 

    Yours must be a fun place to have a cup of coffee. I actually still have the guillotine and noose play sets that came as a bonus with my Dick Cheney action figure. The waterboard set was sold separately and is almost impossible to prove. Oops, I mean find…

  68. 

    So YOU’RE the bitch who outbid me for that fabulous fleam at the last auction! Damn you.

  69. 

    Where does one get a tiny guillotine? I’ve got a couple of Barbies I need to shake down.

    I used to know a guy who had a bunch of 18th century apothecary items: injection kits, medicine bottle, drawings, tools. It kind of freaked me out at first, but then I realized I had pieces of medical history in my hands, and thought it was actually really cool.

    • 

      Then you’ll have to come visit, sister—I have 18th- and 19th-century medicine bottles GALORE. My bathroom is decorated to look like a 19th-century apothecary. Complete with leech jar, which holds cotton balls at the moment.

  70. 

    I totally want to pull a B&E on house, Madame.
    Not that I would actually steal anything… but I sure wouldn’t mind taking a few photos of those historical contraptions and such. Fascinating!!!

  71. 

    I thought you couldn’t get any cooler. Then I discover you have a cuddly toy in the shape of toast. And all I can do is weep.

  72. 

    This is the stuff of nightmares.

  73. 

    Your scarificator looks like a robot head! Love it! I also love the Peas in a Pod.

  74. 

    Weebs, do you mind if I call you a Freak-Ass Beyotch? The fucking guillotine is fucking awesome. I’m making my own little shop of horrors after my desk is done. Maybe I’ll decapitate some blogglers I don’t like.

  75. 

    Oh, to walk these hallowed halls.

  76. 

    That collection is genius! GENIUS! Weebs, you so weird, but how I adore you. I too have a stuffed animal problem, but right now they at least fit in a drawer. We’ll see how long that lasts. . .

  77. 

    Love all your random stuff, Mme Weebs. There’s quite a bit of random stuff knocking about here at the Priory (and that does include some of the Sisters as well; we definitely come in different shades of random). Xx

  78. 

    Oh, yessssss! The guillotine is perfect! I need one… who the fuck am I kidding?? My Elflings would love one for the dolls they no longer play with. ;0)

  79. 

    Hubby was a terrific player on those game machines that were all the rage in restaurants here in Canada about 15 years ago & every time we went out to eat he would win me (& everyone who was with me) stuffed toys. At one point I had over 150 toys! Then hubby got tired of all the space they were taking up & we packed them all up, brought them to Winnipeg & distributed them to all our girls!

  80. 

    Wow! I have one stuffed animal that the kids gave me when they were growing up. I have gotten rid of all the rest. I like the old instruments …very interesting. Love the shrine to the count. lol I always liked Oscar. Fun post.

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