I suspect this will probably morph into a history blog of some sort, with other random shit sprinkled in.
I can’t remember the first time I heard the question “If you could invite anyone, living or dead, to dinner, who would it be?” My first thought was probably, “Why would I want to invite a dead person to dinner? Wouldn’t that be a little creepy?”
But my answer to this question has remained the same over time: Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Jesus, and Nikola Tesla.
Abraham Lincoln. I’m sure a lot of people include him as a dinner guest in response to this question, so he’d probably have a pretty booked schedule. Still, I would be thrilled to host a dinner with our 16th president in attendance. He loved to tell jokes, he had a bawdy sense of humor, and even though he was widely despised during his presidency, he was badass.
Theodore Roosevelt. See “badass” above. Man, I wish TR could be president again. Sure, there are things about him that I’m not fond of. The hunting, for one. And the warmongering. But he founded the Progressive party, which advocated all kinds of good stuff: women’s suffrage, election campaign reform, labor reform, and cutting the sleaze and corruption out of politics. He was a huge proponent of environmental conservation, expanded the number of national parks, and established the Antiquities Act for designating and preserving historical and archaeological landmarks. He was in favor of a national health system and universal insurance coverage way before the Clintons or anyone else. And there’s a stuffed animal named after him. What’s not to love?
Jesus. Regardless of whether he is indeed the Messiah, he must have been an extremely nice guy, and you just know he’d have tons of interesting stories. It would be nice to invite him to a dinner party where Judas isn’t invited. I think he would enjoy himself. Plus, he’d be able to help if we ran out of wine.
Nikola Tesla. One of the most underrated, underappreciated men ever to walk the earth. He was crazy brilliant. I mean, brilliant beyond anything most of us can possibly comprehend. You think Thomas Edison was a genius? Tesla ran circles around Edison. (Edison, by the way, really was one of history’s bigger assholes. More about that in a later post, perhaps.) In terms of electricity and electronics, Tesla invented, envisioned, or inspired pretty much everything we have today. It would be fun to have a mad scientist at the dinner table.
Now of course, I have no idea if all these guys would get along at a dinner party. Jesus would presumably get along well with everyone. And I suspect Abe and Teddy would get along very well. And Tesla was a charming gentleman, even though a bit odd, so I think he’d be able to hold his own.