No photos, please

Madame Weebles —  August 21, 2012 — 162 Comments

Yesterday you may have seen my blog and thought, “Holy shit, Madame Weebles has lost her mind.”  As you discovered, that post was written by this guy.  But letting him guest post is obviously an indication of insanity on my part, so you weren’t wrong.  Special thanks to Le Clown for an awe-inspiring display of profanity and crudeness, perfectly underscoring the points I made in my post on his blog.

Now for my whiny tale of woe.  Please go and fetch your tiny violins so you can get ready to play “Hearts and Flowers.”  I’ll pour myself a few fingers of scotch while I wait.

Are we ready?  All righty then.

You may have noticed that there are no photos of me anywhere on this blog.  That’s very deliberate.  I have no photos here, no photos on my Facebook profile, no photos anywhere.  I like it that way because the only thing I hate more than having my photo taken is looking at photos of myself.

Lately I’ve been checking out websites of other patient advocates to get some ideas for my own site.  They all have photos of themselves.  It makes sense.  It’s a very personal thing, helping someone with medical care.  Potential clients might want to know what someone looks like, to see if they’d want to work with them.  It shouldn’t be a beauty contest, but a picture can be helpful.  Someone might think, “He looks like a nice person, I’ll email him for more info,” or, “She reminds me of that bitch I went to high school with—no fucking way am I contacting her.”

There’s no law that says I have to put up a photo, but it will seem odd if I don’t.  It’s like online dating—if you don’t have a picture, people assume you’re coyote ugly or that you have something to hide.  Or both.  So I guess I’ll have to do it.  I’m breaking out in hives just thinking about it.

For the record, I’m not a hideously disfigured freak.  (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)  I can look in a mirror without shattering it.  People don’t retch when they see me.  I’m your basic garden-variety person.  But I don’t want anyone to see my picture.  I’m not especially photogenic, and I occasionally have flashbacks to when I was younger and people made unkind remarks about my looks.  I may have grown out of that awkward stage, but my brain hasn’t.  So sue me.

I’m considering putting someone else’s photo on my site.  Yeah, I know, eventually clients would meet me and see that I look nothing like the photo, but so what?  It’s not like I’d be the first person to do a bait and switch.

Hi. I’m here to help. I’m sorry to say that in reality I look nothing like a young Sophia Loren. It’s just that her picture is a lot nicer than mine.

Or I could be an adult, suck it up, and use an actual photo of me:

If you read my palm you’ll see that I’m a nice person. (For the record, this really is my hand.)

I should not be so freaked out by this.  But honestly, I’m finding this to be the most nervewracking thing about developing my website.  Many of you have photos of yourselves on your blogs and/or Gravatars.  The idea of doing that myself terrifies me.  I admit it, I’m a big chicken.  I’d rather have multiple root canals than show people a photo of me.  It’s a very first-world problem—a luxury problem, if you will.  It’s pretty fucked up.

Now whip out those violins and play that sad, sad song just for me.

162 responses to No photos, please


    You may notice I don’t have pics of myself on my blog either. . . well I did yesterday, but it was a pic of my foot and then my face covered by a sad face. I would not list having my picture taken as one of my favorite activities. This may explain why I purposely screw my face up whenever a camera appears; there are seriously no normal pictures of me from my childhood.


      The pictures of you on your blog are similar to mine, speaker7—I have the photo of my hand today, and a photo of some of my hair on a post from a while back. That’s it. I could make a silly face for a professional photo, that’s an option I hadn’t considered. I’ll have to comtemplate this further.

    A gripping life August 21, 2012 at 7:53 am

    And may I be the first to comment that your hand is exquisite. Truly, lovely.


    You should do what you feel most comfortable doing. That Sophia Loren pic works for me….

    free penny press August 21, 2012 at 8:09 am

    I have a sideways shot because I have never, ever liked pics of myself.. vanity is not my strong suit.. I say better no pics than a site with nothing but their pics.. I like your palm :-)


    I totally hear you. There are few things that I hate more than having my picture taken. I’ve only recently started to acquiesce, because I want the kids to have pictures of me (with them and without them).

    It won’t start out as a comfortable endeavour, but if you know a professional photographer, they’ll know how to work with you to capture you best.


      Good idea, meizac. I could just take a photo of myself with my phone but I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t be the most professional approach. I never would have guessed that you hate having your picture taken, you look so happy and natural in your photos! But having M and Z in there with you probably helps in that regard.


        It helps enormously. It’s easy to be natural with them. It’s less easy to be natural, of course, when I’m the only one. That’s why Z suggested I make faces at him when he was taking my Tough Mudder photos before the event.


    I have only just changed my FB to a photo of me, my friends know what I look like, they don’t need reminding. But I won’t change my Gravatar. I have included a couple of pics on my blog, most noticeably in my Memoirs posts but that’s quite grainy so it passed inspection. I too have no photos of myself otherwise. I hope I don’t go missing as no one will have any of me to put on the posters.


      You can’t change that Gravatar photo, Joe, that little thumbnail happy face is your trademark now. Whenever I see it I know it’s you. I’ve seen a few photos of you on your blog, even a few non-grainy ones as I recall. Looking good! But looking good in photos is no guarantee you’ll love having the photos taken. So I also hope you never go missing.


    I feel the same way Madame. I hate taking pictures, having pictures taken, seeing them…if they’re me, yuck. Unlike you, I dislike the mirror as well.


      I’m not a fan of mirrors either, Hobbles. I don’t shatter them, but I don’t like them. However, I do recall seeing a photo of you attached to your email account, and it was quite fetching.


    I am commiserating with you… just not properly. Not a drop of Scotch in the house, dammit!

    BTW… you may expect to get flooded with e-mails from all the hand-fetishists out there :)


      No scotch? How can you endure a house move without a nice single malt, sybaritica?? Oh, and get this: I’ve received not ONE email from a hand fetishist so far. Not one. Hmmph.


        It’s hell … unfortunately, no liquor store within 2000km makes it tricky to dash out and get some. You can bet a single malt will be on my next air-freight order. Thankfully… we had rum :)

        Shame on the dearth of hand-fetishists… sale on sock puppets maybe?


    You can admit it. You’re a vampire and no one can take a photo of you. G’head. Unburden yourself. You’ll feel better.


    I like the picture my husband painted for me – it works much better than a photo. It’s my idol, Mortcia Addams. I’m more than happy to have people associate it with me. So put a painting of your secret self up – or Sophia Loren…she’s pretty hot.


    Weebs, do what you want — it’s your space and your blog. I hate pics of myself too but I do know the more I drink, the better looking I get. ;). It’s morning and I’m not a scotch drinker so I just avoid mirrors, especially in the morning. Btw, your hand looks FABU, dah-ling!! xxoo


      Thank you, Brigitte dahling! I’ve seen your photo on your blog, and you are quite the lovely Southern Belle. I don’t care about not having a photo up on my blog, but I’ll need something for a professional site. You’ve given me an idea, though—I’ll just drink a lot of gin (or scotch, whatever) before getting my picture taken. This way I really won’t care what it looks like. I suppose I’d also have to stay tipsy in order to post it and keep it up there, though.

    a gripping life August 21, 2012 at 9:00 am

    Oh, I’m sure he is, if by “friendly,” you mean frightened.


    I know what you mean about not wanting a pix of yourself.

    i loathe having my picture taken which is why there ain’t none of me around. however, i’ve been advised to put one up on my linkedin account because as a friend so eloquently put it ‘what they see is what they get.’
    So, if i have to put up a pix, it’ll be something along the lines of Randolph Mantooth circa “EMERGENCY!” or of something cute and cuddly like a vole or a platypus.

    I think the real reason I don’t want a pix up is because i am so beautiful, my face could launch a thousand AMC Pacers, Gremlins and Ford El Caminos. And that wouldn’t be good for no one.


      I don’t have a photo on LinkedIn either, Jules. I hadn’t thought of putting up a cute animal photo—I should do that. Because who doesn’t love bunnies and kittens?? So what if it has nothing to do with my job?

      And you’re wise to stay incognito for the good of the public. Extraordinary beauty is a power more potent than a million atomic bombs. Use it wisely.


    You’re so dark and mysterious. Are you Batman?


    I wondered about yesterday.
    I have not put my picture on my blog yet so that I can tell everyone that I am gorgeous and they cannot prove otherwise.


    I used to not mind pictures of myself but as I’ve gotten older, I’m not so crazy about it. Still, teaching, healing and being recognized as a writer I decided that I had to get some new portraits made. You know what I did? I went to Sears – they have a portrait studio and for a hundred bucks, they did five shots and I got a DVD and copyright-free use of them anywhere I wanted. I know it doesn’t solve your problem, Weebs. But you’re right, you probably want to have a photo of yourself on a patient advocacy website, especially if you want to have clients. I could do a healing for you if you’d like…


      Your photo on your Gravatar is great, Cathy. It has its own energy, which I’m sure you’re well aware. To me it very obviously projects someone who is strong, gentle, no-nonsense, nurturing, wise, and funny, all at the same time. It really does–it’s almost hypnotic to me. That’s no small feat. And thank you so much for the offer of the healing…I may take you up on that, actually!


        Thank you for such kind comments, MW! I am completely confident that your photo would project very similar qualities – and I mean that with all my heart. After all, the qualities we are able to see in others are ones we possess ourselves. Maybe find a photographer whose work (especially portraits) that you love and trust them to create something that you actually like? And I’d love to do that healing for you. You have my email on the notices you get from my comments (via email). Let me know and we’ll make it happen!



    I hate pictures of me, but my work makes me have a picture on its site. I’m pretty sure all blog pics of me are with sunglasses.

    Fish Out of Water August 21, 2012 at 9:54 am

    I didn’t use my picture when writing the homeschool blog to protect Little One’s anonymity. Now I talk about everyone here so much I want to continue that. I suppose I’m not too fond of having my picture taken either. I have a habit of deleting them all off Husband’s phone.


    This is obviously something that’s very emotionally charged for you. Sad to say, but at this point in history Society seems to be unhealthily obsessed with visual perfection…which I might point out DOES NOT EXIST in reality! And, if everyone looked perfect – it would be a boring visual landscape to view. I love people and faces with history and depth and a story and heart and a brain and a wicked sense of humor. A pleasing facade may draw your eye to a building, but if it’s a jail I seriously doubt you’ll want to dwell there. Like Grippy & Stacie said, do what’s right for you and your devotees will still see the beauty within.
    On a monetary note though: a business venture plays by different rules unfortunately. People put their money & their lives in the hands of people they judge can deliver what they need/want/pay for. For different fields those parameters appear to change. For me personally (in a patient advocate) I would search for someone who (1) has communication skills out the wazoo, (2) is a bull-terrier of a fighter who won’t turn loose til the end-of-times, (3) is a straight-shooter & will not piss in my ear and tell me it’s raining, (4) experience navigating the tricky bureaucratic, ego-driven waters of medical protocol and red tape and (5) has ample common sense + a strong moral compass. If you have a pic that conveys all that, then to hell with the 3 heads and snakes for hair. I’m IN!


      This is really helpful to hear, Nikki—thanks so much for this. You’re right, this issue is way more emotionally charge for me than it probably should be, but there it is. On a blog, I don’t care so much about not putting up a photo, since I’m not here for a beauty contest. And I would want all the things you mentioned here in an advocate as well. I like to think I have all those attributes, so hopefully the three heads and the snakes in my hair won’t be *too* off-putting for people. Thank you!!


    I know how you feel. I relate. I’ve seen as we all have a variety of types photographed on the web. I like photos of people who radiate something that reaches out and grabs me, maybe through the eyes, through the smile — that energy beyond. I like the photos that say, this is me unapologetically. Forget about symmetry and physical perfection and all of that. I’m glad you talked about this Mme. Weebles. I hope to see photos soon… Once you put one up there — maybe you’ll feel like saturating the web with your essence!


      I love seeing photos of you, Sandee. You’re a great looking broad, and talk about someone whose personality comes through in photos! Your pictures definitely say “This is me, unapologetically.” That’s something I will be keeping in mind whenever I do get a photo taken. Thanks, Sandee!

    whiteladyinthehood August 21, 2012 at 10:07 am

    Good post. I hate, hate to have my photo taken…


    I hate having my photo taken as many do and have testified. For any photo of me you see, there was at least a hundred that didn’t make the cut. Video doesn’t bother me though…weird.


    I get it; believe me, I do. I wasn’t thrilled to put my pic up, but I knew I’d have to do it for marketing purposes. Everything I read said people want to see who they’re dealing with. Of course, now you’ve given us such a big build up, we’ll be in nail-biting anticipation waiting for it. ;)


      That’s true, you’d need a photo for marketing your book, I didn’t even think of that, Carrie. I know you aren’t a fan of posing for photos either—although I still say your Gravatar photo is nice.

      One of these days I’ll have to just get a picture of me up on my professional site, so if it doesn’t look too alarming, maybe I’ll share it here. Or maybe I’ll just let everyone keep thinking I look like a young Sophia Loren.


        The irony of all irony is, after I finally got a head shot done at JC Penneys, my publisher told me they don’t include author images in their e-books. Don’t know why. Hopefully, they will in the print book, or it was all for naught. Then again, the photo is serving me well as a Google+ image. Not that I do anything in Google+…


    I don’t photograph well. I feeeeelllllll your pain, Madame! One thing I’ve noticed is that when I’m looking at pictures of friends, I think they look great, they think they look hideous. They say the same about my photos that I think are hideous: they think I look great. Friends are wonderful! Anyway, it’s very much a matter of perception, and what I’m figuring out is that in this case you’ll have to go by others’ perception. I’m pumping you up because I can see the day approaching when I’ll have to bite that same bullet! xoxoM


      Thanks, Margarita! And you’re right about having to go by the perception of others–it’s difficult to be objective about your own photos. So maybe we can psych each other up for the inevitable photo shoots!


        You got it! I keep reminding myself that small children do not run away screaming when I approach, so regardless what I see in the mirror, I’m probably not hideous! xoxoM


    Hold the phone….you’re not a kitten?

    I don’t enjoy having my picture on here, but I too read that people want to know who they are talking to, so here I am.


    So let me get this straight: I gotta see a pic of some damn French Canadian with a bulge in his pants but not a photo of your face?

    Not cool, Weebs. Not cool.


    I only recently put a photo of myself on my blog. It is a picture of me, wearing sunglasses, flanked by two good-looking young men: my nephew and my son. Who wouldn’t look good in such a photo? I will gladly lend you my nephew and son. They need the work. Or, you can swipe my photo and I can swipe yours. It will be a very cold day when I take off the shades and post my face on my personal blog. BUT, I am facing the same quandry on my soon to be fabulous professional blog.


      That’s a good idea, using good-looking guys as props. I’ll let you know when I’m getting a photo taken so we can arrange for your son and nephew to come over and pose with me. I’ll even pay their way here. And maybe I’ll stand behind them so that I’m not really that visible in the photo. Yeah, that might work.


    I’m with you, Madame. I absolutely HATE to have my picture taken. I’m one of those obnoxious people who refuse to simply smile and get it over with. If I find myself in a group photo opportunity that I can’t avoid, I’ll be the one pushing and shoving to get to the center of the back row so I can crouch behind a tall person.


    Hey I don’t put pictures of me on my blog either. I want to let the gobbledegook I put on there do the talking.


    Use what you feel comfortable with – it is the quality of your posts that stand out!


      Well thanks, buddy–although I hire you to work some magic on my photo and add Ginger hair the way you’ve done with Julian Assange, Wayne Rooney and Usain Bolt (minus the chicken).


    Do like me: take one small part of yourself, use a Photoshop-like thing to manipulate it, and use it as a Gravatar.
    Success guaranteed ;).


    Are you my sister? I have no picts posted either. And then the name….well you get it…. I am notsofancy and I don’t think I will ever get over that.When I was young I heard the story of pictures stealing people’s souls. Some days I think that may still be a possibility. I am told this all started when I was about three. I have very few pictures of me when I was young. I feel like I still have my soul so maybe it is not true?


    I held out for a while, but just figured I would add one.

    Based on the pic of your hand, has anyone offered you a palm reading?


    we give up so much privacy just logging onto the internet I feel I need to keep something to myself. I’d go with Sophia, but then again, looking at my gravatar, I may not be an objective advice giver.


    I hate looking in mirrors and sometimes it takes days before I’m brave enough to look at tagged pics of me on Facebook. So I get where you are coming from. The good part about your website is that you can get a professional/good friend to take the pictures. Use sexy lighting, makeup and NEVER EVER let them take a picture from BELOW. That’s the kiss of death. If someone attempts to take a picture from below your chin kick them in the face. There, now go take some pics. ;)


      If anyone ever posted a photo of me on FB I’d hit the roof. Although it’s unlikely that anyone actually has any pictures of me to post.

      I suppose a boudoir shot would be inappropriate for a professional photo. Unless I was in the right line of business. Maybe I’ll rethink my career goals.


    I’ve always wondered who was on the other end of that kitten’s rifle in your gravatar? Lee Harvey Dogswald? Scrappy Doo?

    going to andromeda August 21, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    I am not photogenic either, unless I take the photo myself and set the lighting up to be kind. I deleted my Facebook account ages ago but what pisses me off is there are still photos of me on there that people tagged me in on THEIR profiles, photos on people’s pages who don’t even speak to me anymore, photos that I wouldn’t in a million years want my nearest an dearest to see, let alone some idiot’s 600+ friend count. Perhaps you could put a photo of somebody who vaguely looks like you? Or do some intelligent photo shopping? Or just go with Sophia Loren, I’m sure people would feel far too awkward to mention it.


    I know how people want to see pictures… and sometimes it’s best to give in… sometimes there are creative passive aggressive ways to comply to people’s wishes and still make a point…


    I used to be the same way. I had a Myspace account for a year without any real pictures up. Then finally I added one and a Spanish girl I had a crush on told me I was “coot” whatever that means.

    Your breasts seem pretty popular. A picture of those could help matters. People aren’t going to tell you if they think you look ugly. They will tell you if they like what they see which can always break you out of the shell.


      Meanwhile isn’t that a new photo in your Gravatar? I like. Very coot indeed.

      Yeah, people hopefully would be too polite to say if they thought I was ugly. I’d probably get “Aw, you look like a nice person” or something. So maybe I should just go with faceless cleavage.


    Nothing wrong with keeping an air of mystery. As advised, just do what feels comfortable, it’s the writing that counts.
    Just seen a pic of John Wilkes Booth on freshly pressed. That’s one dashing dead assassin.


    I feel just the same way. I hate photos of myself: I look better moving. Thus my gravatar is a small bug sitting on a computer keyboard.


    get it done professionally, then have them photoshop the hell out of it until you stop twitching… it would STILL be you, but may not end up entirely recognizable. Or get an action shot — you advocating for a paitient, with your fist in front of your face as you fight a cold-hearted hospital administrator… you can do it! we can help!


    I get it. I never used to put pictures of myself on the interwebs either until I had a friend rip that band-aid off and I just went with it after that, with many embarrassing results. But, there are benefits to maintaining a bit of internet mystery; you still have the opportunity to just move on and start a new life. You could walk up to any of us on the street and freak us the hell out. You could post a picture of a young Sophia Lauren, claim it’s you, and we can’t argue with you. This is actually the best possible position to be in.

    I see from your palm that you have a long happy life ahead of you. Or a short complicated life, I can’t remember which is which.


      Palm reading isn’t my forte either, RG. But yeah, eventually I’ll have to rip that bandaid off. Or maybe I’ll put up a photo of Gene Wilder, and people will be pleasantly surprised when they see that I don’t actually look like him.


        That is also a good strategy. And I would bet that you err more on the side of Sophia than Gene. Or maybe you could just post little bits of you at a time and wait for someone to photoshop them all together.


    I think you should ditch the website and call George Castanza for a hand model referral.
    I am with you one hundred percent on the picture thing. I get really pissed about having to have my photo used for ANYTHING work related. I have no control over it and it bothers me immensely. I hate looking at myself and I hate photos. They want to put our bios with pics on the work website and I hate the idea. I’ll stop ranting here.
    However.. I do like seeing fellow bloggers so I can see the appeal. Kinda curious. Right?


      UGH—I am so glad I never had to worry about photos at my office. That would have been a nightmare. And yes, I can see the appeal too, because it’s natural to want to see a picture of someone whose words you’ve been reading, or whose services you might want to employ. Still, UGH. That hand model idea is looking pretty good right now.


    I’m Statler. Waldorf wasn’t grumpy enough.
    I wonder how you mime WTF?


    Have you noticed how many gravatars aren’t photos of the bloggers? Joe hides under his hat-brim. LadyRyl and I show a bit of face from behind a cat. With the remake of Total Recall, I saw a picture of Philip K. Dick. It could have been either of us peering out from behind his black cat.


      Hi Archon! Yes, there are a lot of non-people pictures in Gravatars, aren’t there. I like your photo, I’m a sucker for photos of silver foxes and their pets. Maybe I’ll use a photo of myself hiding behind all three of my cats. That should be enough of a cover.


    Try hiding behind a prop…say a large plaid coffee mug. Then eventually you can do a few stupid and embarrassing vlogs where you don’t give a rat’s ass what you look or sound like. Worked for me. And I take horrible photos. I also hate the sound of my voice on recordings. Also my mannerisms. But there’s something freeing about just laying it all out there.


      Wow. You’ve done vlogs? I raise my coffee cup to you, Maineiac. The idea of being on video is even more repugnant to me than an ordinary camera. I’m not thrilled with my voice either, but I’d rather hear a recording of myself than pictures of myself. Maybe I’ll just get it all out there one day—I’ll do a few shots of tequila and let ‘er rip.


    You can see my photo is one of dead autumn flowers rotting in a field. Says all it needs to say about me :P


    I feel exactly the same way. I hate my own pictures, hate having them taken, hate seeing them. Real hatred. But I suck it up occasionally for special events or passports. If you can afford it, see about getting a professional head shot done. They can make even the plainest jane look like a movie star. Or at least a kind and caring patient advocate.


      Oy, the passport photo. What is it about DMV and passport photos that make them so universally awful? Yeah, a professional photographer (and photo retoucher) would be helpful here. Good call.


        There’s a reason people sometimes call ID photos “mug shots.” Everyone always looks like they just committed a felony in them. Which could be a problem when you have to show your license to the cops.


    Your palm looks just like Sophia Loren’s!


    I forgot about that photo, Robin. Good idea. I don’t usually wear that outfit, but for a professional website, it couldn’t hurt to look more badass.


    Well. I suppose I’ll stop creeping all over your old posts, desperately searching for a pic of you… Sophia’s a total babe, if I could pull off a high-jacked Sophia Loren gravtar, I totally would. Run with it.
    We’ve all had enough of reality, if there’s one place we should be able to look exactly how we choose, it should be the Great Internet Void.


    Silhouettes are nice.
    Now that you’ve established the hand precedent, how about something playful with you looking through your fingers?


    Shit, I go away for a couple of days, and when I come back I discover I’ve missed clown porn and I’m 140-some comments down the list. Sigh.

    I feel your pain with the photos. I have a gift for contorting my face into expressions of sheer idiocy in the presence of cameras (at least, I prefer to think it’s ONLY in the presence of cameras – we all cling to our delusions). Out of the couple of hundred the professional photographer took, three were acceptable. The one on my blog doesn’t really look that much like me, since her makeup artist spackled my face and her lighting hid my wrinkles. But what the hell, it’s a picture.

    This is the part where I’d normally say something chirpy and encouraging, but I got nothin’. At least it’s not physically painful… usually…


      That’s okay, Diane, I appreciate the effort. True, at least getting one’s photo taken isn’t physically painful, and fortunately the emotional scars are below the surface. And what is it about the presence of the camera that turns us into wooden morons? I don’t get that. You know how with people who are really photogenic, they say “the camera loves them”? Yeah, well, that camera stole my boyfriend, tried to poison my coffee and then told me my ass was fat.

    writerwendyreid August 22, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    You should see my driver’s license picture. You want to see fucked up? :-P Just count to 3, hold your breath and post your picture.


      I think they do it on purpose with driver’s license photos, Wendy. They go out of their way to make everyone’s photo look like a mug shot. I guess I’ll just suck it up and take the fucking picture one of these days.

        writerwendyreid August 22, 2012 at 7:53 pm

        You know, the longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be. It’s like having to jump into cold water. The quicker you jump in and get used to it the better! :-)


    You have lots of options. A cartoon, a gravatar, a discreet picture of yourself where you couldn’t really be identified, or a really photo-shopped version, haha. I don’t think people care what anyone looks like, but I agree that it does affect the impression. Maybe I’d have more readers if I removed mine, haha.

    On a separate note, I nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger Award. You can get the info on my last post if you want, and I’m fine if you hate that sort of thing. Regardless, have a great day!

    I can’t wait to see what you decide on the picture!


    It’s you only better! Alright enjoyed the posts, thanks to the Madame for correction, so pictures with words are fine by me. Here’s a tiny tissue.


    I know exactly how you feel, Madame… although I actually have good reason to feel that way!
    Hey, I know… maybe you could just make a silly ‘draw-er-ing’ of yourself? I think that would strike people as being very professional.


      I wish I could get away with a drawring, spilledink—I suppose I could if it were for a creative type of business, but I probably can’t do that for working with patients and healthcare. Drat.


    Hey I feel your pain Madame Weebles, I hate pictures of myself too. I am the most non-photogenic person on the face of the earth. Don’t you despise those people who can take a picture of themselves right after waking up and STILL look like a freaking runway model? I do. Bitches….


      What are you talking about??? The photo of you on your Gravatar is really nice! However, I know what you mean about those people who look good no matter what. Many years ago I saw Cindy Crawford on the street—it was early in the morning and she had no makeup on at all. And she still looked great. It ruined my week.


    I could not read through all 162 comments (MY GOD YOU ARE LOVED AND WIDELY READ!).
    I may be repeating someone else’s comment, but my first thought was get a professional photographer whose work you admire and pay that person to take some photos. I have had professional photos taken a few times…I have never paid cash for this, I traded massages or was offered for free by my friend who was trying out her new camera. Do you have a friend with a new camera?
    If you have someone else take the photos, or better yet, someone (preferably a female) who LOVES you take a bunch, you’ll be able to choose. Someone else will be able to capture what you can’t see. Angles and lighting help us all–no doubt about it. Make-up. Hair. Have it done if you don’t like the way you do it. Or skip getting fancy with hair and make-up. Rely on a good photographer and good lighting. I am sure you are beautiful in some way that someone else knows and you may not.
    My pal who did a nude photo shoot of me did some touching up on one of the photos and I HATED it. I was all polished up and mask-like. Touching up and photoshopping are not the answer!

    Study photos of people your age who you admire. What is it about them that shines through in a photo? So many beautiful women (and men) are natural in photos, not posed. Why do they look good if they are not posing? What does look good if they are posing? It is probably a quality that goes beyond their looks, something shining through. You have a bright mind and a sharp wit. You seem comfortable and brave in telling about yourself. Shedding discomfort and tension and judgment WHILE you are being photographed may do more than you realize in you looking better in photos.

    It is nutty to me that I’ve used up so much space here and so much of your time on this topic, but I have thought about it quite a bit. Just turn yourself on (and I mean that in many ways) in front of the camera and see if you don’t like the result a little bit better. You are bright and witty and funny. Turn those traits on, look right at the lens, relax, enjoy. Do not judge yourself or the experience, put it out of your mind and be present in the moment. It gets easier the more you do it. I have learned to like it more than I ever thought I would and I think I’m pretty good at getting my photo taken sometimes. AND, it’s not like the old days, right? You can get 50 photos taken and delete them all if they suck. It’s very freeing.

    Hang in there and give us all an update.


      Hiya Twinkly!!! How the fuck are ya? Thank you for your thoughts on this, it’s very helpful and insightful. I always find it to be more of a chore than anything else, but I never really thought of it as a way of expressing myself. But I will ponder your words further and see if I can muster up some cojones. Thank you!!


    Do you have a tattoo? You should take a picture of a body part that you find particularly attractive … like a place with a tattoo, your toes, your bum … you get the idea. ;)

    And for the record, I would need to read your left hand to get an accurate reading.


    If everyone worries about what they look like, does anyone really care what anyone else looks like? (I figure the only person who cares what I look like is me, and since I don’t care all that much either, I don’t mind putting my photo on my web page!)


      I’ve thought about this, Margie—people are generally so caught up in what *they* look like that they aren’t giving much thought to what everyone else looks like. I shouldn’t care so much, especially for a professional site, it’s really about business and not whether one has a glamour shot. One of these days I’ll get over myself.


    I use just the one photo of myself, it was taken near the Rollright Stones and they were giving me the creeps. Then hubby said something to make me smile and took the photo (so strictly speaking it’s his copyright but I ‘adjusted’ it in photoshop, so now it’s mine) and it’s actually one of the more bearable ones of me that I have. I did show one other shot of myself – a self-portrait – in my previous blog as it was moody and in the golden light of sunset (and in a mirror) but that didn’t stay in the blog for long.

    The one I use is old and I don’t look much like it anymore so I’m no longer bothered about people seeing it.

    I’d love to see one of you, but equally I’d miss the gun-toting kitten! ;)


    Dear Madame, you won me with this post! The only photos of myself I have ever liked were the candid camera ones where I actually look like a real person instead of a sourpuss. I hate cameras and cameras hate me. So instead of a photo I used a chibi my daughter drew many years ago.
    Be brave, be strong and stand your ground!


    I don’t have my picture on my gravatar, either. I’m stunningly handsome, and I know it, but I’d just rather my face not be linked with some of the things I say. I do use personal pictures of myself on my site, but they’re never labelled as such.

    Do you mean posting your photo here or on a different site dedicated exclusively to patient advocacy? In that case, yes, I think it would be helpful to have a real photo–I use a photo on all my professional profiles. But if not, I’m awfully fond of the “Book Depository Kitten.”


      I have no doubt that if you were to put your photo on your blog, people would weep from your beauty, Smak. So I’m glad you’re being considerate enough to keep us from such heartache.

      This would be for a completely different site, apart from my blog—that little kitty sniper is here for the duration, fear not.


    I have no photos of me on my blog – because a photo of me would break the illusions I have created. On the internet nobody knows if you are a dog,_nobody_knows_you're_a_dog


    This was really fun to read considering you’ve already shared several gorgeous photos of yourself and that beautiful hand, err more specifically, finger.

    I’m debating a reveal for the new year. I’m a needle in a blog-world haystack anyway. Why the fuck not.

    Do you regret your reveal?


      I don’t think you’re a needle in a blog-world haystack. But my haystack is not that big, so your blog stands out to me. :D What the fuck, do a reveal, as long as it’s comfortable for you to do! I kind of regret my reveal, it seemed like it would be a good thing to do at the time but I miss being completely anonymous—it made me feel better to know that nobody knew what I looked like, if that makes any sense.


        It does make sense to me, perfect sense. I think that’s my fear. That once you put something out there, then it’s out there and there’s no undoing it. But… Statically speaking, the odds of any random person finding my blog and saying “holy shit, I KNOW her” are minuscule (that’s all I meant from the needle in a blogstack reference- there are just So. Many. Blogs. out there.) so I’m not so worried about privacy just more of a general regret, like getting a drunken tattoo. I guess it’s just fear. Huh. Fuck fear. 2013 will be the year of reveal. :)
        (Thanks for listening to me ramble. I haven’t told you how I think it’s majorly awesome you are a Reiki Master. Have a great day!)

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