Knowledge that will enrich your life

Madame Weebles —  November 19, 2012 — 182 Comments

Not really.  Well, maybe.

I’m doing a post soon to thank and acknowledge everyone who has bestowed awards upon me.  When other bloggers accept awards, I enjoy reading their “10 things about me” or “answers to 7 questions” usually associated with the awards.  I like knowing about people’s quirks, random likes and dislikes, answers to wacky questions, etc.  So I decided to write a bunch of stuff about myself in lieu of doing the awards ones.

So here it is, a bunch of random shit about me:

  • Whole portobello mushrooms scare me.  I’ll eat them, but not if they’re whole.  When they’re whole they look like little aliens and they creep me out.
  • I’m an only child.  People ask me, “What’s it like to be an only child?”  I never know how to answer because I have no other frame of reference.  All I can say is, it was good.  And no, I wasn’t a spoiled brat—my parents made sure of that.
  • For some reason I have a fascination with Victorian undergarments.  All those corsets and stays and petticoats and stuff.  Despite the fact that they were probably extremely uncomfortable.
  • I love pistachio ice cream, but I dislike pistachio nuts.
  • I detest honey (sorry, bees, I still love you).  Just the smell of it makes me queasy and hurts my teeth.
  • When I was a kid I played the piano.  I haven’t played in years, so it would take me ages to get my chops back.  But I’d love to learn how to play the harpsichord and the pipe organ.   I’d have to buy a really ornate candelabra for that, though.
  • Despite playing piano for many years, I utterly suck at reading music.  I literally still have to count the bars on the music to see which note it is:  “Okay, that’s one, two bars up, above the bar, so that’s an A.”  It’s brutal.  For me it’s much easier to play by ear.
  • Third and final music-related fact: I’ve composed a jazz tune, although I haven’t actually written it down or arranged it yet.  It mysteriously started composing itself in my head when I was about 8 or 9.  I have no idea why.  It’s nothing I’ve ever heard, and to my knowledge it isn’t a song that already exists.  It’s a ragtime-style piece, and over time it wrote itself, adding more passages every so often.  The song is finished now, and I can hear the whole thing in my head with all the instruments.
  • My elbows are double-jointed.  Mr. Weebles finds it alarming.  (And sadly, I am double-jointed in no other areas.)
  • My favorite curse word is “motherfucker.”
  • I cry whenever I watch movies or TV shows where animals are hurt.  Even if they’re computer-generated animals.  I sobbed my guts out at Godzilla, and I refuse to watch King Kong or Mighty Joe Young.
  • Even though I’ve seen every episode eleventeen million times, I still laugh out loud at I Love Lucy, Seinfeld, and The Golden Girls.
  • I really love practical jokes, as long as they’re not mean.  That’s the one thing I really miss about office life—playing pranks on my coworkers.

So there you have it—random info about Weebs.  It feels a little self-absorbed to do this but you know what?  It was fun.

But enough about me.  Let’s talk about you.  What do YOU want to know about me?

182 responses to Knowledge that will enrich your life


    ha ha – you got me a whole portobello mushrooms–the rest was gravy


    Double jointed elbows – sounds scary and weirdly entertaining at the same time.
    So do you wear the Victorian undergarments or do you just like looking at them?


      So far I’ve just enjoyed looking at them and learning about them. I suppose one day I could try some on, but I assume I won’t like them for wearing. I think Victorian women would think I was out of my mind: “Are you kidding? Being laced in a corset until you can barely breathe? You find that fascinating?”


    It’s good you have a song you like in your head rather than wanting to drill a hole in your brain from getting something irritating stuck in there


    I always enjoy reading these quirky things about a blogger. I love that you’ve written a jazz tune in your head. I also play piano. I’m pretty rusty now so I really need to get back to practicing. I can sometimes compose classical music in my head, instruments and all. Unfortunately, I never can remember it long enough to write any of the notes down. Too bad or I’d be rich by now (or at least make money writing bad commercial jingles…)

    free penny press November 19, 2012 at 8:11 am

    I Love Lucy will forever be my favorite show of all times.. i cried like a baby when Lucille Ball died..


    How many weebles do you in fact own?


      I don’t actually know, that’s a good question. I have one of every single Weeble every made, with some duplicates. It’s at least 50. I’m going to count them and get back to you because now I want to know too.


    I know what you mean about the awards list … which I also do as you do, thus do my own way.

    Love the list. Now that I know you can read music (coupled with already knowing you want to play handbells), Here’s a link for you … then go to Membership > Area Connections …. and you may find some names to guide you in the right direction.

    Double-jointed elbow reminds me of this.


    Blue Bell makes a great pistachio ice cream but without pistachio nuts. They use almonds instead. Huh ?


    I love medical equipment from the Victorian era – it’s so creeeepy…and I am obsessed with Memori Morte


    images like the dude playing the piano all back’erds is the reason why i drink and am afraid of clowns.


    Hmmm. What I’d like to know about you… How did you get interested in Reiki and how long have you been doing it?


    Golden Girls rock, I know all the episodes by heart but laugh every single time.

    whiteladyinthehood November 19, 2012 at 9:33 am

    These were great tidbits about yourself! I find it interesting, all these little quirks I/people have…(one of my co-workers has a thing against buttons…she won’t touch them…)
    I love mushrooms (even the whole ones) and I get upset when animals get hurt, too. I did see the re-make of King Kong with Jack Black – I thought it was a great movie, but I quit watching before the inevitable comes…
    Since you are an only child, did you ever want a sibling?


      That’s strange, I also have met people who have a thing against buttons. I never would have thought that buttons could be a thing. Go figure. Yeah, I couldn’t watch either the original or remakes of King Kong or Mighty Joe Young. I can’t watch nature shows either. Mr. Weebles knows to change the channel whenever there’s even a hint that an animal will be hurt. Even the computer-generated ones! Why will nobody think of the CGI animals??

      I did want a sibling when I was a kid–but by the time I was a surly teenage I was pretty cool with being an only child. Sometimes I think it would have been nice if I had had a sibling but only if we had a good relationship. As I know that’s not always the case…


    You have skills… Lots of them…


    All Weebles, all the the time


    Fun to learn these things about you. Now we just need to see your photo and hear you play your jazz tune, and all will be right with the world. :)


    I know why visitors to Victorian Era brothels were interested in Victorian Era undergarments. I want to know why you are interested in them.


      I’m not sure how or why it happened, but I’ve always loved 19th-century history (as I know you do as well). Victorian dresses are pretty darned cool, and when I learned about the impressive infrastructure underneath–the bustles, corsets, etc etc etc, I was intrigued by everything that went into creating that look (not to mention whatever undergarments were needed to keep a woman from being unbearably uncomfortable). And women take long enough to get dressed nowadays, can you imagine how long it took 150 years ago? Not to mention how long it took to get *undressed*. I don’t think the Victorians were as prudish as people think they were, I think it’s just that it took too long to strip down and get busy.


    Ok , I get the portobellos thing. They ARE creepy. And I’ve been a singer and taken many piano lessons. For some reason, I can sight read to sing, but suck at sight reading for the piano. What is it about the piano???

    I have so much fun getting to know you better!


    I want to know… Spaghetti and Meatballs or Chicken Parmigiana?


    I wish I could play by ear. I’m utterly useless without written music. So here’s my question for you: When are you going to get on the piano and record that jazz tune? I want to hear it! :-)


      So you’re the opposite of me then! I wish I could do written music. I mean, I can, it just takes forever for me to get the notes down. I think I’m going to download some music notation software so I can just connect it to a keyboard and get the song down that way–if I have to write it the old-fashioned way, it will never get done.


    This is a wonderful list, and I’m so glad to know you better, Madame Weebles. Crying re: animals, laughing out loud at the three television show, and practical jokes … I am right there with you! I envy that you know how to play piano and hope you get that jazz song down on paper one day.


    We’re soul mates — I was cracking up so hard at the double jointed thing — not being double jointed in other areas and said out loud laughing, ‘Motherfucker’! — only to see in the very next item that it’s your favorite curse word! This also had me cracking up so hard — crying for computer generated animals – I’m laughing typing this at the same time!


      I mean, seriously, why would nature make a girl double-jointed in her ELBOWS?? How is this helpful? Unless you want to play the piano with your back to the keys (which I never really felt the urge to do)?

      I wish I had seen you saying “Motherfucker” and then seeing the word right after that. Good times! :) And honestly, will no one think of the poor computer-generated creatures getting horribly slaughtered??


    What’s fun (to me) about these lists of things that people post in response to awards is what they choose to include. Sounds to me like you really need to get back into playing music since you mention it so much!


    I love I Love Lucy – I laugh until I cry. I can’t bear to watch animals get hurt either. Just say the words “Puppy Mill” and I’m hugging a terrier and crying.


      The episode where she does that mirror routine with Harpo Marx still makes me laugh until I cry. There are other episdoes too but that one is probably my favorite. And amen about puppy mills. Puppy mills, animal hoarders, even breeders. If I hear about them, I cry.


    We’re on the same page with that favorite curse word. I find it very all purpose.


    Just a quote from one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes:
    I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, “Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! Open the door! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!”


      I love that episode, Herman. The suede jacket, the pink & white striped lining, the “Let us in! We’re all wearing leather!” line, and Elaine’s father. That’s an episode I laugh out loud at.


    My elbows are double jointed too! And nothing else. Crazy. We’re short, boobs, Sicilian lovers of pistachio ice cream with double jointed elbows.

    Love when you share things. Awesome and very interesting about the jazz tune.


    The consistency of portabello mushrooms makes me gag. I don’t know how people eat portabellos like burgers. ick. Motherfucker is an awesome word. You’re the best Jerry, the BEST!


    How do you feel about books in the bathroom?


      I gotta be honest here, Erica, I’m not opposed. I mean, sometimes things take a while. It happens. Sometimes you might need something to read. However, I draw the line at things like the episode of Seinfeld where George takes a book into the bathroom at the bookstore.


    Madame I can so see you sitting in a saloon playing that ragtime jazz dressed like Miss Kitty. OMG I was laughing so hard at your fun facts that I thought I read that your eyebrows were double jointed and thought holy shit I gotta go back and look at those Where’s Weebs photos. (I’m still a little hungover)
    laughing my ass off at myself right now…..hang on…..okay, I’ve pulled it together, but tears are running down my face, happy that I’m HonIE and not honEY.


      Oh Honie. I wish I could’ve seen you cracking yourself up, that would have been hilarious to watch. You’re so cute, with this and your being hesitant to drop a few F bombs on the blogs.

      And YES YES YES!! I would TOTALLY want to be Miss Kitty playing the piano in the saloon! Yes! Having double-joined eyebrowns would be pretty impressive, though. I can raise one eyebrow like Mr. Spock does, but I’m not sure that counts as being double-jointed.


        Yes, the Spock brow so counts. I’m absolutely doubled over in hysterics trying to picture that. So out of control that I’ve used the King’s Speech on yet another blog. Somebody stop me….no wait, don’t. ;o


    Have you had pistachio pudding? Mmmm


    Aw, I would also love to get back to playing piano. I can relate! But then I think to myself, what would I do with such a skill, give concerts?


    Some lovely Weebles facts: I love the jazz tune…


    Say more about this Victorian fascination…


      Well, I’ve been fascinated by Victorian history for quite some time. And I love Victorian clothes–both the men’s and women’s outfits. And when I learned just how much crap went into putting a woman’s outfit together, I just got really interested in the whole undergarment thing. And I mean, if you were a Victorian gal of generous proportions, you probably needed a LOT of structural engineering to hoist and lift and buttress. So interesting to me.


    Okay… so now I’ve got ‘THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND!’ or… you know… what ever that theme song is actually called stuck in my head.
    So… that’s happening.
    Other than that, this was an awesome idea, Madame!
    Also, apparently my elbows are NOT double jointed.
    But I’m a bit better at typing with my nose than I realized.
    Send for help, please. :)


    Ok, here’s a shocker. I love jazz music…oh wait, and I have been known to use the word motherfucker before. So now you know. :)


    A fascination with Victorian undergarments seems sensible; there’s a thesis to be written on how the generations continued in the face of the vast impediments those things presented.

    Of items not revealed; what substitute curse words do you favour when there’s wee tender ears about? I’ve been employing “Monkey trumpets!” and “Oh, excrement.”


      I don’t tend to have wee tender ears around, ravensmarch, since I have no kids, but when I’m around my friends with kids, I try to either keep it PG-rated or I’ll just say things like “What the F?” Or “Mother-effer.” I like “monkey trumpets” though. It somehow sounds naughty even though it isn’t. Another blogger here, meizac, uses “Holy bananas,” which I think is great too.


    Great list of Weeble factoids. Know what creeps me out? That photo of the flood out your window!
    Shitstain is my favorite but motherfucker runs a very close second!
    And now the million dollar question…Elvis or Beatles?


    Maybe the Victorian undergarments thing is related to the Hot Dead Guys…. Or you had a blast in a Victorian past life and subconsciously miss it…. I have a hard enough time with today’s undergarments when they’re uncomfortable. I cannot imagine wearing corsets, stays, petticoats, and God knows what else. Imagine the hot flashes for the poor women going through menopause!


      I know! Those poor things, no wonder they had fainting couches all over the place. And you’re right, I do have a thing for hot dead Victorians, the one in particular, of course. If I were around then, I’d have a hard time keeping my corsets and petticoats on, with all those hot guys.


    Sadly, I cant see the you tube video for some reason. My daughter is all kinds of double jointed and it freaks people out. I would love to hear your jazz composition one day. Fuck is my all-time favorite word but motherfucker is a close second or third. It was cool learning those things about you. Love you Weebly. xo


      Double jointedness is such a wacky thing, isn’t it? There’s something that sort of pings in your brain when you see someone bending their joints in ways they don’t ordinarily go. Hugs & stuff to you, Mistress!


    Motherfucker is my fav too. It’s just so succinct.


    Mushroom ice cream?? Vomit. The end.


    I really disliked honey too until I got pregnant and craved it all the time. This is by no means an endorsement of getting pregnant so you can enjoy the joys of honey, though. ;)


      it’s so funny what things women crave or find repulsive during pregnancy—some women I know who ordinarily LOVE coffee couldn’t stand even the smell of it when they were pregnant. Hormones are such zany things. So now that you’re not pregnant anymore, do you still like it or are you back to your pre-partum feelings?


        I still really like it. It’s the weirdest thing. Pregnancy can change so much strange stuff about you. I’ve even heard of women losing most of their hair postpartum, and it grows back a completely different color.


          Now that’s weird. I never heard of women losing their hair after pregnancy. Although I’ve heard about the different hair color/texture thing from women who lost their hair during chemo. Mother Nature is one twisted broad.


    I like motherfucker, but the more I think about it, the more it doesn’t really sound like an insult? I prefer “cocksucker” — that sounds much more demeaning


    well I love Lucy too…hate pistachios but love the ice cream… I don’t play the piano but I can play Malaguena and I composed a romantic song on the piano that I can still pick out. I played the violin for 4 years but never leaned to read music…that backfired on me in the 6th grade when I was made first violin in the all school orchestra and I had a solo. So we have even more in common than I suspected Madame


    Fanfuckingtastic list of quirky things we didn’t know about you. Somewhere I have a beautiful book on the history of corsets and bras. I should send it to you, I’m trying to downsize all my stuff before it falls and crushes me.
    I watched that video it is really that kids shoulders that hyper-extend.


      Thanks Draconian! A book on corsets and bras? Oooh. There are a few books I’ve seen on the history of underthings, some of them have gorgeous photos. You may well be right about the kid’s shoulders vs elbows, I had a hard time looking closely enough to tell, so you’re braver than I am. :)


    What’s the best practical joke you ever did?


      There have been a lot of good ones, but my favorite one is from college–one of my good friends down the hall used to stay at the library until really late. So I decided to do something to fuck with her when she came home. I put a note on her door saying “Look under the phone at the end of the hallway.” I put another note under the phone at the end of the hallway saying, “Look behind the mirror over the sink in the bathroom nearest the door.” I put other notes in a bunch of different places in our dorm, requiring her to go all over the place to hunt down these notes. The final note said, “Congratulations! You’ve just been sent on a wild goose chase for NO REASON!”

      The next morning I woke up to discover that she had TP’d my door shut. Good times.


    Pistachio ice cream rules…but no honey???? Oh, man….that’s a motherfucking shame.


    I’m with Mr Weebles on the elbows. That reads as alarming and I haven’t seen it. My wife likes I love Lucy too. She has some on DVD.

    It’s a shame we cannot hear your jazz song :)


    i liked this! it’s like peeking in your closet and rooting around in your dresser with your permission!

    regarding practical jokes? it is that shared quirk that makes me think i’m going to love working in my new office – job switch starts in a few weeks. went to visit my new boss, and stopped outside her door to pick up a quarter. as i bent to retrieve it, i said “Hey! Found a quarter!”. She said “No you didn’t. Sorry.” It’s superglued to the floor.

    apparently a woman who recently retired left a few of these glued down outside some of the offices. provides endless entertainment, apparently. my plan is to come in at night, knock one loose with a crow bar and replace the coin. when i come in the next morning, make a show of saying “Hey, i found a quarter”, bend down, pick it up, pocket it, and walk away…


      They have a quarter superglued to the floor??? That is all kinds of awesome. I would love working at a place like that. Your plan to knock them loose is terrific–I love gags like that. Let us know if there are any other good pranks that go on there!


    I feel you need to post a picture of these magic elbows of yours.
    What is your biggest phobia? Mine is ghosts.and choking.on food/pills.
    I think your love of bloomers and obsolete instruments makes you old-timey. Like you should be wearing a monocle, and writing letters with an ostrich feather.
    Who’s your best friend (other than your husband)?
    If I open an animal refuge one day, will you come and help?


      Now I’m worried that I may have oversold the elbow thing, since my elbows don’t hyperextend nearly as much as the kid in the video, or as much as La La’s do. But it’s enough to gross out Mr. Weebles, and that’s really all I need. I think monocles are cool but I’d need two of them because I’m blind as a bat. So that would sort of ruin the whole look. I don’t write with ostrich feathers but I do use fountain pens almost exclusively because I LOVE them. So that’s pretty old-timey.

      My biggest phobia, aside from this is probably heights. I don’t like them.

      I’m very lucky to have a few really close friends, rather than one single best friend, which is really great. And YES YES YES I will help with the animal refuge!!


      Also, I meant to ask: have you ever seen a ghost, and is that why you’re scared of them? They don’t scare me. I’ve seen and heard some, but they’ve all been pretty benign experiences. I suppose if I encountered a not-nice one, that would be a different story…


    I also love pistachios – but I like the nuts, the pudding & the ice cream. I cry like a little baby if I even think there may be an animal hurt. So we have a couple things in common. Liked getting to know you better!


    I’m curious, do you use q-tips? If so, do you keep it on the outer rim, or do you dare get into the canal? I find a little tickle near the eardrum to be exquisite myself.


    The more I get to know about you, the more I want to take a hit out on Mr. Weebles.

    I want to know if Prius drivers makes you as crazy as they do me. Seriously…do they just have an aversion to get places?


      Mr. Weebles is cool—I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I stepped out with you.

      I don’t have a driver’s license, so I can’t say that Prius drivers annoy me—but only because I don’t really encounter them. However, if I *did* drive, I’m pretty sure I’d want to fit out my car with missiles so I could fire at them. I get the whole hybrid/ecology thing, but for fuck’s sake.


    What do I know about you?
    You love cats (all else is forgiven)
    You’re funny
    You’re kind.
    That’ll do right now… one day I’ll tell you about the Natural History Channel story about the chimpanzee that lost his mum too soon… how he made himself a nest in the trees… and, despite the rest of the troop trying to help him… starved himself to death…
    How me and Rick sobbed together…. over a … monkey… and how I knew then, that I would love this man forever. Despite the fact we make each other crazy.
    He loves cats too.
    You’d like him… or you’d want to smack him. – he gets me that way…


      I’m heartsick just reading about that poor monkey. I would have been a basketcase watching a story about him on television. Poor baby. Your Rick is a good man—that’s the acid test, when they care about animals. But of course you want to smack him—that’s what spouses are for, Janet! :D


    Madame, this is a great idea. You can talk about yourself anytime. It’s all right with me. I love all the Seinfeld episodes, too. I’m wondering is Reiki painful? I’ve always wanted to have it done.


      Reiki is absolutely not painful–no needles, no nothing! Just energy. Even acupuncture, which *does* use needles, isn’t painful. But reiki works in a different way from acupuncture, although the overall principle is the same—improving the flow of energy through the body and allowing you to heal whatever needs healing. Holler if you ever want to try it—I’ll do a session on you. It works by distance too. :)


    Victorian undies are pretty and comfortable. A corset is like a bra. Buy a good one that fits and it feels good. You don’t think about it all day. Buy a crap one and you can hardly wait to get home and rip that puppy off. Also, it depends on how tight you lace a corset. I think the super tight corsets were reserved for special occassions (or proffessions). The odd woman may have worn her corset super tight all the time because she wanted to say, “Look at me. I must be rich. I can’t do anything for myself like this so I hire people to look after me.” But, the girl she hired to wash the floor was wearing a corset too. Hers was loose enough that she could get down on all fours, do the work, get back up again and haul the pail of water out.


    Two things:

    First: As a big ape movie expert, I can assert that Mighty Joe Young lives happily ever after. King Kong and his much more pleasant son don’t fare as well, however. So, yes, stay away from those.

    Second: I want you to consider being one half of what would surely be the best harpsichord/banjo band in the world. No need to answer now. Sleep on it.


    I too am an only child. Yeah, it can be lonely, but Christmas is the motherfucking bomb.

    I also like ‘motherfucker’ as a curse word. You know the antidote is the following “Motherfucker, motherfucker I may be, but the mother I fuck ain’t kin to me.”

    I’m okay with portabellos, but then I’ve got some experience eating strange mushrooms.


      Isn’t Christmas as an only child THE BEST??? I fucking cleaned up every year. My friends with siblings were always so envious. I was not aware of that Motherfucker curse antidote–since I’m not gay, it’s not quite as applicable to me, but it’s certainly still helpful to know. And something tells me portobellos don’t give quite the same high as other mushrooms do.


    Have you ever tried to pee standing up? I have. It wasn’t pretty.


    I, too, cry during movies/shows when people hurt animals. Don’t watch the newer Planet of the Apes (with James Franco). I was throwing things at the TV while rooting for the scientifically advanced apes to take over the world. I probably shouldn’t watch those types of films anymore!


      I know how you feel, Jean, believe me. I had the same problem with Starship Troopers, where the humans are taunting the aliens. It really upset me. I guess we should stick to tamer stuff, eh?


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    than many of the games where you just run around randomly shooting at things.
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