My friends, you know how shy I am about expressing my thoughts.
Well, as of right now, I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m going to throw caution to the wind and say what I think, and I’m not going to sugar-coat it. It feels strange and uncomfortable, like breaking in a new pair of shoes. So do me a favor, humor me.
- First, because the 50th anniversary of Kennedy’s assassination is almost upon us, I think Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I’m not much for conspiracy theories, generally. I don’t believe there was a second shooter on the grassy knoll, nor do I think Oswald was working on behalf of the Mob, Castro, the CIA, or anyone else.
- However, I also think that Marilyn Monroe’s death was not an accident. So maybe I believe in some conspiracy theories.
- I think Benedict Cumberbatch is creepy looking. But he has a phenomenal name.
- I’m sick to death of television shows and the media referring to female college students as “co-eds.” I think it’s patronizing and stupid. It’s not 1965. There is absolutely nothing new about women in universities. In fact, female students now outnumber males at college, and they have for some time. So any numskull that uses the term “co-ed” should have a giant clue pill jammed down his or her throat.
- Speaking of television, I think more networks and producers need to take a cue from American Horror Story: Coven. It’s a ridiculously good show, but more importantly, it stars not one, not two, not three, but four women over the age of 50 (Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, and Frances Conroy). And all of the women in the cast are strong characters rather than dithering namby-pamby chicks with blandly attractive, vapid faces. Why can’t more TV shows and movies be like this? Why must we continue to be inundated with noxious fare that depicts females as hypersexualized stick figures with boobs, or victims, or weaklings who need men to take care of them?
- I think skim milk sucks.
- I think yogurt sucks too.
- I don’t know the identity of the first retailer to sell Christmas stuff in September, but I think that person should be publicly maimed and then strung up with Christmas lights.
So that’s what I think.
By the way, I also think it’s worth pointing out that this is my second consecutive post in which I haven’t dropped any F-bombs. I’m starting to cramp up.