Happy 4th of July: Dr. Seuss Redux

For last year’s 4th of July, I wrote Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address as it might have been done by Dr. Seuss. This year, I’ve created a new poem à la Seuss—the Declaration of Independence, modeled on that great American classic, Green Eggs and Ham:

We don’t like you, no sirree
We do not like your tyranny

From Schoolhouse Rock, another American classic

Colonists are people too
We want our rights, you bet we do

To life and liberty, gracious, yes!
Pursuit of basic happiness!

And so we have to break our bond
With all our friends across the pond

Could we, should we, tell you why?
Before we say our last goodbye?

You taxed our tea, you taxed our crumpets
You even taxed our ploofs and flumpets!

We do not want to quarter troops
We do not like your army groups

We’re subject to your silly laws
And thrown in jail with no real cause

Why have you ignored our plea?
We simply want to be more free!
Would you, could you, let us be?

We ask you nicely, you don’t care
It isn’t right, it isn’t fair!

So with this fancy declaration
We’re separate now, a whole new nation

We’re free now from your tyranny
See you later, King George Three!

And given my recent chat with Abe, I decided an encore performance of last year’s post was in order:

‘Twas eighty and seven years past, so they say
That our founders created the US of A

With all of us equal! The Wuggles! The Fuzzins!
And even our naughty Confederate cousins!

Now there’s a war and it’s bad and it’s sad
But a time will soon come when we’ll all be quite glad

That our nation still stands and our country’s still here
And we’ll all drink a toast with a mug of Sneetch beer

These bravest of soldiers did not die for naught
We need a do-over to do what we ought

So let’s have no more of this Civil War folly
And remember our government’s purpose, by golly

Of people! By people! For people! Yes!
Right now this country’s one heckuva mess

I want for this country a sort of rebirth
So all these nice freedoms don’t perish from Earth.

Happy 4th of July from Dr. Seuss and Abraham Lincoln

This was inspired by Mooselicker, who mentioned both Dr. Seuss and Abraham Lincoln in a comment on my last post.  It gave me the idea to rework the Gettysburg Address as a Dr. Seuss poem.  I like to think Lincoln would have appreciated it.  And the message is just as relevant today as it was in 1863.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Twas eighty and seven years past, so they say
That our founders created the US of A

With all of us equal!  The Wuggles!  The Fuzzins!
And even our naughty Confederate cousins!

Now there’s a war and it’s bad and it’s sad
But a time will soon come when we’ll all be quite glad

That our nation still stands and our country’s still here
And we’ll all drink a toast with a mug of Sneetch beer

These bravest of soldiers did not die for naught
We need a do-over to do what we ought

So let’s have no more of this Civil War folly
And remember our government’s purpose, by golly

Of people!  By people!  For people!  Yes!
But right now this country’s one heckuva mess

I want for this country a sort of rebirth
So all these nice freedoms don’t perish from Earth.

Today’s hot dead guy for your enjoyment

Rupert Brooke

Submitted for your approval is Mr. Rupert Brooke, an English poet who died all too young, at the age of 27. He enlisted in the Royal Navy at the start of the First World War and died of sepsis while en route to Gallipoli in 1915.

Some of Brooke’s poetry was similar to that of English war poets Siegfried Sassoon and Wilfrid Owen, but much of his earlier work was more along the lines of Romantic poets like Keats. Today Brooke is not very well known but at the time he had a cult following. Winston Churchill was a great admirer of Brooke’s work, and after Brooke’s death he eulogized him thusly: “The voice has been swiftly stilled. Only the echoes and the memory remain; but they will linger.”

But my favorite observation about Brooke comes from one of our other favorite hot dead guys, William Butler Yeats, who described him as “the handsomest young man in England.”

Please enjoy another hot dead guy

It’s been a rotten week so far, so I thought I would cheer myself up with another hot dead guy.

William Butler Yeats

As I’ve said before, I have a thing for Irish men. I also have a thing for men who wear glasses. If I ever find a photo of a hot Irishman wearing glasses and some sort of military uniform, I’m pretty sure my head will explode.

Yeats was one of the most prolific and versatile poets of his time, and was the first Irish poet to win the Nobel Prize. He was also one of the driving forces behind the Irish Literary Revival at the turn of the 20th century—his poetry helped shape a new national identity and inspired the Irish people to take a greater interest in their heritage and culture. Later in his life Yeats immersed himself in politics, serving for six years as a senator in the newly formed Irish Free State. But he continued his writing throughout his time in office—he created some of his best-known works during this period. He died in 1939 at the age of 73.

It’s too bad he isn’t alive right now, otherwise I’d ask this fine-looking gentleman to be my special guest at our next Weebles Poetry Slam. I’d have the best arm candy of anyone in the room.