Catwoman vs Cat Lady

Madame Weebles —  July 26, 2012 — 148 Comments

We saw The Dark Knight Rises this weekend.  It was awesome.

After the movie Mr. Weebles and I talked about Catwoman.  I was underwhelmed by Anne Hathaway’s performance but Mr. Weebles liked her. (There’s a shocker.)

Then we got to discussing “Catwoman” and “Cat Lady.”  Both are used to describe females with a feline association, but they have very, very different connotations indeed.

Halle Berry as Catwoman. You’re welcome.

Catwoman conjures up a certain image and attitude, whether she’s the original cartoon version, or whether she’s played by Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry, or Anne Hathaway.  Catwoman is sexy, bad, sly, and very agile.

Cat Lady, on the other hand, is not what you’d call sexy.  She likes cats so she can’t possibly be bad.  She’s probably not very sly.

There but for the grace of God go I.

And if she’s agile, it’s only because she needs to be to avoid constantly tripping over Muffin, Babykins, Whiskers, Sir Floof, Mittens, Stripey McStriperson, Arianna Fluffington, Blacky, Chairman Meow, Buttons, and Mrs. Puff.

Should you find yourself in the unenviable position of not knowing whether a female of your acquaintance is Catwoman or Cat Lady, here is a quick guide for your reference:

Catwoman:  Wears an exotic perfume, something like Shalimar or Opium.
Cat Lady:  Wears a heady mix of catnip, Febreze, and tuna juice.

Catwoman:  Her wardrobe has a lot of leather, rubber, and thigh-high boots with stiletto heels.
Cat Lady:  Her wardrobe has a lot of bathrobes, sweats, and ratty slippers, all liberally covered in cat fur.

Catwoman:  A wild animal in the bedroom.
Cat Lady:  Has a lot of animals in her bedroom, but none of them wild. Except for that time Mittens thought Cat Lady’s vibrator was an intruder.

Catwoman:  She’ll cut you and you’ll never even feel it.
Cat Lady:  She’ll apologize profusely for the scratches inflicted by Buttons, he was just playing!

Catwoman:  Speaks in a throaty, seductive growl.
Cat Lady:  “Who’s a good baby? You are! Yes you are! Oh yes you are.”

148 responses to Catwoman vs Cat Lady

  1. 

    Dear weebles,
    You ROCK!!!!!
    SOOOOOO funny!
    Anne was…interesting in this role.
    I can’t keep thinking of her in the Ella Enchanted role.
    So.
    I am STILL LAUGHING!!!!
    Love,
    Lis

  2. 

    hard to mix the two up with your great definitions

  3. 

    Just wondering….are all of your cats upper-middle class? So many of them sound so very proper.

  4. 

    Heh heh heh. I am SO both of those lady women, thank you very much!

  5. 

    Oh, gosh, I LOVED this!!!! My snorts of laughter could be heard far and wide!

  6. 

    I’m happy to say I don’t fall into either of these categories, but what a handy checklist to have. :)

    We really liked the movie as well. In fact, I thought Anne Hathaway’s character had some great one-liners.

  7. 

    Oh what a good laugh! I’m thinking you should come up with seven more examples and make a calendar out of it!

  8. 

    Great post! And yes, loved the movie and Anne Hathaway’s performance too.

  9. 

    Absolutely hilarious! God love a cat lady.

    I enjoyed the name Chairman Meow–I imagined him in a business suit, being professional. He is strictly business.

  10. 

    Maybe I’m a bit of both, but alas I’m a dog person, but what woman wouldn’t want that slick Catwoman costume?? I have to admit I never planned to see this movie in the first place because I’ve never really been a fan of those comic book, adventure-type movies but that’s just me. Maybe when it comes out on DVD, I’ll see what all the fuss is about (or not).

    But I LOVED your hilarious descriptions, Madame — now that’s worth “watching” reading. :).

    • 

      Thanks Brigitte!! And you speak truth about that costume. Seriously, if I could look like that in that Catwoman costume I’d wear it everywhere. It might look strange at the supermarket but I doubt I’d care.

      The movies are really good, even if you aren’t generally a fan. If you do watch them on DVD, though, start with the first one and watch them in sequence. It will make much more sense that way. :)

  11. 

    Thank GOD for this comparative analysis. I’ve been really confused by my neighbor across the street who walks her cat every morning on some kind of an S&M-inspired leash in five-inch stilettos. Now I totally get it.

  12. 

    I’m deathly allergic to cats. This post was so spot-on, it made me sneeze!

  13. 

    I shall stay away from both of them, I think.

  14. 

    Hahaha! Funniest post I’ve read all day. What I wouldn’t give to have casual conversations with you and Mr. Weebles. (Because these are the kinds of things my friends and I somehow end up discussing and people think we’re nuts.)

  15. 

    You picked some great cats names.
    They are almost TOO good…

  16. 
    Fish Out of Water July 26, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    I can’t stop laughing! I’m definitely more cat lady than cat woman.

  17. 

    The proverbial “Cat Lady.” One wakes up one fine day, after the sure and steady accumulation of furry friends and has a realization, “Crap, I am, the neighborhood Cat Lady!” ‘Febreeze and tuna juice’ — bahahahahaaa!! I’m sorry to hear about Anne Hathaway, I have a girl crush on her. I thought I might see this movie as well. A friend of mine said it’d be hard because they’re mostly sold out — now since you’ve seen it, I’ll look into it again… Thanks for another clever and hilarious post! I look forward to coming in here!

    • 

      Thanks Sandee! You know I’m always so happy to see you here! I always thought I would be that Cat Lady, frankly. I was always pretty certain that this would be my fate. As it is, I have 3 cats now. So it’s a slippery slope from here.

      And you may well enjoy Anne in this—I seem to be in the minority on this. She rocks the outfit pretty well, although I still prefer Halle in that Catwoman suit.

  18. 
    A gripping life July 26, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    Oh, I love this post, so cute and clever in one. My favorite part is the list of cat names. Stripy mcStriperson and Chairman Meow are the best. All in all, I’d hate to admit it but i’m way more cat lady.

    • 

      Me too, Grippy. I thought of the name Arianna Fluffington as a cat name many years ago and I was a lot more tickled by it than I should have been. And the fur on my clothes from my 3 cats would suggest that I don’t have far to go before I’m a full-blown Cat Lady.

  19. 

    Thank heaven for Febreze. Before it existed, Eau de Cat Lady consisted of catnip, tuna juice, and cat piss. There’s nothing in the known universe that can overcome that smell.

    I’ve been Cat Lady, so I think I’d like to be Catwoman now. Wonder if those leather pants come in “control-top”…

    • 

      Ain’t that the truth, Diane!! And your idea of control-top leather pants is fucking genius.

      • 

        Control top leather pants. I’d like to add that to my Shopping List please. You can even keep the a/c pillow.

        (Yes, it’s late, no I can’t sleep. Yes I’m blog stalking…)

        Complete 180 for Anne in her upcoming Les Miz role.

        • 

          Isn’t that a great idea, about the control top leather pants? I’ll add that to your list. I know what you mean about blog stalking when you can’t sleep. I do it too. I’ve heard Anne is pretty good in Les Miz, actually.

  20. 

    Great post. I must admit that Eartha Kitt is my favorite Cat Woman.

  21. 

    Ahh, that laugh felt REALLY good! xoxoM

  22. 

    My favorite was the second to last. I think because I could totally see a cat lady defending her stupid violent cat.

    Great post!

  23. 

    Reading this, I jumped straight to Kathleen Turner in the Romancing The Stone films. I know many cat ladies and not one catwoman. Perhaps I should get out more.

    • 

      To be honest, Kate, I’m not sure I’d want to be friends with a Catwoman. I’m not sure she’d really be BFF material. I forgot about Kathleen Turner and the Romancing the Stone movies. “Joan Wilder?? THE Joan Wilder??”

  24. 

    I am “cat girl” – not quite woman, not quite lady, but a peculiar hybrid of the two.

  25. 

    Now I know the difference! Hey did you know that Catwoman’s alter ego is a Cat lady? Catwoman by night – Cat lady by daylight. So maybe you too can be both! :)

  26. 

    Mmm… Julie Newmar for me, although that pic of Halle got my attention. have you seen the “Crazy Cat Lady Action Figures”? http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Crazy-Cat-Lady-Action-Figure.html

    i believe she even comes with Stripey McStriperson and close version of Mr.Floof.

  27. 

    absolutely fabulous M Weebles… very funny stuff here.

  28. 

    …taking notes…

    Also, slight but important clarification: Cat Lady’s wardrobe includes lots of Tweety Bird sweats covered in fur. Also, her loo is well-stocked with People and old Finger Hut catalogs. The same can probably not be said for Catwoman.

    • 

      YES. You are correct, sir! I’m thinking Catwoman’s literary choices are probably a little more exotic. Baudelaire, the Story of O, the Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog, etc etc.

  29. 

    This took me a while to determine, but I think I would rather be cat lady…I really love cats and pajamas.

  30. 

    Oh, yeah. Loved it!

  31. 

    I’ve really never understood why people think Anne Hathaway is attractive.

    Poor Cat Lady! But you know what, “Catwoman” is one of the few times “woman” is used in a sexy way. Usually when people think a woman is sexy they call her a “girl.” So basically, I’m glad it’s Catwoman and not Catgirl.

  32. 

    Ladies & gents, THAT is what I call creative and witty! I suppose given the two choices, I would probably go with the catwoman. But even that is not a pleasing thought…lol

  33. 

    Julie Newmar was definitely the best Catwoman, although Eartha Kitt was pretty awesome simply because she’s Eartha Kitt.

    I’m only three or four cats short of full on cat lady. I do have the “liberally coated in cat fur” thing down. I’m pretty sure there’s cat hair in places in my home that the cats have never actually gotten to. After a while, that stuff doesn’t need cats to exist; it just breeds all by itself.

    • 

      I suspect you’re right, Purple—even when I just had one cat, that stuff just seemed to procreate on its own. I mean, how do fluffs of cat fur wind up in closets and cabinets?? I think they become sentient, quite frankly.

      I’m not far from full-on cat lady either. I’ve got 3, and they’ve adorned my entire wardrobe with fur. Fortunately, they’re black & white and tabby, so they’re neutral colors that go with everything.

  34. 

    Brilliant analogies, I wish I could have more cats but no room so I asked to volunteer at the cat rehoming centre – no reply!

    • 

      No reply??? WTF?? How could a rehoming place not roll out the red carpet for volunteers?? Maybe you should email back and say your name is Josephine. If they think you’re a Cat Lady that might give you more street cred with them.

  35. 

    THANK YOU OH THANK YOU for clearing that up :)
    I was totally confused….

  36. 

    As for furniture…
    Catwoman: Cool, tubular steel and black leather Modernist chairs.
    Catlady: A comfortable sofa with the arms all scratched and loopy, imperfectly cleaned up sick stains, and hair everywhere.

  37. 

    Well, that clears up that mystery. Now, if only I could tell the difference between a hoarder and an ‘antique collector’ I’d be all set….

    • 

      There’s a difference?? ;) Those hoarders on those shows amaze me. They truly do think they’re “antique collectors.” I’m pretty sure if I went to an antique dealer to have them appraise a 20-year-old jar of mayonnaise, they wouldn’t have any trouble telling me the difference between hoarding and collecting.

      • 

        Hahha….so true. And that cast iron pot with George Washington’s baked beans still stuck on the bottom ain’t a historical artifact…:)

  38. 

    Ha!

    And I didn’t think Annie was all that great at Catwoman.

  39. 

    Great humor for my morning. Meanwhile, i look forward to Anne Hathaway in the cat suit … but better than Halle or Michelee? hmmmmmmm …

  40. 

    damn, isn’t halle hot in that role? i would commit crimes just to be busted by her

  41. 
    whiteladyinthehood July 27, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Very Funny!!! (and laughin’ at Kyle’s comment – I’ve always thought Halle Berry was beautiful, she was a knock-out in that Bond movie, too) I have not seen the movie, yet – I’m glad you say it was awesome (I think Christain Bale is a hottie)

  42. 

    Oooh Shalimar! I am quite envious of Catwoman. Sadly, I’m far more like Cat Lady (or would be if I weren’t allergic to cats). That said, I’m still kinda proud to see that cat lady is progressive and now owns a vibrator.

  43. 

    Eartha, if push comes to shove. But, all those catwomen looked mighty FINE to me! ;-)

  44. 

    Holy crap, this is funny

  45. 

    But how would you extend the comparison of we threw in say… Kathmandu? Or Scatman Caruthers?

  46. 

    It’s amazing how close and how far apart two phrases can be. A bit like the word “bad,” whose meaning depends on how it is enunciated.

    Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry (and I guess Anne Hathaway, but I haven’t seen her yet) all brought a certain something to cat woman. Well, a certain two somethings generally.

    In a previous portion of my life I once lived with five cats, at least a couple of who generated Eliot-like tales. However, I don’t think the idea of Catman is going to catch on, so I’ll stop now.

    Cheers!

    • 

      Somehow Catman doesn’t conjure up images of a badass superhero. Instead I get more of a picture of a mincy little guy with his six precious Persian babies. Not quite the same.

      Now these five cats—were they all at the same time, Nigel, or in sequence? I know you’ve spoken about 2 of them, not sure if you had them all at the same time.

  47. 

    As always, great writing – and now I’m totally clear about the difference. I don’t think I qualify for either one – I only have two cats and they’re really more like dogs (Tonkinese). But I agree, that’s a pretty awesome outfit that Halle is sporting in the picture! But I’m not sure I could pull it off in the supermarket. Could be a great Halloween costume, though…

    • 

      Your cats are adorable, Cathy, whether they’re catlike or not. Meanwhile I doubt I could pull that outfit off in the supermarket either. I’m not sure I could pull it off at all, actually. I’d probably need to just cut it off me. That would be a shame.

  48. 

    Brilliant post, Madame!
    I share the same assessment about Anne Hathaway’s performance as Catwoman in “The Dark Knight Rises.” She didn’t bring anything special to the character. I believe Julie Newmar and Michelle Pfeiffer were the best.

    I would have wanted to be the Catwoman. But I ended up merely as a Catlady. :-)

  49. 

    It would seem that Anne Hathaway, or more accurately, sexy sexy leather has become synonymous with the Catwoman character, which is a shame, because I liked it when she would make overly-elaborate death scenarios with tigers, leave the room by going ‘raaarwwr’ and when Batman could subdue the seductress with a ball of wool or a scratching post. ‘Quick, Robin! Get the Bat-Jangly Mouse Toy!’

    • 

      Times sure have changed, haven’t they, Chris? I’m pretty sure if the current Catwoman persona could meet the original Catwoman persona, she’d just look her up and down and say “Girl, what the fuck are you doing???”

      • 

        And she’ll reply ‘I am a woman and icon of my time, the camp-as-tits-Batman 60’s. You are just the latest person to wear that latex. There will come another, younger, sexier and wearing even more evocative leather than you, and you’ll be old news.’ And then she’d set a panther on her or something.

  50. 

    I worked with a Crazy Cat Lady. She told a stunned break room that she can’t keep ice cream in the house. We said, “Gee, why not? Someone lactose-intolerant in your family?” Brace yourself here . . . she said, “No my freezer is full of dead cats. We’ve run out of room in the backyard to bury them.”

  51. 

    I thought your post couldn’t be funnier- laughed loudly and raucously, but the comments are just as funny – couldn’t you put out a little book. – Catty Comments?
    This is a fan note from a dog lover ( seventeen , not all at once) who had one cat who bossed her around until she died recently.

    • 

      Hello, Valerie, and welcome to the show! There are a lot of gifted, hilariously funny people commenting here, I’m extremely lucky.

      Thank you so much for the kind words–I love dogs too, although I’m a self-confessed cat person (but not quite a Cat Lady…yet). My beloved kitty who died a few years ago was a big bossy cat too. I miss her everyday. I’m sorry about the loss of your kitty, it’s always so hard to say goodbye to our furry ones.

  52. 

    hilarious. I especially enjoyed the list of cat names; Chairman Meow, etc..

    • 

      Thank you very much, sir! I’m simultaneously proud and embarrassed at how quickly those names occurred to me, too.

      Meanwhile I have to warn you, you might be in some trouble, Mr. Arran Q. Henderson. My weakness for Irish men is well documented here. I will be visiting your blog quite often.

  53. 

    You are an original and I testify you are da bomb. I loved this blog and made me laugh; a lot. Thanks for that.

  54. 

    Out of this world funny….like cough up a hairball funny…well, the hairball itself isn’t funny, but – Anyway. great post

    • 

      Good grief, Phil, I’m so sorry, this comment slipped right past me. Thank you!! Yeah, hairballs aren’t funny–for kitties, or for humans who step on them with bare feet in the middle of the night.

  55. 

    You do realise, don’t you, that cat lady is just cat woman after she collects her pension?

  56. 

    I personally liked Anne Hathaway as Catwoman! Maybe it was because I expected her to do a horrible, blotched job so when it came out, I was pleasantly surprised. Haha. I thought Halley Berry was just plain cheesy.

  57. 

    Hahaha!! That’s true!

  58. 

    Never struck out giving perfume Opium as gift.

  59. 

    Your cat guide is hilarious! Great post for cat fans of all persuasions.

  60. 

    So funny. Great post! (Love the differences in the scents of both!)

  61. 

    Has someone mentioned that I love this
    posting? Noooo… Well I do so there :) :)
    I have sent you an invite so it must be tied
    up in your Spam box, well either that or
    one of your cats has eaten it :( I will try
    sending you another one okay? :)

    • 

      Why thank you! I haven’t seen an invite in my inbox or Spam, but you know, my girls do like to snack. ;) I would love to join you, though, so thank you for the invite!

      • 

        I have been trying but without your email I can’t however you could request access to mine by clicking on my profile :) Then all you have to do is walk in :)

  62. 

    I have been reading this posting again as it is absolutely hilarious, of course I still adore Catwoman, I think it must be her charming assets that stand out for me, well something anyway :) ;) I hope your weekend was filled with thrills and delights aplenty :) xxx

Testify!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s