I wish I had created this cartoon

I’ve had this cartoon for more than 20 years. Way before The Oatmeal, way before xkcd.com. I have no idea where it came from, but it’s a masterpiece.

It speaks to me on a profoundly deep and meaningful level.

Catwoman vs Cat Lady

We saw The Dark Knight Rises this weekend.  It was awesome.

After the movie Mr. Weebles and I talked about Catwoman.  I was underwhelmed by Anne Hathaway’s performance but Mr. Weebles liked her. (There’s a shocker.)

Then we got to discussing “Catwoman” and “Cat Lady.”  Both are used to describe females with a feline association, but they have very, very different connotations indeed.

Halle Berry as Catwoman. You’re welcome.

Catwoman conjures up a certain image and attitude, whether she’s the original cartoon version, or whether she’s played by Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry, or Anne Hathaway.  Catwoman is sexy, bad, sly, and very agile.

Cat Lady, on the other hand, is not what you’d call sexy.  She likes cats so she can’t possibly be bad.  She’s probably not very sly.

There but for the grace of God go I.

And if she’s agile, it’s only because she needs to be to avoid constantly tripping over Muffin, Babykins, Whiskers, Sir Floof, Mittens, Stripey McStriperson, Arianna Fluffington, Blacky, Chairman Meow, Buttons, and Mrs. Puff.

Should you find yourself in the unenviable position of not knowing whether a female of your acquaintance is Catwoman or Cat Lady, here is a quick guide for your reference:

Catwoman:  Wears an exotic perfume, something like Shalimar or Opium.
Cat Lady:  Wears a heady mix of catnip, Febreze, and tuna juice.

Catwoman:  Her wardrobe has a lot of leather, rubber, and thigh-high boots with stiletto heels.
Cat Lady:  Her wardrobe has a lot of bathrobes, sweats, and ratty slippers, all liberally covered in cat fur.

Catwoman:  A wild animal in the bedroom.
Cat Lady:  Has a lot of animals in her bedroom, but none of them wild. Except for that time Mittens thought Cat Lady’s vibrator was an intruder.

Catwoman:  She’ll cut you and you’ll never even feel it.
Cat Lady:  She’ll apologize profusely for the scratches inflicted by Buttons, he was just playing!

Catwoman:  Speaks in a throaty, seductive growl.
Cat Lady:  “Who’s a good baby? You are! Yes you are! Oh yes you are.”

Happy 4th of July from Dr. Seuss and Abraham Lincoln

This was inspired by Mooselicker, who mentioned both Dr. Seuss and Abraham Lincoln in a comment on my last post.  It gave me the idea to rework the Gettysburg Address as a Dr. Seuss poem.  I like to think Lincoln would have appreciated it.  And the message is just as relevant today as it was in 1863.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Twas eighty and seven years past, so they say
That our founders created the US of A

With all of us equal!  The Wuggles!  The Fuzzins!
And even our naughty Confederate cousins!

Now there’s a war and it’s bad and it’s sad
But a time will soon come when we’ll all be quite glad

That our nation still stands and our country’s still here
And we’ll all drink a toast with a mug of Sneetch beer

These bravest of soldiers did not die for naught
We need a do-over to do what we ought

So let’s have no more of this Civil War folly
And remember our government’s purpose, by golly

Of people!  By people!  For people!  Yes!
But right now this country’s one heckuva mess

I want for this country a sort of rebirth
So all these nice freedoms don’t perish from Earth.

Curlicue power!

The movie Brave premiered this weekend.  And while I don’t have much interest in seeing this film, it has major significance to me: its main character, Princess Merida, is the first animated heroine with curly hair.

Look at all those wild, glorious curlicues!  Do you have any idea how revolutionary this is?  In all other animated films, the heroines have straight hair—maybe with a slight wave, but that’s it.

I, Madame Weebles, have curly hair much like Princess Merida’s (except not as long and not as orange).  And I love it.  But it took me a lonnnnnnggg time to get to this point.  Like most other girls with curly hair, I wanted straight hair when I was growing up.  As a child of the 70s, I was obsessed with Cher’s hair in particular:

I wanted that hair so badly.  I was fascinated by how smooth and shiny it was.  It was hypnotic.  It was nothing like the frizzy, unruly mess sitting on my head.  And despite the popularity of the perm during the 70s and 80s, there weren’t a lot of curly-haired celebrities to look up to.  Look at who I had to choose from:

   

With role models with this, who needs enemies?

I spent many years fighting with my hair to make it straight.  My weapons of choice were the hair dryer and chemical relaxers.  But my curlicues never surrendered.  They were masters of deceit and cunning, lying in wait.  Before I left the house every morning, I’d do a final check to make sure my head was a curl-free zone.  Then, a while later, without warning, SPROING!!!!  One of those little bitches would pop up.  Then another.  And another.  Until I looked like this:

Finally, I realized I had no choice but to wave the white flag.  You win, curlicues.  I can’t beat you.  I laid down my hair dryer and made peace with them.  I made offerings of conditioners and gels.  Now my curls and I are BFFs.

These are some of my curlicues.

I’m struck by the fact that there still aren’t a lot of curly girls out and about.  Even now, with more diverse looks and ethnicities being embraced, you usually see women rocking the curly hair in movies and stuff only when it’s intended to convey a certain look—wild, exotic, sinister, whatever.  Now sure, curly girls are good at causing all sorts of mayhem, but why limit us to that role?

That’s why I’m so glad Princess Merida and her Brave curlicues have debuted.  Own it, sister!