So what’d I miss?

May 12, 2014 — 192 Comments

Good morning, friends!! How the fuck are you? I have missed you all THIS MUCH (outstretch your arms on either side of you and measure the amount of much between your hands).

As many of you may recall, I have a touch of insomnia. I went to bed one night, hoping that I would be able to fall asleep quickly. When I woke up, it was May. Remind me not to mix Nyquil with my gin anymore. It’s delicious and has a lovely color, but it packs a greater wallop than I expected.

So anyway, since I’ve been awake I’ve been catching up on everything that’s happened since January. I had no idea the world was in such turmoil. It’s so sad to hear about current events, and it’s chilling to see how history is repeating itself. For crying out loud, did Gwyneth Paltrow learn nothing from her time with Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck?

Not much is new with me, aside from feeling really well rested and having especially unappealing bed head. Oh, but get this [Editor’s note: Shameless bragging coming up]: While I was sleeping, I was selected as one of BlogHer’s Voices of the Year, for this post—which, by the way, was also Freshly Pressed!

You may recognize some other names on the list of BlogHer’s Voices of the Year, so let’s stand and give them all a round of applause. Seriously, stand up. You over there, I see you. Get your ass out of that chair, bro. Don’t make me come over there.

For those of you who have joined us since that Freshly Pressed post, a hearty welcome! Please help yourself to a drink. We’re out of Nyquil mixer, though.

And to all of you, sorry I’ve been asleep for so long. But you’d be surprised how easily a batch of Nyquil & gin shooters goes down. I’m still catching up on replying to comments but I’ll get to you all very shortly.

Now enough about me. Tell me about you. What’s new with you? What have you been doing for the past 4 months? How do you feel? You know I care deeply about your welfare.

Next up: Something Blue, Something Red, Something Hot, Something Dead. I think you know what I’m talking about.

192 responses to So what’d I miss?


    Oh sweet holy jesus. Welcome the fuck back, Madame Weebles! I have MISSED you. And congratulations on the BlogHer nod. I’m having a double nyquil mixer on you right now.

    And bring on the hot and dead, I say.


      Nadia, Nadia, Nadia. Your kitty photos sustained me through a cold, cold winter. I am very glad to see you too, girlfriend. How the fuck are you, anyway?

      Plenty of Hot ‘n’ Dead coming up!


        What can I say, cats with middle fingers remind me of you.

        Still alive, still kicking and eating ice cream out of the tub. I took a bit of a hiatus too, unfortunately not spent in a Nyquil haze, but have been back for a while now staining WP’s pages.

        Truly glad to see you here.


    Well it’s about time lady! Congrats on the BlogHer nomination :) You want to know what’s been happening for the last 4 months? Let’s see now, probably best expressed like this –

    Aagghh!!!… Ooohhh….Eek!…. OMG…. Hahahaha!!!… WTF?!….. Awwww…. Wait…. What?!!!!…. Fiiiiiine! ….Snigger… Hurrah!… Oh no…. Whatever… Yep… WHY?!… Yep…. Oh… Uh oh!… :)

    So all pretty normal really. Welcome back!


    Glad to see you back!


    She’s alive! Welcome back. And ahem, I believe I singled out that post for high praise before any of those other cats did… Congratulations though.

    I have no idea what you’re referring to, but I’m looking forward to the next post.


    Congrats! Glad to have you and your wit back. Stay a while.


    well fuck me, glad you’re back.


    I was wondering what had become of you. My three views a week on my blog had dwindled to two for months! Welcome back and I look forward to seeing my weekly count increase by 33%! Wow. Too many exclamation marks. I must be really excited.


    I could really go for a 4 month nap… Can you send me your recipe for Nyquil and Gin shooters? And, are they strong enough to sleep through a screaming baby?


    Weebs! As it often does in such times, my psychic abilities kicked in last week and I was thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. So good to see you up and about! I’ve been busy working on a new project – I’m doing some art shows this summer and selling my photography, have a new website, new business cards, etc. Very exciting! Looking forward to new posts from you, sista!


      Cathy, my friend! Your psychic senses may also have been picking up on the fact that I was thinking, “I wonder how Cathy is doing, I need to drop her an email.” Which of course I haven’t done yet. But I was thinking about you! I am very glad you’re doing well, congratulations on your new photography venture, that’s very exciting! Will send you a note soon, chickie.


    The Sapphire gin with the Nyquil was a nice touch. Very colorful.


      Wasn’t it? Did you like the little blue umbrella I put in the drink? I thought it looked really nice. It’s too bad I passed out before I could really take it all in. Also, thanks for cleaning up all the drool and for turning me every so often so I didn’t get bedsores. You’re the best husband ever.


    Glad to see you here in the hither and thither lands with us again. Last four months? Oh, you know me, I’m the ‘cheery, sweet’ one, as writerfellow keeps telling me. I keep finding the things that keep me awake and happy, despite the tendency to do neither. It’s called self-preservation.
    But your Nyquil and gin sound really really good…




    I thought about ya the other day and its nice to see ya back! Uhm i dunno whats new with me I dont have indigestion or shingles so that’s going for me


    What up, my Weebly concubine? Myself, my thighs and my eternal burning passion have missed you.



    It’s so nice to have you back among the living preparing to write about the dead.

    You must be a bit peckish after such a Rip Van Winkle. Scone?


    There you are!

    I like you have been off here a bit, lazy posting but still reading when I can. Leaving my treasured Camden Town took so time but am settled in a great flat in the suburbs and been busy furnishing it, only 12 minutes away on the tube and a 10 minute bus, so it’s not really that bad, but I do miss the crawling distance from the pubs.

    I finally got my USA visa, runs out in December but planning to head over to California for my first toe dip into the States, it’ll be warmer when I can make it there, sorry NYC! That’ll be on my next visa when I can muster a gang of us to go over.

    Anyway, enough about me! I bet you wish you hadn’t asked.


      JOE!! You know, even though I’ve been asleep all this time, I slept in black in solidarity with you, mourning the loss of your beloved Camden. However, I’m very happy to hear that you’re settled into the new flat, and that the commute hasn’t been too bad. What area are you in again? Tufnell Park? I feel like that’s wrong, but for some reason that’s what popped into my head.

      Mazel tov on the visa, although everyone here is wallowing in despair because of your choosing California over us. Hmmph.


        I wish it was only Tufnell Park. Am in Muswell Hill, it’s where people go to pop out babies and clog the streets with pushchairs.

        Soz NYC, next time :-)


          Muswell Hill! Right. Tufnell Park, Muswell Hill, they’re sort of, kind of alike sounding, if you’re still working off a Nyquil hangover. Your area sounds like the area I live in. We call those folks the Stroller Mafia. It’s not pretty. If only there were an area where everyone had cats and took them out for strolls. THAT would be heaven.


    Weebs –

    Did you hear that? The blogosphere just took a great big sigh of relief. SO glad you awoke from your Nyquil coma and have rejoined the living!! Blue, red, hot, dead – it’s all good. Just keep those fingers typing!!

    And congrats on the BlogHer’s award!! I would go on and on about how excited I am for you, but I think I’ve already exceeded my exclamation point quota for today. Oh fuck it….. YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!

    Take care,
    Linda (JKLMNOP)


      Linda!!! Fuckin’ A (through P), girl! How are you? How’s life in your neck of the woods? It’s a nice day today, isn’t it. If the weather could stay like this and get NO WARMER, I’d be a happy camper. But enough about the weather. I’m so glad to see you! I know you’ve had a rough time, how are things?


    She still breathes. Yay! Congrats on the BlogHer win, though it’s no surprise to me you’d be on that list. They know a good thing when they see it!

    Nothing new with me. Just four months older since the last time you posted. Probably a new wrinkle or spot since then, too.

    crankygiraffe May 12, 2014 at 10:43 am

    Hello Weebles! I’m so glad you’re back! I was certainly beginning to worry about you and I am ever so relieved that you were only just sleeping. I’m looking forward to hearing about all your wild and crazy dreams (if you’ll write about them). Life has been crazy over here for this Giraffe, but then again, I’m pretty sure life has been crazy everywhere!
    Welcome back!


      Wassup, Cranky G? Alas, I don’t recall any juicy or exciting dreams. Maybe I’ll get some more Nyquil and try again. I hope life has been good for you, even if crazy. And thanks!


    Welcome back to the waking world (such as it is) and a big Hup Hey! on the award. Very glad you aten’t ded.


      Howdy sir! I too am glad I’m not dead. That would be a shame. But if I were dead, I’d bequeath to you all my pens and inks. Speaking of which, what are your thoughts on the Stipula Blue?


        I’ve a poorly thought-out couplet in that inky topic:

        Ah, yes, the Stipula Blue;
        It doesn’t like me as much as it does you.

        I’ve managed to make a sample of it look desperately washed out on my site, which makes me think that it has some specific pen and paper demands. A temperamental Italian is not a surprising discovery, though, and I am enjoying it… intermittently. What I should do is stick it into a Stipula pen and see how we get along.


          That’s a shame, I am ensaddened by this news. But I like your couplet. Messrs Shakespeare and Pope would be suitably impressed, I’m sure. I find that the combo of Clairefontaine paper, my Pelikan M625 with a stub, and the Stipula Blue, is excellent. But I would be interested to know how the ink performs in a Stipula pen. One would hope it would behave properly.


    Out of NyQuil? OUT OF NYQUIL?! Awww, this just ruins my Siesta de Mayo celebration. ;)


    Well, the Seahawks won the Super Bowl…and that was about it. it’s been a boring 2014.


    Congratulations and welcome back – had only just started following you and then you fell asleep. What does that say??? :)


    Hey, welcome back! I missed you! And congratulations on the BlogHer Voice of the Year.

    Four months? Four months have passed? Argh. No wonder my fingernails seemed so much longer. Honest, it’s the only way I notice the passage of time – when my fingernails get too long to type comfortably, I know another couple of weeks have passed. Clip ’em off to nothing, then repeat. And repeat.

    I’m really hoping to finish Book 8 in my series this week and get my life back…


      Dayyum, Diane, 8 books already?? And I haven’t even read the first of yours yet, which I have to rectify. And no shit about the fingernails, I clipped mine first thing this morning because they were annoying me, they grow like weeds. I mark the passage of time by fingernail and hair growth. When the grey roots make me look like I’m wearing a halo, I know that about a month or so has gone by.


    You are the voice of my lifetime, not just the year. I’ll send you a trophy as soon as I fashion it. I am just having Lars put another coat of glaze on it.


      You are the apple of my eye, the wind beneath my wings, the icing on my cupcake, and the umbrella in my drink (my non-Nyquil drink). I’m glad you’ve got Lars on the job, Sven isn’t quite as good with the metallurgy. He’s got a great ass, though.


    Welcome back, Madame! There has definitely been a void without your hilarious words! I hope you can get some new Nyquil soon (my husband is addicted to the stuff too). Congratulations on the BlogHer’s recognition! I remember that pressed post very well. :) Looking forward to your next posts. What’s new with me? Counting the days ’till my empty nest! :)


      Good afternoon, Brickhouse Chick! You are most kind. So how many days until the empty nest, and what do you plan to do in celebration?


        August 20th will be “D” day. Just typing that date gives me the shakes. I am actually going to cry my eyes out!! My babies will be gone! :( But after I cry, I plan on running around the house naked and swearing like a sailor! Mr. Brickhouse is anxiously awaiting this day. :)


    I just refreshed this page until something happened.


    Nice to see your avatar around the blogosphere again. Congrats on the BlogHer shoutout- it is so deserved! Although one wonders if it would make any difference to the selection committee that your unfortunate Nyquil addiction has reached the Rip Van Winkle level.


      Greetings, Peg, and thanks! I’m sure there’s some sort of morality clause in the BlogHer rules and regulations, I haven’t checked, but you’re probably right. Maybe I should have just stuck with my original plan, just straight gin. I’ll know for next time, at least.


    Welcome back, my blogging friend! Here’s some chocolate; I hear it’s a great remedy for post-Nyquil-mixer hangover haze.


    Fucking hell. I’m sober. I’m unmedicated. So I can’t be seriously seeing this. Maybe I should have a fucking drink and take stock of me mental faculties, then burn them in the slag pile out back and dance naked around the flames while inhaling… funny that word, inhaling. Sober sucks ass! But Weebles… Weebles does not suck ass. So that makes for a good Monday, any day that does not involve sucking ass is a good day for fuck’s sake! Forgive the language. What is this next post you talk of? I don’t understand. Dumb fucking Trent. Just post it and let’s have it, and welcome back Weebles, this joint wasn’t the same without you, truly and truly so.


    Holy smokes! They make Day Quil. It’s orange and probably not as much fun, or dangerous.


    Weebs, you know I have missed you terribly!!!! So good to see you back here. Things are still shakin’ so I’m not dead, but I do look forward to hearing about dead things. And my guess is you’re feeling patriotic? I’m glad you feel rested. Good for you! Your Honeybee x


      Honeybee! Not so much patriotic, it’s just that I couldn’t think of anything else suitable to rhyme with “Dead” in that rhyming meter. At any rate, Hot Dead Men are a good thing, patriotic or no. I’m also very glad you’re not dead, of course—shake that thang, girl.


    Woohoo! Weebs is back! :) :) :)

    And I’ve broken my recently self-imposed read-blogs-only-on-Wednesdays schedule to celebrate. Four months finds me … well … still slogging on the WIPs and trying to find my writing mojo again. I think I may have caught a few glimpses of it recently, so maybe I’m catching up to it….

    You bet I’m looking forward to that next post of yours!


      JM! *hug* A certain Josiah Kent will be included in this next installment, it’s long overdue! Good to know you’ve had sightings of your writing mojo, I’m sure more will be forthcoming. And I need to read up on everything of yours that I’ve missed in the meantime.


        Spooky interaction at a distance! Okay, I’m borrowing the physics phrase for a non-scientific purpose. But Josiah Kent and Meghan Bode have been figuring prominently in my thoughts recently. ;) So now both Meghan and I are chomping at the bit for your next post! And one Josiah Kent is sipping from a silver flask as he tries to appear oh-so-nonchalant about the honor. ;)


    Well holy dump. Same shit, different day here, Weebs. Glad you’re back.


    Welcome the fuck back, Weebs! And congratulations. If only you could thank those three prats who “inspired” you to write the winning post — wouldn’t that piss them off beyond belief? Sometimes life is just soooooooo delicious!


    Congrats! Good to have you back. :) I was worried there for a bit that you might not come back. Life is mostly good. Can’t complain. It’s a bit warm here today…but other than that right as the rain. Looking forward to posts from you again. :)


    Ay Weebs, welcome back! Thank you very much for your comment at one of Cimmy’s blogs– she really appreciated it. Because she’s an audio-visual combo learner sort of gal, she read your comment aloud to me.

    How am I? Well, I wish I could give my pain an Incredible Hulk-style beatdown.


    Welcome back to the land of the (virtual) living! And a big congrats to you on the BlogHer nomination! :D


    You didn’t miss so much. I decided to do some conscious uncoupling with WordPress, but we’re still there for the kids.


    Welcome back! A big congrats on your BlogHer Voice of the Year nod. Excellent post. So glad to hear that you’re well rested, because you’ve missed a bit. Around my neck of the woods, I started working on myself again just about the time you fell asleep. And about a month ago, I found out that my years of (energy) work are now paying off. The vice-like grip (addiction) that a bunch of foods have had on me for my entire life, has been loosed entirely. And just in the nick of time! Looking forward to more of your writing.


      Mazel tov on your excellent news, M2M! I’m going to use you as inspiration: I almost NEVER do reiki on myself, I do it for everyone else but neglect my own energy healing needs. So effective immediately, I’m going to start daily self-reiki. And congratulations on snapping those food addictions, I know how unbelievably hard it is. I suppose I’m not ready and/or willing to completely beat my addiction to carbs, but that’s something I should do eventually. So I’m giving you a high five, lady.


        All I did was transmute some beliefs that no longer served me. And I worked on creating and shoring up personal boundaries (all of this done in hypnosis). Cravings gone! I had to change my eating because my blood sugar was not good. Getting it good now. Daily self-reiki is a wonderful thing- yes! Do it for sure.


    Oh hell, I thought I was the one in a Benadryl and vodka induced coma since I hadn’t seen hide nor hair or you in months!!


    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!! Welcome back. :)


    I almost completely wobbled over with happiness….but fear not, I did not fall down…! Welcome back :)


    So fucking glad to hear your voice again. It’s been so damn quiet around here I’ve actually had to work to pass time at work. Shit. Of course, I’m guilty of being rather quiet myself. One blog has been untouched since January, and the other has only been a weekly post and mostly short fiction.
    Can’t wait to see what you have up your sleeve!


      I get you. it’s tough sometimes to keep up the blogs. You realize, by the way, that your boys will be meeting my boys in a few weeks for a massive Interleague smackdown. Go Yankees!


        I know! So exciting. My boys will be gracious hosts to your boys, but don’t count on us being so nice we let you go home with any wins. ;) Go Cards!


    Congrats, Weebs! So happy to read you again. It’s been way too long. I hope you keep it up, we’ve all missed you. WordPress was turning into a ghost town.


      Darla, my psychic sister. I have missed you too. You know, if it were an ACTUAL ghost town in here, that would be pretty fun. As long as they were nice ghosts, though. Bad ghosts can fuck themselves.


    I’m here for the NyQuil mixer? Hello?


    Congratulations! Nice to read you, as always.


    Once, at a gay pride party, I saw the most amazing queen throw herself off a five-foot stage and land on the floor in a perfect split. Please know that in my mind, I am re-creating this feat as I celebrate your glorious return.

    But seriously, Julie, even Jesus only took three days!


      Yeah, but Jesus wasn’t lazy like me! Do you watch RuPaul’s Drag Race? There are quite a few queens who can do that amazing split, I’ve seen them bust that move when they have to lip sync for their lives. I’d wind up in traction if I tried that shit.


    I was in such a rush to get to the party that I grabbed Dayquil, instead. I’m not enjoying myself as much as I should be. Hmph.


    The kingdom rejoices as Madame Weebles has returned to her subjects *bows ungracefully*


    Hello! Lucky for me, you were featured again today on one of the posts by Michelle at WordPress. Judging by the few posts of yours that I’ve read, I think I might be in love…or at least, very happily infactuated! :)


    Did you bring a note from your mom? No? Never mind. Take a seat.

    So…you disappear for four months doing god knows what (only your hairdresser knows for sure), reappear and you’re immediately rewarded by being FPed. Whatever else is going on under your NJ sky, in here, the sun shines brightly down on you. As unlikely and made-up as this sounds, I thought about you the other day. I put up a post from my Lower East Side journals from 20 years ago and every time I do that, I wonder about you.


      Ahhh, if only real life were as splendid as it is here. But hey, I’ll take it. I walked down my old street not long ago, it’s such a wistful, sad, sweet, poignant feeling. I hate it and love it at the same time.


    Good to see that Daily Digest alert in the in-box Madame Weebles. Congrats on all the awards and Freshly Pressed and what-not, Well deserved of course. In fact, let’s face it, it was High Time. There were rumors of strikes and possibly a riot from your legions of fans if you were denied your rightful accolades.
    Justice has been restored at last.
    Welcome back


    Welcome back …. so here’s a glass of good zin for you … then we’ll get some Graeter’s. Hope you found the Listening Lab. If not, here’s what we did last Sunday.


      Frank! Buongiorno, mi amico! I am absolutely game for some red zin and Graeter’s with you. I did find the Listening Lab and have spent much time checking out a lot of pieces. I wish you could buy the actual songs on the site, rather than just the sheet music. Still, I’m enjoying it. The piece you did on Sunday is really pretty, was it fun to play?


    Oh so nice to see your name come up in the reader! I’ve been on a sort of hiatus as well. I decided to read really intensely, long involved books with endless numbers of volumes one after another. Dorothy Dunnets series-both Niccolo and Lymond also George RR Martin and a quick take down of Dickens later novels. Also I got sick again. Damn it. However there is NOTHING like submersing yourself in a great series to take your mind off of side effects. I’ve surfaced for air now. Summer is coming and it’s sunny out. I found an iris blooming. There’s a mink in the garden and it killed Elvis-my rooster, not the singer. A fucking mink. Have you ever heard of the Chinese curse ‘May you live in interesting times’? So it seems….


    [yawn] Oh, hi! There you are! i’ve been snoozin’ a bit myself… Not due to the Nyquil cocktail – although a shot of Nyquil and a beer was my travel secret to sleeping on redeye flights for a decade of aggressive business travel…. but i ramble. i just woke up. We have great hair…. we should form a club…


    Imagine my dismay, when shortly after pushing the ‘follow’ button, you disappeared. Not to be paranoid or anything. Glad to hear it was just intoxicants, followed by a long snooze. Congratulations on your BlogHer award, and getting Fresh Pressed. My faith is renewed. Welcome back.


    Glad you’re back! Congrats on voice of the year!

    I had the munchkin…she has adorable chipmunk cheeks!


    Praise be, she’s back!! ;) <3


    Well I won the world in a game of snap but had to hand it back coz I got caught cheating, and then I stubbed my toe on a chair; that’s been about it really; they keep wanting to Freshly Press me but I say no because I made that bit up; I thought the apocalypse was coming but it must have been your snoring, so tomorrow I’m taking the bunker down and burning the remains of the goat…hope the weather’s nice.


    You’re back! In the last four months I’ve taken to Vodka shots (the water of my people) and I published a novel. Maybe if were laying off the Vodka I wouldn’t have accidentally published it three weeks early. Seriously, Madame, I hope you are well. xox, V


    Well, well, well… look what happens when I get overwhelmed and fall way behind in blog reading!! Then try to catch up… My Weebs is back, and I missed it, before the bazillion other comments and likes. Geez, really! I blog every week and never get that many!! See, you are loved and missed darlin’, and we need… NEED… you back here. Welcome back my dear Madame. Giant hugs and smooches, and a happy dance… for real. xo


    Hey, you’re back! Wish I could remember something that happened in the last four months but I have enough trouble with yesterday, which was…. I think it has to do with my medication. Nyquil and bourbon would be my choice.


    I am sure you must have already received this, but here goes —
    I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award! From the first post I read I was hooked, I love your writing and your voice. =]
    Check out what to do next here:


    Avid you’re gone again… sigh.
    How is your mom?
    Ps. I suspect you are still in touch with Le Clown. Please give him a big hug from me. I understand there was some controversy – I missed it all. But, I loved him on here and he left a very sweet comment for me once.
    I miss him, and I miss you.


    Okay, Madame Weebles 183 comments must tell you that you are truly missed when you’re gone. I’ve been gone too, but I’m back and hoping to hear more from the best @!%*&# blogger on the web. Laurel


    You suck. Just kidding. I’m bored. You’re gone. There must be a relationship here.


    Just letting you know your post from the other day is coming up errors and can’t be read. You can’t make comments either. Not sure if this was your doing or WordPresses. :(


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