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I don’t like to brag…

Madame Weebles —  November 15, 2012 — 55 Comments

…but I’m going to do it anyway.

And this also gives me an opportunity to promote two great bloggers whom I read regularly.

First, there’s Mike (aka heylookawriterfellow), a children’s author who recently came out with a great book called Sarah Gives Thanks: How Thanksgiving Became a National HolidayI’m fortunate enough to have an autographed copy of this gem.   If you have school-age kids who like history (or even if they don’t), get them this book.

Mike has a worthy goal: the boycotting of children’s books by celebrity “authors”—actors, athletes, musicians, etc., who fancy themselves as “authors” and put out books just because they can.  These folks get a decidedly unfair advantage—their fame guarantees them a publisher, PR, and books sales.  It isn’t fair to authors who have poured their heart and soul into their work.  Read his cogent and convincing argument here.

Mike recently held a contest to create an new acronym for his cause, because he didn’t like the sound of BCCBA (Boycott Celebrity Children’s Book Association).   And lo and behold, my entry—HACKS (Humans Against Celebrity Kid Stories)—was the winner!  But let me tell you, I was up against some tough competition—click here to read the other excellent entries.

So that’s Brag #1.  Now for Brag #2.

Another author, legionwriter, just completed a fiction series called “Unlike Our Waking Lives.”  It’s a surreal, creepy tale that I highly recommend.  Click here to read the first part and proceed from there.  By Part 3, I speculated on where I thought the story was going next.  But it was so eerie and cryptic, it could have gone anywhere, really.

Turns out, though, that my guess was right!  Yay me!   And Yay to Legion for a great read.  If you haven’t already, please visit his blog.  He’s a beautiful, evocative writer.

This concludes today’s brag.  Thank you for humoring me.  Now go visit their blogs.

. . . but I’m fairly certain that Hell has, in fact, frozen over.

I was informed today that There’s something about Mr. Weebles is going to be Freshly Pressed.

It’s too bad they didn’t choose Hey, nice rack or one of my Fuck You posts, but I guess WordPress has higher standards than I do.

You guys are awesome

Madame Weebles —  August 16, 2012 — 143 Comments

I can’t brain today.  I have The Dumb.  The well has run dry for now.  So I’m going to refrain from writing any further posts until next week.  Hopefully that will give my brain enough time to stop oozing.  I’ll still be reading everyone else’s blogs, just not my own.

In the meantime, I have two things to say:

  1. You guys are fucking awesome.  AWESOME.  Seriously.  The last several posts have had well over 100 comments, and some are even over 200 comments.   This is a better party than I ever could have hoped for, and it’s all thanks to you.  I may have to start serving cocktails and hors d’oeuvres (and special thanks to Grippy for the hostess suggestion).
  2. Did I mention that you guys are awesome?  You’re all smokin’ hot, too.   You’re getting laid tonight for sure.

For your enjoyment, I offer you two Muppets classics.

I’ve held off on posting about this because until recently, the search terms that bring people to my blog haven’t been all that funny.  But now I have a pretty decent crop to share with you.  None of them are dirty or really demented, though.  That disappoints me.  Obviously I’ll have to increase the naughty content here to get some good keywords for next time.

I’ve cut & pasted these directly from the stats page, no editing.  Thanks, crazy Internet people!

what is the psychic word for weebles
I think it’s “Veebles.”

whats is the metaphiscal word for weebles
Wow.  I would like to peer inside this person’s head to see what prompted this question.

what does it mean when everytime u see a weeble in yur house u think of a person
This puzzles me on many levels.  What’s with the Weebles in their house?  The way the question is phrased, it almost sounds like this person sees them unexpectedly.  Do they just show up?  Because I think that would disturb me more than anything else.  Also, what person do they think of when they see the Weeble?  Is it always the same person?  Or is it just someone at random?  And do they always see the same Weeble?  I have so many questions.

how long can you be nice to someone you hate
My personal best is about five minutes.

men with massive legs
Really?  Massive legs?  Hey, whatever floats your boat.

trust no man, fear no chicks
This feels like it should be the slogan for a modern-day He-Man Woman Haters Club (you get bonus points if you know what this is without Googling it).

he is my kryptonite and like superman, i am powerless in his wake
I’m going to need to see a photo of this guy.

i think a dead guy is hot
Join the club, honey.

does alex trebek know urdu
My guess is no.  But if he does, then I’m going to need to learn how to say “patronizing fucktard” in Urdu.

why are reiki practitioners so flakey
Because we’re made with many delicious layers of butter and puff pastry.  Also, fuck you.

Spreading it around

Madame Weebles —  June 17, 2012 — 26 Comments

Yeah, I know it sounds naughty, but it isn’t.  Sorry.

I’m continually amazed by the staggering number of fantastic blogs out there.  Photography blogs with gorgeous pictures of exotic locales, stark black & whites that are hard to stop looking at, compelling abstract images, etc.  And all the writers—good gravy.  Whether they write fiction, parody, comedy, poetry, essays, inspirational messages, or commentary on their lives, they’re all tremendously gifted.  They make me laugh, they make me think, they make me want to stalk them.

So I wanted to spread the love around. In addition to creating a blogroll to share with everyone, I was going to write a few words about each blog. But then I realized that might be a little too ambitious and it would also make this post way too long.  So I’ll just say that each blog—and blogger—is delightful and enchanting.

Click here for the new Weebles Blogroll.  It’s a fairly long list, which is why it isn’t a sidebar thing.  So take a few days off from work and check them all out. You’ll thank me for this.

Lately there have been an awful lot of clicks to my blog from searches for “Madame Weebles” and “madameweebles.” And today I found the search term “Who is Madame Weebles?”—complete with question mark.

I’m not sure what they expected from that last one. It’s not like Google can spit out a dossier on me. Or can they? Google’s getting a little creepy with the amount of information they have, so who knows.

Now I’m wondering if one of you blabbed to the authorities about my tissue killings (yeah, I’m looking at you, Summer Solstice Girl). Or maybe Interpol is still trying to find me after that incident in Prague—which was not my fault, by the way.

So I’ve purchased the mask shown above to disguise my identity. They’ll never find me now.

A quick shoutout

Madame Weebles —  June 4, 2012 — 17 Comments

I need to do another post with more shoutouts to all the people whose blogs I love (so it will be a very long post), but for now I wanted to give thanks and props to Nigel Blackwell, for writing a beautiful bio of our reigning King of the Hot Dead Guys, Pierce McKennon.

For those of you who already read Nigel’s blog, you know how good it is. For those of you who don’t, you should drop everything you’re doing right now and click on over there. Stop feeding the kid, pull your car over, walk out of that meeting, hang up the phone, whatever. Just go over there now. He has a collection of stories of badass guys and gals, vehicles that go really fast, and other assorted intrigues.

You’re still here? Why are you still reading this? Go over there now.

Navel gazing

Madame Weebles —  May 30, 2012 — 30 Comments

A lot of people say that bloggers are navel gazers.  I tried it, and frankly, I don’t see the appeal. They just sit there. I’ve gazed at them for a while now and I don’t feel rewarded for my efforts. I don’t get it.