What you don’t see

January 8, 2014 — 398 Comments

The other day I was minding my own business, waiting on a subway platform. Three girls, about 15 years old, were about to pass me, and they were looking my way. One of them pointed at me and said, “You’re FUNNY looking!” She and her compatriots roared with laughter because this was the most hilarious thing ever.

Fortunately for them I was caught off guard and I didn’t react. If I had, their delightfully charred remains would have been scattered across the third rail. Alas, I hadn’t expected to be zinged by a trio of idiot adolescents, so I was unprepared. I just stood there, speechless and confused.

I confess, I do not have a thick skin. What can I say, I might be foul mouthed and full of piss and vinegar, but I’m also a dainty little blossom. (Fuck you, stop laughing.)

And because I’m a delicate flower, my first instinct was to cry big sobby tears and hide my face in shame.

"Hello. My name is Madame Weebles. I am very pleased to meet you."

Hello. My name is Madame Weebles. I am very pleased to meet you.

My second instinct was to come out swinging.

"I'm funny looking how, I mean, funny looking like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny looking, funny looking how? How am I funny looking?"

I’m funny looking how, I mean, funny looking like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny looking, funny looking how? How am I funny looking?

But by that time it was too late to do anything. The train arrived and that was that.

For the record, I don’t think I’m funny looking. I don’t have any extra limbs, and my eyes, nose, mouth, and ears are all in the proper places. I don’t notice too many people shrieking and recoiling in horror when they see me. However, I am almost criminally self-conscious about my looks and I always have been. Critiques of my appearance, whether insults from strangers or insensitive comments from people I know, wound me deeply. It’s my Achilles’ heel. I’ve battled with it for as long as I can remember.

I know that looks are the least important thing about a person when it comes right down to it. But for so long, I truly believed that my appearance rendered me inferior, that my value as a human being was directly proportional to my physical attractiveness. I’m fully aware, incidentally, that my mishegas is insignificant in comparison to the difficulties of those who are judged because of their race, disability, sexual preference, or something else that people shouldn’t give a fuck about. And this incident got me thinking about how freaked out I get. It also reminded me of this fantastic post written by the divine Jen Tonic back in 2012, in which she listed five things she loves about herself. It all started coming together for me as I tried to think of even one instance where I benefitted from someone approving of my looks. And you know what? There aren’t any.

I know now what would have been the appropriate response to those silly little creatures. I would have started with a sarcastic slow clap and then launched into my reply:

That was an amazing jab. Well done. You are shockingly clever. Really, congrats.

I don’t give a flying fuck if you think I’m funny looking, dear. I don’t know what you see when you look at me and frankly, it doesn’t matter. Because here’s what you don’t see:

I have a big heart, and I’m caring and kind. So kind, in fact, that I’ve decided not to shove you onto the tracks. I’m a loyal and fierce friend and if you hurt someone I love, I will cheerfully cut out your heart and jam it down your throat. I’ll help people whether I know them or not. I’ll offer my time, energy, money, or a sympathetic ear and/or shoulder to cry on. I don’t care which. Whatever helps, I’ll give.

I’m successful. I don’t mean that in a financial sense. I mean that whenever I’ve put my mind to something, I’ve done it and I’ve done it well. Sometimes I fly by the seat of my pants, but my pants have always landed me in the right place because they’re very good navigators. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, both personally and professionally.

I’m funny. Not funny looking, just funny. Whether I’m writing or talking, I can make almost anyone laugh. I take great pleasure in this. I have a good sense of humor and great comic timing. By the way, your fly is open. Ha, made you look.

I’m smart. As in, answering all the questions on Jeopardy! smart. Finishing the NY Times Sunday Magazine crossword puzzle in pen smart. I know a lot of shit. And if I don’t know it, I learn it really quickly.

I’ve worked hard to improve myself. I learn more every day about what’s important, what isn’t important, and what I’m here on earth to do. I should add that a lot of the credit for this goes to my therapist and to Ben & Jerry. The value of the insight found at the bottom of a pint of Chubby Hubby cannot be overstated.

So go ahead and have a laugh at my expense, Miss Thing. I have a good life and wonderful friends, and I’m going home to my comfy apartment to see my adorable cats and my fantastic husband who loves me no matter what I look like.

And even though looks truly don’t matter, I’ll have you know that strangers often stop me to compliment me on my hair. I have pretty eyes, a hot rack, and an engaging smile, and even though I’m 46, I have not one wrinkle. NOT ONE. Let’s see if you can say the same when you’re my age, little girl.

So put that on your lollipop and suck it.

398 responses to What you don’t see

    Aiming for Simplicity January 8, 2014 at 7:05 am

    Oh Madame, I wish I could say I have no wrinkles, and I’m younger…I’m terribly jealous of your funny looking lack of wrinkles. One is tempted to tut tut and mutter unkind things about the youth of today, however, in the great karmic world those “young ladies” will undoubtedly get their comeuppance.


      Greetings, Ms. Simplicity! I’m very happy to see you. I’m not sure how I managed the whole no-wrinkles thing, other than I’m almost never in the sun, and I have good skin genes. I agree that these chickies will get their come-uppance. Or, they may just realize eventually that being mean is really not of any benefit to them. But as you say, the great karmic world will even it all out somehow.


    Great response, Weebs. Someday those little shits will tangle with someone with a lot less self-control and civilized veneer. Also, I agree with your assessment.


    Interesting how this post has two distinct tones as you drew me in with the clam, sensitive side and then had me laughing at the aggressive rant. (Laughing, although love your points). Plus I was imagining the scene! Great points.

    PS: Is this where I’m supposed to say, Nice rack!


    I can only say that if you were my neighbor we would be great friends . . .


    Reblogged this on All We Are Saying Is . . . and commented:
    This is so good . . .


    Your responses are awesome. I’ve never seen your exterior and wouldn’t care if you had extra limbs. Your interior is to what I relate. That said, I want to see those creatures in 30 years. Creatures.


      I really appreciate that, 1jaded1. I wish I had learned much earlier that the interior is the most important thing, but better late then never. I hope those creatures learn that lesson too.



    No one sucks lollipops anymore. You definitely got me at hot rack, as I slummed at the most superficial level possible, but I am glad you have blessings in your life (I mean blessings in the non-secular sense). Kind of makes you wonder how those girls feel about themselves if they ignore all the things that you could be (and are) in favour of some really odd random and hurtful comment that relies on no knowledge. I think perhaps they could have done with a good verbal blasting; at least you will be prepared for next time, with some good stuff… Trent


    Bratty little oiks. One or all are bound to fall in front of a subway train when they are too busy watching their footing whilst checking their Twitter, Facebook, Bebo, Snapchat, Vine, Instagram and the rest of that stuff that they spend their lives on.

    Anyway, they lie, I’ve seen your pic and they are talking smack (is that how the kids say it?)

    Can’t stand most teenagers, my niece is 13 now and she has little bitches in her school outcasting her for being friends with a chubby boy, and also for her wearing Doc Martin boots – they call her a goth (she isn’t a goth alas, she is a pop fan, long blond hair and wears neon clothes). She was telling me at Xmas and was upset about it, I gave her some scathing retorts to use back at these girls. Try telling my niece to conform to your stupid vacuous clique will you!

    Though I did have to reprimand her for wearing a Ramones tee shirt they sell in their teen fashion stores just because she liked the design as it was glittered up. If she’s gonna wear a Ramones tee then I need to educate her on their music. :-)


    Weebs –

    I haven’t commented on a post in months, but you have managed to draw me out of my blogger coma with this post – it tore my heart out. But with all the self love you showed yourself by listing all your awesomely wonderful qualities (to which, I’d also like to add that you’re the kick ass queen of the blogosphere), it was like you pieced my heart back together, lovingly baked it in a pie and gave it back to me… which I assure you, felt better than it sounds.

    I literally just had a conversation with my husband last week about choosing your words VERY carefully when it comes to commenting on a woman’s (or girl’s) appearance because those words tend to leave a mark; and even though you can’t see it, the mark is just as indelible as a physical scar.

    I seem to have (unwillingly) cataloged each and every unkind comment someone has made about my physical appearance (jokingly, or otherwise) and stored them in a file inside my brain – which tends to pop open involuntarily on days when I’m feeling particularly self-flagellistic. I’m pretty sure the bulk of the comments were made by teenagers (mostly while I was a teenager myself). Because teenagers are douchebags. And when you put them in a pack, their douchebaggery goes up exponentially.

    I hope all of the loving comments you get today on this post will at least smudge out that one insignificant moment of douchebaggery – preferably they’ll manage to torch the file all together.

    Because just in case no one has told you yet today – you are FUCKING FABULOUS!!



      Linda JKLMNO! What you wrote here resonates with me so fucking much. I too have unwittingly and unwillingly catalogued every single unkind comment made to me as well, and my brain reminds me of them all the time. I can be having a good day and then all of a sudden, WHAM—my brain will suddenly say, “Hey, remember when so-and-so called you fat?” And then it’s all sort of a blur as I plunge into an emotional death spiral. Good times!

      They say that for every one negative comment a person hears, it takes 5 positive comments to counteract it. That’s not fucking fair. In a world where people have turned finding fault into a blood sport, how is anyone supposed to withstand that? But you and so many other bloggers are so lovely and supportive and wonderful and kickass, and I thank you so much. MWAH.


      You’re a peach, Linda—I hope you’re doing ok, and I’m glad to have gotten your fingers going again.


    I’m so glad you’re a Weeble. Because even with a low blow, you won’t fall down. You’ll just wobble a bit.

    I think I will spend the rest of the day thinking up the perfect response . Of course, if I hadn’t pushed the terrible trio onto the tracks, I would have stood there with my mouth gaping, which would have made me funny looking. What sort of people are we raising?

    “Good thing nobody cares about you or they would be appalled at what a nasty person you turned out to be.”

    “It would never occur to me to insult a stranger for no reason at all. Is that talent listed on your resume?”


    Or you could have replied sharply, “And so are YOU!” and left it at that.
    Why is it that we often can’t come up with the answers we needed until much later?
    Still, the short and sweet retort is a treasure.


    Wow. Just fucking wow. I admire your restraint.


      Hey Karen, nice to see you! It wasn’t even a deliberate show of restraint on my part; I’m not quite that mature. If I had been more “with it” at the time, I probably would have hauled off on them. Dumb little bitches.


    Can I borrow that rant when someone calls me funny looking? I’m certainly not as fabulous as you, but it would definitely put the little asshats back in their box. (I especially like the part about the fly being opened. You ARE funny!)


      I can’t possibly imagine that you aren’t fabulous in your own right, Meredith. So by all means, borrow it, although I certainly hope nobody calls you funny looking. But if they do, tell them I said they should fuck themselves.


    Could I adore you more? Not likely. Does it pain me that this silly girl would be so insensitive to someone I know to be all of the things you note here? Yes, it does. But, I love what you have to say here. Beyond the fact that it convinces me we must be sisters from an entirely other mother, I love the raw, vulnerable-yet-wicked-strong post you’ve written. You rock Weebs, in so many ways. This, this is a beautiful post, my friend. Beautiful inside and out… oh, wait, that part is you. xo


    this is what 15 year old girls do–they say to each other–we are going to tell the next person we see that they are funny looking and see how they react–and since you did not react you did not play into their hands–they were just being stupid and silly
    I remember seeing a pic of you once and just for the record–I thought you were a really nice looking lady–and I have got to say I am jealous of your no wrinkles–though I am a bit older–wrinkles have become my nemesis–I used to be very young looking–so the fall is even harder–when I was 15 I was bullied by two girls who were “funny looking” themselves — 15 seems to be a dangerous age


      I think 15 is a very dangerous age, LouAnn. Even more so now than when we were that age, I think. You could well be right about them just going up to people randomly and saying stuff, I wouldn’t put it past them. As for the lack of wrinkles, I’m going to just enjoy it now because I know it won’t last forever. Wrinkles happen to the best of us.


    I remember being a miserable shit at 15 and when traveling in a gang, completely merciless at mocking, well…everything. However, it would never have occurred to me to say something ugly to a person’s face. I wonder that our at-a-distance social network maelstrom has made these little idiots forget that in person, they can be punched in the face if they’re lucky and at worst, be shot by some conceal and carry yahoo that they caught on an off day.
    I like your response, but felt a visceral reaction. I, too, would have stood in stunned silence at the sheer randomness of a verbal attack. I wish I had thicker skin, but something like this would have me stewing for days. I’m not even addressing the veracity of the claim as you so eloquently did, since these girls seem like unreliable witnesses with extremely poor judgment.


      There may be no force on earth more menacing than a pack of teenage girls, Michelle. I did indeed stew for days, actually. I was sad and upset and angry and it really stuck in my craw until I started thinking about how meaningless it is to hang onto it, and how it really makes no difference, ultimately, whether someone approves of your looks or not. IUf they had said “Wow, you’re GORGEOUS!” it would have been nice, I guess, but I would have thought they were fucking with me. Because teenage girls. And it would have been meaningless even if they were sincere. You may be right about them forgetting that in real life, they can be punched (or shoved in front of a subway train). We don’t have conceal & carry in NYC but that doesn’t mean they’re safe from psycho or violent folks, obviously!


    I never have a good response when I need one. But I’m going to start carrying lollipops so I can hand one to jerks and at least manage to say your last line.


      Please do, Thoughtsy. But make sure they’re those crappy lollipops you get at the dry cleaners and not the good ones like Tootsie Roll pops. Those are too good to give to idiots.


    Mean people suck! I’ve seen photos of you, my dear, and in my well-considered opinion, you’re beautiful outside and in! I love your list of qualities and I’m glad you took the time to write them down and share them here. I’d feel the same way if a group of teens did that to me, and I’m not sure what I would say other than maybe “Fuck you!” I know, not nearly as eloquent as your wonderful after-the-fact, responses, but I’m not sure I would shown as much restraint!


      Mean people DO suck, Cathy! I am guilty of being mean at times myself, but usually only when provoked. I don’t see the point of gratuitous meanness. Even when I was a teenager I wasn’t into that mentality. It took me a while to really “feel” the value of the qualities I wrote about here, if that makes sense, but I feel pretty darned good now.

      And truth be told, if I hadn’t been so surprised by their comment, I probably would have said “Fuck you” myself. Or at least given them the finger. :)


    Madame W,
    You are probably not funny looking at all, teen girls have the tendency to bully for their own insecurities. As I am sure you know this. I think your written response here is fabulous and I am glad you shared it with us. I hope this little wretched b****’s comment doesn’t harp on you for long.xo


      How YOU doin’, Jolie Michele?? ;) I’m basically over their comment, aside from marveling at how obnoxious teenagers are. I’m glad I was able to turn their dig into a good post, so it’s all good now! And thank you so much for your kind words here, as always.


    If a single post could make me feel love for another blogger, this one just did. You seem so genuine, you’re funny as heck, and you’ve got both brains AND heart. That girl will get her just rewards one day, no doubt about it. Poor, clueless little brat…


      Why try and come up with the (almost) perfect comment to this post when you can just steal someone else’s… Fuck those bitches Weebs! Now it’s perfect.

      Sorry Jami, I just felt that it could do with a touch of gangster.

      PS – Weebs, I know you’re married but I totally want to do you now.
      PPS – Jami, I still want to do you too, don’t worry.


        Yeah totally, fuck those little ho bags! Sean, you’re forgiven for piggy-backing my comment, having clarified that you still want me.


        THAT’S your touch of gangster??? Come on, Sean, you can do better than that. Embrace your LWA. And I’m honored to be added to the presumably long, long list of women you totally want to do. I was feeling left out.


          It’s really not that long a list Weebs! And as for the comment; you have to say it whilst imagining you’re holding your glock side on, aimed at those bitches… See. Totally gangster.


            Ah, ok, NOW I see the gangster part. Thank you for that clarification. I love how you say “whilst”. Such an English thing. But then again, the whole English accent is instant knicker remover.


      Let’s just run off and get married, Jami. I have a lot of other wives and girlfriends but so what. My husband won’t mind.


    Teenage girls…even at 35, walking past a group of them giggling will still give me the same anxiety I had when I actually was one, and I likely would have had no response to a comment like that in the moment. I love your response here though; you are an amazing woman. And as my mom always says, time is the great equalizer. They don’t understand now, but someday they will.


      I know what you mean, Rachelle–there’s nothing quite as sinister as a pack of teenage girls giggling. It always time warps me right back to high school, and not in a good way. Those chicks may or may not understand over time, but I guess the important thing for me to remember is that I didn’t cave into it like I might have previously. And by previously, I mean maybe 6 months ago.


    Now keep those in your little rejoinder satchel for easy access in the unlikely event you’ll need them at the ready. Although I might substitute sumthin else for lollipop.

    Stop thinking that!

    I meant exhaust pipe. Jeez.


    I love this post. Isn’t it crazy how people can make us feel bad for such ridiculous reason… I think they just don’t realise how words can hurt. Maybe it’s age? showing-off?

    But at the same time, for someone like you – smart, self-confident and self-aware – perhaps it’s a way to reassure yourself of what’s important. I definitely needed to read this. All the best, Pixie


      It’s probably age AND showing off, Pixie. They may not care if words hurt, and maybe that was their goal, to make someone feel bad. Teenage girls are like that, aren’t they. But as you wisely said, it was a good exercise for me to remember what IS important. I’m so glad you found it helpful too. And big hugs to you.


    I had the same thing happen to me and felt exactly the way you did. I was driving in my truck when a carload of teenage idiots pulled up, looked at me, and busted out laughing. It is truly the worst feeling in the world and they didn’t even say anything to me – it was just the idea of their laughter. Unfortunately I only wish ill-will upon them as they go through life.


      Ugh. The laughter. I can feel my stomach knotting up just imagining that scene, Tim. That horrific, mocking laughter. With any luck they’ve been humbled since that that car incident, but if not, I hope the same thing happens to them. They could stand to be taken down a few pegs.


    I am constantly flummoxed by the cruelty that greets you on street corners and such. You gotta visit nicer places!

    As you know, I won me two Weebles last year by picking out your mystery photo. When I learned that I had guessed correctly, my first thought was, “Why doesn’t Weebs show her pic more often? She’s pretty!” I stand by that thought.

    But the encounter you described above has nothing to do with you, of course. The problem lies in the fact that many, many teenagers are very ugly on the inside.


      You’re right, many teenagers, and people in general, are very ugly on the inside, my friend. I haven’t encountered *too* much cruelty but definitely more than I’d like. And I didn’t even provoke them! If I had started it, then I could say okay, well, I had it coming. It’s not fair! And thank you for the kind words, good sir. I haven’t morphed into an ogre since that photo so I guess I’m good to go. :D


    How the hell do you have no wrinkles at 46? And yeah, teenagers suck.


      Same way Cimmorene and I are incredibly baby-faced. Genetics.

      Cimmy is 44. She doesn’t have any wrinkles I can tell. No gray hairs either. But somehow, at 39… I do. She is super sweet about it, calls it my “silver crown” (because much of the gray hair forms a crown).


        Gray hairs at 39 isn’t unusual is it?


          I’m not sure… my paternal grandparents got snowy white hair fairly early. Some of my old school/church mates have grey flecks now, too. So I might have gotten them from stress and illness, but, it’s not unusual to my family history, nor does it seem unusual considering friends my age.

          Cimmy, on the other hand, has great genetic benefits– her father is in his 70s and has very few gray/white hairs. She likely has gotten that benefit from him.

          YMMV, of course.


      I give all the credit to good genes and ironing out my wrinkles every night before bedtime. It burns, but it’s so worth it.


    What I was going to say (and then saw someone else commenting along the same lines) was that more than likely, they just get kicks out of saying that sort of thing to random people, I’m sure it bears no relation to how the person actually looks, they just pick a random person who is on their own. Either that or you had your skirt tucked in your knickers.


      Hi Vanessa! I was wearing pants, but all that toilet paper stuck to my shoe might have had something to do with it. You’re probably right, they could easily have chosen at random and I just happened to be standing there. They’re still lucky they’re not making out with the third rail right now, know what I mean?


    Funny looking?!?!? FUNNY LOOKING!!!! Are you fucking kidding me? I’m sorry but this is wrong on so many levels. First off, you’re awesome and even telling those little cows off is more attention than they deserve. I don’t understand what would make someone think that’s ok to say to anyone. It’s also the kind of comment a 3 year old kid would make. A 3 year old who doesn’t understand that it’s hurtful. A teenager not only knows better but is old enough to be utterly ashamed of themselves for their disgusting behavior. What have their mothers been teaching them? I’m sorry that this happened to you. I’m sorry that people like that exist in our world. xoxoxoxox

    And yes, I’m totally singing the Weebles song. Because Weebles Wobble but they don’t fall down!!!!


      Hello, my friend in YYZ land! It IS the kind of thing a 3-year-old would say, isn’t it. I had the 18-month-old son of a friend of mine once tell me, “You have a big bum!” but I thought it was funny because at the time, I did have a big bum, and he was a toddler, for fuck’s sake. If he told me that again now, at the age of 18, I’d pummel him. (Although he wouldn’t do that because he’s a nice kid.) Some teenagers are just douches. It’s part of their job description. I let it get to me more than it should have, but at least I didn’t let it cripple me the way it might have at another time. So I’ve got that going for me.


        I once had a 3 year old say to me “Why are you so big?” He actually meant why was I so much taller than his mom but my insecure little self went OMG I”M FAT AND HUGE AND FRIGHTEN SMALL CHILDREN. Teenagers suck.


    If all that could fit on a lollipop, I’d order a dozen and hand them out at every subway platform.


    Teenage girls can be so…teenaged-girly-bitchy-asshat-like. Ugh. I loved your points and keep on keepin’ on, Weebs. Them girls are not important…


      That’s the best description of the teenage girl, Kayjai: “teenaged-girly-bitchy-asshat-like.” I realize that it’s a rite of passage, but so should a good ass-ripping by an adult. It just seems fair, right?


    There is something about living in major Metro areas that brings out the “self conscious about looks” feeling. So much emphasis is put on clothing and looks that superficiality is widespread and cynicism high. I have always bucked fashion trends and though I do admire a well dressed person, I cannot imagine investing that much time and money into appearance. When someone looks at me…I want them to see me, not Gucci or Prada.There is nothing sexier than the compliment of a warm fuzzy hug, the twinkle of an eye during an animated conversation or being doubled over from laughing so hard…among friends. These are the signs of true beauty and the only real compliments I desire. I use my metropolitan trips as a gauge of mental health progress…where once I had a hard time not comparing myself to those I was surrounded by…now I can freely walk tall without losing the true self…and then I know that I have got a secret that you just simply cannot buy. Your words are so beautifully blinding that the shallow ones of the world cannot see your stunningness!


      I’m the same way, Mrs. P. I don’t care about fashion trends or designer labels, I don’t really care. And this: “There is nothing sexier than the compliment of a warm fuzzy hug, the twinkle of an eye during an animated conversation or being doubled over from laughing so hard…among friends.” This is what has always drawn me to people and I like to think it’s what draws people to me. If someone cares more about the exterior, or *only* about the exterior, well, fuck them. And good for you for being aware of the tendency to compare when you’re in cities—it’s REALLY hard not to do, and it’s something I’m stil grappling with but it’s getting better. And even though I have no idea what you look like, I don’t care. I think you’re fucking awesome.


    Pity you weren’t wearing reflective sunglasses so you could apologize for them having to look at their own reflections.
    Sadly for them (or their families) they’ll have to live trapped in their heads their whole lives, while we get to just pity them and move on. I remember you posting a picture of you a while back. Nothing to laugh at all, inside or out.

    And as Frank so eloquently put it, nice rack!


      My rack and I thank you, El G! These little chippies looked like the type who just enjoy causing trouble, so I’m sure one of these days they’ll get their asses kicked by someone with a shorter fuse than mine. Good thing for the folks with me at the Prince Street station that I didn’t haul off on them, that could have really posed some serious train delays.


    I’m new around here too, but it’s obvious through your posts and support of other bloggers what a kind person you are making you beautiful inside and out. They were just more Mean Girls wannabes that thought it would be funny to say something random and cruel to a stranger. I really loved your response!


      Mean Girl wannabes indeed, My Muted Voice. It fascinates me, how teenage girls can be so unbelievably bitchy. I can be pretty bitchy myself but they turn it into an art form. And thank you so much for saying such nice things, I’m very happy you’ve joined the party here!


    What a ridiculous thing for them to say. They were probably completely oblivious to what they did, too, not stopping to think how they’d feel if someone did that to them. I think one of the most valuable gifts a parent can give a child is to instill in them the notion of empathy. And it’s not a discussion that should happen only once, but over the entire childhood.

    I like to think I have thick skin, but I would have been as taken aback and as hurt as you had they said that to me. I think your rebuttal is perfect (even if it didn’t come until after the fact), and I’m glad you recognize these wonderful traits about you that we’ve all come to love. Oh, and for the record, I’ve seen a couple photos of you. You are definitely not funny looking. In fact, I’m still envious of how beautifully you rocked the 80s. Very, very few people were able to pull that decade off…


      I suspect that even if these girls have parents who are trying to teach them empathy, the lesson is lost on them for at least the time being. Teenagers, as you know so well, Carrie, are strange creatures. Maybe they’ll sort themselves out one of these days but if they don’t, at least they only made a minor dent in me and nothing too damaging, like it might have done in the past. As for my high school photo, I did fare pretty well in the with the 80s look, I have to admit.


      Now I feel terrible for all the mean things I’ve said about your shoes all these many months.


    I think you are beautiful, Madame. Once, in the Safeway parking lot, a man driving an Escalade yelled at me as I was walking behind his car on my way into the store. He called me a fat ass bitch. I was stunned. I didn’t react. I made my way to the entrance, several people who heard the man asked if I was okay. I must have mumbled something like yeah, I, yeah. I did my shopping, paid for the groceries, and made it back to my car. I put the bags in the backseat and got behind the wheel where I burst into sobs. Uncontrollable sobs. I don’t know how long I sat there crying. 10, 15 minutes maybe. Now every time I see an Escalade I feel a burning sensation in my chest.


      I think you’re beautiful too, Honie. Truly, when I saw you in person I was all “Wow.” But your insides are what make you really a beauty. I would have slashed the tires of that Escalade if I had been with you. Having said that, if I had had that experience myself, I would have sobbed uncontrollably for 10-15 minutes solid too. People are so fucking hateful.


    I fucking hate those kids.


    I’m glad you didn’t respond in the moment. It gave you the time to dig deeper, past the bitchy retort, and share the wealth you found with us. Thank you for this!


      I hadn’t even thought about that, Brenda, but you’re right. If I had just said “Fuck you, bitch” like I might have, I would have seethed and fumed and I don’t know if I would have thought much about what the whole thing really meant to me, or what it DIDN’T mean to me. So I guess it all worked out pretty decently after all.


    Bravo, Madame! You told them little spoiled, empathy-less princesses!! Nothing worse than mean girls! They probably had some sort of a dare to say that to a stranger. Good thing they weren’t trying out the whole “knockout” punching phenomenon going to these days – where they punch someone randomly chosen just for fun!

    Funny because the other day I was coming out of the movies with Mr. brick house and a teen girl sitting with friends told me I looked nice. The thing is that I didn’t believe her! I thought for sure it was some trick or some dare because it couldn’t possibly have been real that a young teen would actually compliment a stranger. I still don’t believe she meant it. AY! You rock!


      Gracias, amiga! Man, that “knockout” game is fucked up, isn’t it? Some people have been killed by those punches. So twisted. And you know what, I think I would have had the same reaction you did, with the teenager telling you that you looked nice. I would have been bracing myself, waiting for the joke, the jab, the other shoe to drop. I’m so glad it ended up being a compliment for you after all!


    I hear you. I vividly remember when a boy in my class in high school made fun of my nose, called it “ugly” in front of the entire class. I’ve never been secure in my looks and it does sting, no matter how much we all know it doesn’t matter.

    Well, we all know for a fact you are a gorgeous woman inside and out. They must have been playing some stupid game. I always look at it as how insecure they must be. How much it must suck to be them, to go around being so cruel to strangers just to make themselves feel superior for a brief second. Because I can guarantee they don’t feel superior on the inside. So fuck ’em.


      What the fuck? Do you have the name of the boy who made fun of your nose? I’ll hunt him down and cut him. And you, my Luscious Vixen, are luscious AND lovely lovely lovely, inside and out, and I think you’re fucking wonderful. So yeah, fuck ’em all.


    I keep thinking about this post. What rudeness. And then at work I happened upon this perfect quote:

    Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
    — Mark Twain,

    Those girls will never be great. Nope. But you? Yup.


    I love you.


    Well said, Madame! You are awesome. Groups of teenagers are scary – a bunch of hormonal basket-cases with no concept of consequences and a vicious hive-mind mob mentality. But then, I’ve always maintained that children are just small, vicious aliens.

    I know it takes at least fifty compliments to make up for one mean comment, so here’s mine: Even if you had only half of your good qualities, you’d still be totally cool. And I’m consumed with envy at your wrinkle-free status. My forehead is starting to look like a topographical map of the Grand Canyon…


      Kids and teenagers—when they’re in packs, it’s like Lord of the Flies, Diane. Vicious little monsters! And thank you for your compliment, girl–you are quite cool yourself. And I’ve seen your photo too, I have seen no canyons or lines of any kind. Lookin’ good to me.


    Some people just don’t understand what really is funny. It’s like the teenaged boys of Redcar who when I was in the Yorkshire Trading shop there in November, walked past and said “are you a virgin” at me. They didn’t really ask the question, because they didn’t stop for an answer.

    However, I have decided that should another random stranger ask me this question, I will answer along these lines: Is this relevant to your life? How will your knowing whether or not I have had sex make your life better? Do you have a genuine interest in Religious Life? Or are you vainly trying to make yourself look good in front of your friends? If it’s the last, then, sorry sweetheart, but you’ve failed, because all you’ve done is make yourself look stupid. Have a nice day.

    And I agree with Elyse.


      You said it, Faith. I guess it’s probably not good form for a Sister to slug a random prerson, but I might have really tempted to haul off on those kids. I know I wasn’t always so nice when I was a teenager but for crying out loud. Kids today! You have the right attitude about it, and I admire you for that very much. And thank you!


    Hah, badass comeback that one! Sad thing she can’t hear it, but you know, probably there’ll come a day she regrets it. And if not, well, she’s not even worth thinking about anymore.

    The last sentence almost made me say ‘YEAH’ out loud :D.


    I’ve seen your picture out here – I think you’re quite attractive.

    Those girls can GO FUCK THEMSELVES.



    You know it will come back to haunt her later, anyway. I’ll be sure of it.


    Madame, I know you’re beautiful inside and out! That little girl can suck it. What an awful, mean thing to say to anyone, but especially to my Weebles. Love, Honeybee xoxox


    Teenagers suck. Fact. Fuck them and their stupid One Direction.


      A-fucking-men, Bill. It’s bad enough that they’re obnoxious, but today’s teenagers and preteens today should be extra ashamed for liking abominations like One Direction and Bieber and the Jonas Brothers. It’s fucking criminal. CRIMINAL, I say.


    You’re a stand-out . . . and those poor girls seem perfectly normal.


    fucking little pre-moisty twats. fuck them and the babies they’ll have by their high school graduations.


    Well, this was well worth the wait from your teaser yesterday. Teenagers are so insecure with themselves, they tend to do stupid things. I’ve had people, usually kids, say some mean things to me. I usually just stop and stare at them, makes them nervous as hell. Then I laugh and go on, like they aren’t worth my time. I’m very short, so I seem to draw attention for some reason. Ugh, kids. My husband says I can freeze steam with just one look, comes in handy. haha! Big hugs Weebs, even though I don’t know you well, I can tell you are good people.


      And I can tell you’re good people as well, Jackie. (Obviously Abe knows too!) And I like the fact that you can freeze steam with one look. That’s a handy skill. People are so stupid and insensitive. I’m not sure how gratuitous nastiness benefits anyone, but whatever.


    When you mentioned this the other day I was hormonal and wanted to cry — I know, I know — crazy — and I already cried that day from reading something about someone else — don’t remember now what it was exactly, however. That day, I also thought about some of the things you mention in this post — about your intelligence, success — stuff you could easily have thrown back into their faces. You could even have asked them to try spelling one of those words you see on crossword puzzles — ha! — give them an aneurism.

    I have this fantasy about being insulted, then looking at the offender in shock and earnest, saying simply, “You know, that really hurt! That was mean! Why would you say something like that to someone you don’t even know?” Either this or just laughing hysterically. But as usual, I always come up with the best retorts in hindsight. ~sigh~ Well, M.W. — carry on with your bad self! Let it roll like water off a ducks behind. Muah!


    Always remember – youth is a flaw that gets smaller day by day ….


    I’m so glad I see how beautiful you are. “I am grateful for not being an ignorant adolescent” is going in my gratitude journal today. :)


    Filthy brutes. Your response, though vicarious, is elegant.


    You are one of the most beautiful people I know, and the opinion of three lollipop-sucking assholes won’t change that. Ugliness on the outside is subjective, but ugliness on the inside is something that reads loud and clear no matter what language you speak.

    Love you!


    I hate when something happens and I don’t have a quick response. What’s it called when you think of a great comeback but it’s too late?


    “I tried to think of even one instance where I benefitted from someone approving of my looks. And you know what? There aren’t any.” THIS. I’ve never actually voiced this before, but it is so insanely true.

    Kids like that are real-life Internet trolls, tossing stupid, ridiculous words out there just to get a reaction. It’s best that you didn’t say anything to them because then they would have gotten exactly what they wanted.


      They ARE real-life trolls! I hadn’t thought of that before but that’s basically what they are. I know what you mean, Emily—i hadn’t thought about whether I benefitted from someone’s approval of my appearance, but when I did think about it and made that realization, I thought WOW. It really is kind of pointless to freak about it. There will always be people who judge us that way, and that’s really more a reflection on them than on us.


    I wasn’t sure if I should “like” this post since it was hurtful to you, but you wrote well, very well. Fifteen year olds can be truly stupid, but as I’ve discovered people like me in their 60s can too. Hope you’re staying warm in that big, cold city of yours.


      Stupidity and cruelty have no age cutoff, Writing Waters. Sad but true. It was a wee bit frigid here last week but now we’re at a positively balmy 40 degrees. Hope all is well with you!


    I love it – put that on your lollipop and suck it – ha! This is a beautiful post – and you are indeed a beautiful person.


    Well said, Madame. I wish those lollipop-sucking assholes could read your reply here. This really got to me: “I tried to think of even one instance where I benefitted from someone approving of my looks. And you know what? There aren’t any.” Hmm, I’ve never even considered that in my own life. Thank you for this post.


    This made me want to stand up and clap!! Way to go, Madame!


    Love this and screw them – I hate this type of shit. You rock and I wish they could know all the awesome things you have listed here but I have a feeling it wouldn’t matter anyway. They have a lot to learn about the world.


      Hi Daile! I hate this shit too. Meh. But like you said, screw them. Maybe they’ll learn, maybe they won’t, but either way, I was glad I didn’t let them get to me *too* much.


    “Funny Ha-ha? or Funny, peculiar?It’s obvious which one you are.” Calmly said.
    They are sad little nobodies – you are Weebles.
    Snark on with pride.


    To a group of frogs, a swan is funny looking.
    And on your list of good points – that things you did to me last week… WOW! Few could, but you really can ;)


    You kicked ass with this one! Wow. I’m glad those two little bitches said you were funny looking ONLY because the movements in head that occurred because of it are brilliant. I have incredibly thin skin and can tell you the meanest things kids said to me growing up verbatim. …probably with little to no eye contact and I’m almost 33 now. Great job.


      Thanks, T. Dawn. I absolutely sympathize and understand when you say that you remember word for word the mean things that were said to you. So much for that bullshit of “sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Words fucking hurt, and they stay with us. I vividly remember most of the terrible, unkind things said to me too, and yet, I find it hard to remember all the nice, positive, kind things that have been said. I’ve resolved to try to remember the good things rather than the bad, and remember that the mean things were said by people who don’t deserve the amount of space my brain has given them all these years.


    I’m about as pissed as you are, Madame Weebles, as I’ve been in similar situations. I sometimes catch people saying some insulting things within earshot. Who do they think they are? I think the last time someone had the guts to say it to my face was in fourth grade when a kid at the bus stop compared me to another fat kid they knew. I was apparently even more so. In more recent times, it’s whispers of creepiness.

    It’s almost as if people are looking for alternatives with their judgmental nature. Racism and bigotry is out of vogue. So, let’s pick this random person! If they can’t say anything nice, then they need to knob off and mind their own business.

    You know what, Madame Weebles? You’re awesome. You’re so God damn awesome and articulate and hilarious, these girls could only dream of having a fraction of your personality!


      “Whispers of creepiness.” Those are brutal. On occasion I get the critical eyeballing from top to bottom, sometimes a snide crack, and then this latest incident. Teenagers can be assholes anyway, so I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that a group of teenage girls were being bitchy. And thank you so much for saying such nice things! You’re a good’un, Corvidae. And I’d be happy to bitch slap anyone who says otherwise.


    “You’re funny looking.”
    “That’s because you’re too immature to recognize beauty.”


    LOL! You go girl! When you said to stop laughing…I laughed so hard if I had been drinking I would have spewed. giggles. You ARE funny. :) I think when people say things like that to other people they are trying to be more than by making you less than. It’s sad really. Once a younger person in a store walked up to me at a jewelry rack and told me I looked pregnant. I wasn’t pregnant, and it was obvious to me that they said it as an insult, not a oh when are you due type of thing. It was very clearly a bash on my appearance. I wondered to myself why some people are so unkind. Like you, I was shocked and didn’t know how to respond so I just ignored her and walked away. Words do hurt, and some people enjoy hurting people with words. Good for you that you rose above those juveniles. All I can say is KARMA. :)


      Oy, I’ve had that experience too: “When are you due??” “Um, NEVER, since I’m not actually pregnant, you dumb fuck.” I don’t know why people think that bashing someone else builds them up, because it really doesn’t. It doesn’t make you more attractive, or smarter, or anything else. It just makes you more of an ass. And I agree with you: KARMA. Rock on, Dani.


    I’ve seen your photo… You’re gorgeous looking, and THEN there are all your other qualities…
    That is all


    Those girls were idiots, but I’m glad you didn’t throw them onto the tracks. That would have been a truly horrible thing to do. Just think of all the poor innocent commuters who would have been inconvenienced.

    Also, you have excellent taste in pets and ice cream.


      You are so right. I don’t know if I could have lived with myself if I had inconvenienced so many commuters. You’re a swell gal, Laura. We should hang out and share a pint of Chubby Hubby.


    Thank you for Jen. X


    I don’t have a thick skin, either.


    Weebs, I work with teenagers, and unfortunately, the worst of them can be horrific. Especially the girls.
    The part I don’t like is you telling us that you look pretty damn ok. Who gives a flying fuck? You’re Magnificent (insert trademark there). Am I bizarre, or am I the only person on the planet who doesn’t care what people look like? My husband was 50 pounds overweight when I married him, maybe more. I didn’t see it. His personality transcended it.

    The man I loved before that, for many years, was 5″3′. That’s right. Who gives a shit? One of the things I love about blogging is that I can fall in love with all of you for who you are, without any of the nonsense of what you do or don’t look like interfering.

    And I am falling in love with you, Weebs. Or at least, in heavy like. Thank you for everything you add to this corner of the blogosphere. It wouldn’t be the same without you.


      Teenage girls are one of the most sinister forces known to mankind, Samara. Immediately destructive like a bomb, but also as insidiously deadly as a slow-acting poison. I don’t really care much what people look like either. If I love them, I love them, and their insides always make their outsides more attractive to me.

      I see your point about talking about what I look like—that was more for my own benefit than everyone else’s, actually. I’ve spent most of my life telling myself how hideous I am. So I thought it would be a nice change of pace to actually find something I *like* about my appearance.

      I think you’re pretty groovy too. I apologize for not having made it over to your blog lately, but I will be there ASAFP.


    OMG….the Joe Pesci response had be on the floor laughing! Teenagers are such asses these days…they have such disconnect with the human race our future with them looks bleak.
    My fear is that one of these fuckers will be pushing me in a wheel chair when I’m old & feeble, but then I think of all the “accidents” I can have and no one will dare suspect the old feeble lady, even though she will be smiling.
    You rock Weebles and don’t forget it!


    Madame Weebles.
    You, my friend, are a gift. I’ve never been one of the Beautiful People – thank God.
    We’ll have to do a 5×5 post soon. You’re too cool to not be on my blog.
    The Hook.


    There’s no explaining some people and while I love your response, if that should happen again, exclaim “AWESOME! That’s exactly the look I was going for!” and walk away smiling. It’s always better to leave them baffled.


      That WOULD have been a great response, Sandy. Of course, there’s no way I would ever have issued the response I wrote here, because a) that assumes that they’d care to stop and listen, which they would not; and b) there are too many big words in it that they probably wouldn’t understand anyway.


    (and please tell me your wrinkle free secret you bitch, cos at 42, I’m starting to look like a Shar Pei)


      Pressing my face regularly with a hot iron has helped a great deal, CSC. So has coating it with a fine layer of varnish. It’s not so comfortable but BEAUTY IS PAIN. And I highly doubt that you are starting to look like a Shar Pei at the tender age of 42. You’re practically a baby, for fuck’s sake.


      Also, Welcome! I hope you’ll stay and visit often. We have cake. And booze.


    My son, when he was 5, said he felt sorry for those who felt they had to make fun of others. He was being teased and he said he wouldn’t let it get to him because what they did was a reflection on them not him. It doesn’t negate that fact those girls were acting like twits but still.


    And THIS is the best possible thing that could have resulted from their stupidity: you loving yourself even more, and reminding all of us to do the same. Lemonade from thoughtless teenagers: I LOVE it. And you. Really.


      So I’m only what, 4 months late in replying to this comment? You’re absolutely right, Jennie—this was lemonade, courtesy of thoughtless, silly teenagers. It worked out well, all things considered. Love you too, sista.


    I can’t see you but I know I like you.


    That quote by Pesci…it was from ‘Casino’, am I right? One of the best movies ever made. Oh boy, I’ve done the same thing, I beat myself up because I don’t look the way I wished I did or used to. I think we all have insecurites about our looks. But, as you said so beautifully, I am never insecure when it comes to owning what I love about myself and those I call friends.
    There was a girl in her 20’s who, when I began to lose my hair from chemo, made a cruel remark about hair on my black coat. I was devastated. It took me a couple of days of obsessivley checking everyhting I owned for loose hairs before I realized how crazy that was. But I still think about her dramatic shudder and her loudly exclaiming her disgust so everyone would turn around and look at me. It made me feel ashamed! Wow…what a cruel little bitch. Still, I KNOW that there’s something out there that is called karma that is drawn to those little kinds of people. My karma is in excellent shape Madame W. Excellent! Hers? I hate to think what’s coming down the pike for her.


      Close, it was Goodfellas, not Casino, but you’re right, Casino was an excellent movie. How the fuck are you, Laura Lynn? I am horrified to read about the stupid bitch who made a cruel remark to you. I’m so sorry. You had nothing to be ashamed of, of course. SHE’S the one who should be ashamed, and I agree, karma will get her, and it will really be painful. Sucks for her.


        Well now I have lots of hair and if I could I would go and toss it at her by the handful every time I got it cut. I’m small that way. And revengeful. Goodfellas…brrrr. That was a good movie. But nothing beats Pesci in Casino. Do you remember the ‘pen scene’? Holy shit, it still freaks me out!


    Their behavior suggests American culture’s obsession with unrealistic and commercially defined standards of “beauty” and “desirability” has taken over another generation. As others have said, they’ll get theirs at some point. And maybe sooner than later. All that junk food and lack of exercise (mental and physical) will probably age them and shorten their life spans.

    Love your response, even if you didn’t get to tell them off to their faces!


      Greetings, JM! Man, do I have a lot of catching up to do, I see I’ve missed a whole new batch of writing on your blog. It makes me so angry that kids today are being inundated with even more messages than we were, about the social “ideals” about beauty, desirability, etc. It was bad enough when I was a kid in the 70s, with Christie Brinkley, Cheryl Tiegs, etc. I was not blonde and willowy (I’m still not, come to think of it). And as gorgeous as they were, they would be considered too heavy to model if they were in their 20s today. Yet another generation of minds being warped.


    For the simple fact that they used their words to hurt you, Weebs, each of those girls deserve a serious case of esophageal gonorrhea.


    I love you and I love this! Those silly little twits are just that – silly little twits who say inane things just to see what kind of reaction they will get. I like to believe that in 10 years at least one of them will be writing about this very day, haunted by how badly and ridiculously she behaved and apologetic for the harm she thoughtlessly caused. Because someone should definitely learn a lesson from this, and it ain’t you.


      You’re a peach, my stealthy little PinotNinja. It’s possible that one or more of these dumbass girls may in time regret her actions, but who knows,. Frankly, I don’t care much because *I* learned a valuable lesson from the experience, so fuck them.


    First of all, I want you to know that reading this put me through the whole gamut of emotion. Anger, fear, sadness, fierce pride and happiness. There was also one all important thought. “That’s my friend who wrote that.”
    Second, I want you to know that I featured you on my blog today, Mme. Weebles. Here’s a link so you won’t have to search for it. http://wavemistress.wordpress.com/2014/01/09/zero-to-hero-day-8-make-your-about-page-irresistible/


      Holy mother of fuck, am I late for this. So sorry, Cimmy. Better 4 months late than never? Thank you so much for featuring me on your blog, and thank you so much for relating so well to my post. I’d happily grab the backpack of anyone who insulted you as well, and say “If you value your life, you will leave right now.” Or maybe I’d just kick the shit out of her.


        Thanks, Weebs. I don’t think you’re late at all. Your reply came right when I needed it the most. I was teased all through school and ADD makes it hard to have a thick skin and just say, “What do you know?” I just can’t help but wonder if they know something I don’t. So, if someone said mean things to/about you, I probably wouldn’t kick them, but with my command of the English language, I would sure make them sorry.


    When I first started reading this, I was really really angry. I don’t understand the thought process behind such actions or how someone can be so cruel to a stranger. But all that anger is gone now because you managed to kick some serious ass right here. I… I can’t even add anything to this. I just love it.


      I’m a wee bit ate in replying to your wonderful comment, sorry Aussa. And thank you. I feel pretty good about how that experience turned out. In past years, I might have taken that insult to heart, gone home, and curled up in the fetal position with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Instead, I went home and typed a blog post. For me, that’s pretty good progress, so I’ll take it.


    I simply want to stand on the highest platform in my home and applaud you. Did anybody else hear that Space Oddessy theme in the background?


    Sounds like the latest craze, the Knockout Game, where teenage boys cold-cock a total stranger. Leave it to the girls to come up with an even more deadly version; a fatal blow to a part of us infinitely more sensitive then our heads – our hearts.

    Good for you for coming up with just the right response, even if it WAS long after the fact. Those dim bulbs wouldn’t have understood anything over one syllable anyway.


      That Knockout Game is some sick shit, Pegoleg. I don’t fucking get it. But the girls really do go for the jugular with their games, don’t they. Whoever said “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” had no idea what they were talking about. As for my response to those girls, I am quite sure they wouldn’t have stuck around to listen, even if they did understand any of it. I wouldn’t have wasted my breath on them, frankly.


    Love this! I think its important for us to remember all the wonderful things about ourselves. :) And I would much rather have a beautiful heart than a beautiful face.


      Amen, sister! A beautiful exterior doesn’t make up for a dark and ugly interior. It’s something that’s taken me a while to learn, but as you said, it’s important for us to remember all the good things about ourselves, that have nothing to do with appearance!


    Aren’t we all funny looking when you come right down to it? We are lopsided, and uneven, splotchy, we have hair growing only in certain places, and then sometimes not where it’s supposed to be. We smell funny too. Well, at least I do…

    Karma will come back to them. When teenagers play games like that, if nothing else, they will grow up to regret and feel guilt over their words. And at worst? They’ll never grow up at all. And they will miss all the joys of being an adult and making something of themselves in this chaotic world.


    I love you.
    And Happy Birthday!


    Nasty girl will say the wrong thing to the wrong person someday…or she will be wracked with guilt in a few years when she looks back at what a shallow and stupid idiot she was to people. In either case, this will be her problem to cherish long after you have forgotten all about her. You win!


      Greetings, RobotDancing! Apologies for the insanely long delay in answering your excellent comment. Nasty girl may or may not eventually regret her actions, I hope she does for her sake but you never know, right? As you said, this will be her problem to cherish (I love that phrasing, by the way), and for me it’s a good blog post. Yay!


    Elegance of character and depth of integrity are lost on the superficial. Beautiful post.


    Madame Weebles, you are awesome. Most people would wallow in an unpleasant incident like that and allow it to ruin their day. You came out on the other side with your head held high for the wonderful person that you are. Happy Birthday! I’ll eat some Chubby Hubby in celebration with you today – or some mashed potatoes – or both. And I just found out you’ve been Freshly Pressed. Congratulations! Those nasty little girls have no idea how much good karma followed you in their wake.


      Maddie! Good to see you, and thank you! You know, in past years, I would have wallowed for sure. It would have ruined not just my day, but my week. I would have replayed the incident over and over in my head, and looked in the mirror while bemoaning my fate as a funny-looking person. But I’m happy to report that nowadays, any consumption of Chubby Hubby and mashed potatoes are not done while wallowing, so I’ve got that going for me. I hope all is well with you!


    So well said. Love your writing. I actually feel sorry for those girls, they are so so lost. You are the luck one for knowing what it’s all about. Have a great wrinkle free weekend! Kirsty x
    P.S. Jealous of your hot rack.


      Bonjour, Kirsty! I’ve had a preliminary look around your blog and will be back for more. Because who doesn’t love French baked goods? Idiots, that’s who. And don’t be jealous of the hot rack–I’m sure you have a sweet ass or smokin’ hot legs or some other delightful body part. But of course that’s not what it’s about anyway, is it. Because fuck that noise, we shouldn’t be judged by that stuff anyway. Peace out, sister.


    I needed this. I feel exactly like this sometimes and now I’ve found the perfect response.
    Your post is so inspirational. Bless you and have a happy new year.



      Hello there, MsAidyl! Welcome! I’m sorry you feel this way sometimes too. It sucks, doesn’t it. I hope you are never bullied, but if you are, remember, it’s not you, IT’S THEM. It’s always them. And I’d gladly knock their heads together for you.


    Happy Birthday Madame!


    Your fly’s down… that is hilarious. I love the classics.

    Monica DiNatale January 10, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    Great story telling. I live in NYC and have had many subway experiences!


    Happy Birthday, Madame Weebles!


    PREACH. I, and most women I know, need to read this and make up a comeback like this to rattle off every time we get down on ourselves for not looking like a digitally edited magazine cover girl.


      Hell yeah, Gaby. It’s so nice to have you here, I like you already. Women really need to remember that even cover girls don’t look like that. I wish there were some way we could pass a law that prohibits the media from manipulating images of women, and prohibits the glorification of “ideas” that are unattainable for the vast majority of people. When we rule the world, we should do that.


    You see this is why you need to keep those little weebles in your pocket, little bitches pass you by with mean comments, you peg ’em in the back of the head with a weeble then just act like nothing happenend, but you know your mark hurts deeper than theirs. Those trollops just got Weebs smacked!
    Happy Birthday!!


      That shit would hurt, being beaned in the head with a Weeble. Good idea, Jean. I’m going to keep an arsenal of Weebles in my pocket at all times from now on. And thanks for the birthday wishes, sorry for the belated thank you!!


    “… I will cheerfully cut out your heart and jam it down your throat.”
    I think I like you. :)
    Also, teenage girls are stupid and generally not worth the energy it takes to get angry at them. (I can say this because in three months I will no longer be a teenage girl.)
    But seriously, people suck and you are funny.


      I think I like you too. And four months have now passed, so congratulations on making it out of your teen years, E! Teenage girls really are stupid, and mean. I remember this from my own teen years–I truly believe that there is no force on earth more vicious than a teenage girl.


    Madame Weebles. A question: Why do petty, negative comments stick so closely to us, while the positive, cool, kind ones roll right off our backs? If you figure this one out, do tell. It irks and shirks me deeply. And I’m sure you’d be able to frame it in beautifully lucid prose. Thanks.


      So obviously I’ve spent 4 months thinking about your question, HAW, which is why it’s taken me so long to answer it. I’ve read that we as humans (because as you point out, we are weird) are genetically programmed to remember negative experiences much more vividly than positive experiences. Something to do with survival, avoiding things that can harm us—remembering that fire will hurt us if we get too close, remembering which animals are predators, remembering which things are dangerous. So it’s in our DNA. Of course, we aren’t so primitive in our daily lives anymore, but the parts of the brain that kicked in back then still kick in when we hear things that hurt. Negative experiences are the modern version of ferocious predators—except that they serve no useful purpose.

      And in that vein, there was a psychological study that determined that for every negative comment we hear, it takes 5 positive comments to balance it out and/or negate it. I think that’s pretty fucking unfair, don’t you? Thanks a lot, primitive brain.


    Oh how I adore you ‘tude ms weebles. :) I love the response. I know my looks are something I frequently struggle with too, at least in a sense. Becoming secure in your own skin is definitely hard work, but worth it. I hope to get there one day. Wonderful writing as always.


      Hiya Stormy!! I am always happy to see you. I struggle regularly with my looks too, so I understand exactly what you mean. But I can see your Gravatar photo and I think you’re lovely. At any rate, it blows that we have to work so hard just to feel comfortable in our own skins. When you think about it, it’s really twisted. I hope you and I both get there one day.


    Congratulations on being “freshly Pressed,” you obviously deserve it. I just wonder what you are going to do with all those new followers and comments you will be acquiring. Funny post.


    Reblogged this on teenage writing and commented:
    Wow. Your an incredible writer. c:


    I love your voice. It cries out to prove that the inside of a person is what truly matters in this often plastic world we live in…


      Thank you, and welcome, Bonnie! Sorry for the tardy reply, but I agree with you, what matters is the insides of a person, and it’s a shame that so many people are so plastic and mean-spirited. In this case it was silly teenage girls, but there are plenty of adults who have the same mindset, and that really sucks.


    “So kind, in fact, that I’ve decided not to shove you onto the tracks…” snort… Happy Birthday.


    Well, you set them straight on the internet. What the heck were those little turds thinking? Why would you just walk up to someone you don’t know and tell them they look funny?


    Oh man those little girls are lucky I wasn’t with you.
    I’ve seen a picture of you and there was nothing funny looking about you. Maybe it was a “Dare” or something stupid that kids do–they can be so idiotic and cruel. As can adults.
    I’m sure I would have gone all Psychologist/Lawyer on them and would have asked a thousand questions until they ran away screaming and/or crying.
    Anyway, I love you and your wrinkle-free face (jealous!), and I’m rather fond of Ben and Jerry too. So fond, I’m going to go say hi to them right now.
    (Spot is doing great today. She’s like a new dog. It’s a fucking miracle. Her swelling is down 80%, easy. I’m gobsmacked.)
    Love you chica, & congrats on being Freshly Pressed! Very very very deserved.


      Nothing like taking 4 months to reply to comments, eh, Christy? As usual, you can expect an email from me soon, I’ve been thinking about you. Love you too, sister. And thank you, as always.

    dutchessofdebauchery January 11, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    Well done..great attitude


    It was their own sub conscious inferiority and how they view themselves which was spoken out, aimed at their own self without realising it yet.


    Love this! Love the response! You have fantastic storytelling abilities and you made me smile first and then laugh out loud – some credit must go to your therapist and Ben & Jerry!


      Thank you so much (albeit very belatedly) for the very kind comments and the reblog, MerakiGirl! And yes, a lot of credit goes to my therapist and Ben & Jerry. Those three have been instrumental in my healing.


    Reblogged this on Meraki girl and commented:
    Fantastic piece!


    Well said! If only I had the quick wit to have come back with a cutting remark when someone has been cruel to me in the past. For some unknown reason, this doesn’t seem to happen anymore. Perhaps because I’m in my thirties now and definitely invisible to the world at large. I don’t carry around such anger at stupid comments anymore but I could have written this post myself a few years back. It’s rather wonderful to be the other side of the fence now, visible or invisibly :)


      Hello Jo! Welcome, I’m so pleased that you stopped by to visit. I’m sure you aren’t invisible to the world at large; I’m 46 and I’m still visible–sometimes not always in the way I’d like to be visible, but still. However, I know what you mean. There’s a definite shift from your 20s to your 30s in terms of how, and how often, people view you. I don’t carry around the anger anymore either, but I did for a very very long time. It’s exhausting and destructive to carry it all around, but I did it anyway. So here’s to being on the other side of the fence, lady.


    Very nice and funny! Thumbs up! :))


    It’s funny that no matter how many times I tell myself that LOOKS DON’T REALLY MATTER and IT’S FRIVOLOUS TO CARE SO MUCH WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF MY APPEARANCE that these mantras never seem to actually affect my day-to-day experience of myself. I’m self-conscious in a way that most people are. And sometimes I wonder if I care more about someone noticing I had lipstick on my teeth than what they thought about the content of what I was saying.


      Oh, Nowhen Girl (that’s an excellent name), I totally relate to caring about whether people notice the lipstick on my teeth vs what they thought about what I said. It’s kind of wrong, isn’t it. And yet, I do it anyway. I know how hard it is NOT to be more consumed with your appearance, and what people think of your appearance, than with what people think of you as a person. I’ve been there for most of my life, and I’m still there, to a great extent. It ain’t easy, especially if you grew up feeling that you were less than. It’s very difficult for me to believe the mantras too, but it’s become easier over time. Which is why, when I encountered these three little idiots on the subway, I didn’t fall apart. I realized that the problem was them and not me. So I’ve made some progress here, at least. So I get you, believe me.


    I absolutely love your post. Don’t allow people to make u feel inferior, because you r better than that! Keep writing!


    You go girl! I can so relate to connecting your self worth to how attractive you are. This has been a battle I have fought for as long as I can remember. I don’t see that changing anytime soon. The scary thing is, when you get older (and I’m just a few years older than you are Weebly – I have a milestone birthday coming in the spring) and start to wrinkle (unlike you, I do have so fine wrinkles around my eyes – blame it on dry skin, many years spent as a sun worshipper, and over 30 years of smoking – and it’s not going to get better. It will get worse and worse and there isn’t a fucking thing that I can do to change that. It’s an utterly hopeless feeling, which I am working on trying to change.

    But when it comes to you Weebly, you could look like the elephant man and I would still see a gorgeous, sexy, funny, kind woman that I am proud to call my friend. :-) xo


      Well hello Mistress! How the fuck are you? I think you look delightful, so there. But I understand what you’re saying, it’s a lifelong battle for me as well, and it fucking sucks. And changing your own mindset takes SO LONG and it requires SO MUCH WORK. It’s not fair. But you’re a sexy piece in my book, no matter what, Mistress.


    Madame Weebles, I blame the parents.


    Reblogged this on Hey Nikki! and commented:
    This is an amazing way to view situations like this!


    That’s the spirit. I don’t know who spread the belief that looks are so important when most of the people believe otherwise. Love this post :)


      Welcome, Swati! I know what you mean, it seems so odd that so many people feel that looks aren’t important, when so many others still feel that looks are the ONLY important thing. There’s a giant disconnect somewhere, not sure how it can be fixed, but I like to think those of us who understand that looks mean nothing will prevail. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!


    Funny but impractical as they are too stupid to understand that they’ve been told off. I think the third rail scenario is still best ;)

    Recently I was driving home singing my heart out to Adele and two young women in another car started to look over and point and laugh. I blew my adoring fans kisses and kept right on belting out my aria. Cuz ya know, screw them.


      Hello Goddess! Yes, I am sure they wouldn’t have bothered to listen, even if I had bothered to try talking to them. And I agree that they wouldn’t have understood that they were being told off. Very impractical.

      But I LOVE LOVE LOVE your response to the chicks who pointed and laughed at you. I fucking love it. I have to remember that and do it myself if the situation arises. BIG PROPS TO YOU, lady.


    I loved the responses you came up with–I wish people would take the opportunity to listen and learn about others, instead of shooting off something so insensitively. It would have been so great to have him actually hear what you had to say.


      Hello fluxforum, thank you so much for visiting and commenting—I share your view that it would be much nicer if we could just listen and learn about each other, and be respectful and kind. Some people learn that lesson early, some learn it late, others never learn. Oh well.


    This is wonderful!
    I’m new to WordPress! Any new comments or pointers would be much appreciated!


    Good thing I checked Freshly Pressed today, Madame, or I might have missed this! Congratulations!

    P.S. I have a feeling those girls will themselves get zinged one day. Justice has a funny way of catching up with people, sooner or later.


    My general canned response to anyone that comments on my appearance is this:
    “I know – it must be like looking in a mirror for you!”

    Weebles you continue to rock the blogging world!


      Your canned response is a classic, Merlin, and one worth trotting out if I should encounter another idiot (which I suspect I will, people being what they are). How the fuck are you, anyway? I hope you’ve been well!


        I’d say just fine – but then I’d be lying. Life sucks. But it is a beautiful life and the sunsets are awesome. So I guess that makes it six of one and a half-dozen of the other :)
        How about you?


    The idiots who say things like these girls did – the best response to them is – nothing. They are looking for a reaction, but they are nothing people, so you give them nothing in return!


      Hey Margie, how’ve you been? I did nothing right when the girl spoke to me—I did my best to appear unphased and unimpressed, and I hope it pissed them off. Because you’re right, they want a reaction and if they don’t get one, it ruins all the fun for them!

    lifeinthemumlane January 19, 2014 at 4:13 am

    I had a similar thing happen to me except I was in the school yard and the bully was a 6 year old boy who stood with his mother, who incidentally said nothing about it to me or her son. Anyway in the middle of the school yard he shouts out, whilst pointing to my face “nice mask”! He continued this pointing and shouting for a couple of minutes adding in a “no seriously, really nice mask, where did you get it”. For the record I am neither attractive or non attractive and I wasn’t wearing a mask. Like you I was dazed by his comments and said nothing and like you I could feel the tears building. I regret not saying anything to his mother but didn’t want to draw even more attention to the situation. What one liner would put a nasty 6 year old in his place without causing an argument with the parent?


      Hello there, LifeintheMumLane, and a hearty welcome to you! What I want to know is, what kind of dumbass of a woman allows her son, of any age, to speak to someone like that? You’re right, there is no one-liner you can say to a 6-year-old, and you can’t do anything else without escalating the problem. Unless you addressed her directly with something dripping with sarcasm, such as, “Your son is such a charming little moppet, you must be so proud.” But I would have thought of it a half hour after the fact. At the time, I probably would have been too stunned to say anything and I know the tears would have been weling up for me too. I can feel my cheeks getting red just thinking about what you must have gone through. Someone needs to give that woman a major bitch slap. The son is obviously learning incredibly poor manners and mean-spiritedness from his mother, so I can’t blame him completely, but the two of them have some nasty karma headed their way.


    Quite a zing in reply. Wonder how far they would’ve got by the time you finished :)


    Your blog hits home for me as well. Its weird how some people on first glance can think they know someone or tear them down. Random. Had I had time, I too might have responded with a thoughtful and wise reply. Have a very cool week!


      Why hello, butcheringsaint, and thank you so much for being here. People are silly and stupid sometimes, aren’t they. I don’t think these little snips would have bothered to listen to me if I had come out with this reply, to be honest–they didn’t strike me as particularly insightful or deep, know what I mean? But I don’t really care, I’d rather be me than them. Apologies for the very late reply, I hope you’re having a very cool week yourself!


    Weebles, nicely done! Please bring your funny looking self over to the Cougar Den Like-in on Feb. 14. We want to cuddle up to your character and we want to direct even more folks to your gun-happy kitten!


      Fuck. I missed all the fun. This is what happens when I become super lazy and stop blogging for no reason other than laziness. I wish I had paid attention to all these comments a few months ago, Den Mother, I hope you had a blast!


    I read this the day you published it and it has been making me think – a lot. It boggles my mind that girls would be so mean to a complete stranger, but sadly it doesn’t surprise me. I have spent the last few months listening to someone I once considered a friend repaint me in the image that makes her feel better about herself – I wonder if that is where that “mean girl” thing stems from – a need to feel better than someone. It certainly doesn’t excuse or mitigate it. In the end, what goes around comes around and those girls will be at the mercy of some snarky teenagers one day. I loved this post and am glad to see that the WP gods have rightly recognized it! Congrats!


      I’m really sorry to hear that a “friend” saw fit to do something like that to you, Artsi. That’s awful. I suppose it happens when people feel the need to tear people down to feel superior, or when people think that knocking people down is a sign of strength, but in either case, it’s bullshit and it’s wrong. Payback will be a shame for the girls I encountered, and for your former friend as well. And thanks for the kind words!


    Perhaps another snappy comeback to the girl would have been “I’m gonna go write a blog post about your shitty little slight, and I’ll get Freshly Pressed and like, 300 comments! Don’t know what that means, honey? You probably never will.”


    I, also, have thought much about your wonderful post – open, honest, funny, sad, and well-written, of course. I must admit, the first thought I had when I began to read it was, ‘god, those teenagers are a mess – what the hell is going on in their lives to need to be cruel?’ Because, really, what IS going on in the lives of those who are consciously cruel and nasty to those around them? They must be feeling cruel and nasty inside, and what a sad, sad thing.
    Then I let them go (with a wish and a prayer for better things in their future) and enjoyed feeling your space of insecurity and then strength in realizing the WHO of you. No matter how good we look on the outside, our insides still doubt ourselves, What these girls did for you was help you through that doubt, and made you stronger. Yay for you. And for those of us who read your blog, thank you, for helping us look inside, too, and finding our own strength. xo


      You’re a kind soul, roughwighting, letting them go with a wish and a prayer. I hope those girls appreciate that. Being teenage girls, they probably do feel cruel and nasty, and ugly on the inside. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that what other people say about us isn’t actually true. I’m learning that lesson but it’s taken a long time, so if this post can help others, then it’s all good.


    How did I miss this one?? Another brilliant piece of writing and I’m happy it was recognized! Well done.


    Nice, don’t you hate when you get caught off guard. Next time say, Ad hominem, leave them speechless, they will think you cursed in a foreign language. Or, this is how you will look when your older. That will really make them think. Love the story.


    Chin up Weebles, I bet you’re not funny looking at all. Most people are dicks at 15 anyway. I reckon she’ll probably cringe with embarrassment thinking about what she said when she’s 30. Did you have a lesprit de lescalier moment afterwards? If so what would you have said?
    PS. that scene in Goodfellas still makes me squirm even after the 100th viewing.


      I know, I still get uncomfortable during that Goodfellas scene too, even though I *know* Joe Pesci is just messing with him. I agree that most teenagers are dicks–I think humans are genetically programmed to be assholes at that age. I didn’t really have a l’esprit de l’escalier experience, because the only thing I could have thought of to say was “Fuck you.” It’s not really a clever comeback.


    I LOVE IT!
    I have an over activie imagination so this played out beautifully for me, very empowering and I love when you say “I have a big heart, and I’m caring and kind. So kind, in fact, that I’ve decided not to shove you onto the tracks”. If this ever happens to me, I promise to say that!


    Ahhh Wheebles I do believe you’re lovely in both the day and the light. By the sound of your voice which I cannot hear I do declare. You are beautiful Mrs. Wheebles


    Love this…I like to make shadow boxes and home decor with toys. Last year I made a ‘weeblabra’ for Christmas.


    I desire more Weebles. I hope there will be some soon. Cheers.


    Wow…just wow. So grateful that Smithson’s link guided me to this amazing post. The restraint you showed is admirable. Then again, maybe it’s less about restraint and more about the retreat that this type of painful comment forces us into. Like you, I would have been caught completely off-guard, felt the burning heat of shame and hurt. All witty (or snarky) comebacks would have flown out of my head. I love the comeback you crafted here. It was just beautiful.


    They went easy on you. Usually I get “Ewww, you’re hideous!” and then have to stand back as they projectile vomit. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve stopped wearing suede shoes.


    Grats on your selection as a BlogHer Voice of the Year!


      You know, cynking, if it hadn’t been for your comment here, I wouldn’t even have known about it, so thank you very much! And congratulations to you too!!


        I wondered if you would get notified. I nominated your piece but didn’t receive any notification of your selection until I saw you on the list. I would have made sure to forward it your way!
        Great piece that deserved to be chosen!


    Hahahah I love this. Now, if we could just figure out how to go back in time… Either way, kids like those are so insecure. It’s their problem, not yours. And, as a 32 year old–albeit immature– lesbian, I think women over 40 with nice wracks and a great sense of humor are really sexy. So, fuck them…and good for you for putting this all into perspective:)


    I believe Katherine Hepburn once said that old age did not automatically make a person wise and that bores were bores no matter how old. I guess the same can be said about idiots. Those girls can count on always being the same dopes they are now only more so.


    When they said ‘funny looking’ – did they mean ‘funny haha’ or ‘funny peculiar’, perhaps they could just tell how amusing you are by the cut of your gib? Or, if they did mean ‘funny peculiar’, then revenge is a dish best served cold, and I shall put the curse of Kathleen on them…..


    Reblogged this on whimsicalwanderingsofluvroses99 and commented:
    when I started to read this,I was ticked off at those little brats, but then I like to think about “karma”. There are so many disrespectful people out there, most of them are ignorant, but I truly believe that they are so unhappy in their lives they have to take it out on others. I would venture to say that if they weren’t in their”pack”, they wouldn’t say anything. They can’t think or act on their own.They are cowards and don’t have a clue. I love your outlook. Can’t wait to read more of your blogs.


    Reblogged this on Bleed'n~Writer and commented:
    Haha, she’s a comedian. Great post!


    I love your sense of humour! Great post!


    I wrote a post on my blog titled She was Beautiful, at the end I asked people to comment on who they know who is truly beautiful….You are truly beautiful :)


    Ah, sending their charred remains flying across the tracks. What a healing image. Your self control is truly admirable.


    This world needs mothers like you to raise up kids like yourself. Brilliant post


    Congratulations on being one of the “Voices of the year”. I hope you don’t mind if I follow your blog, I love to read in the morning. A cup of coffee and a good story goes hand in hand :-)


    Reblogged this on POLLY MARTHA.


    Adolescents are assholes & need to be told something. Its sad that they have no respect or know how to properly filter their emotions.


    I loved your post! The beginning, how it was rather a mild and timid voice and then out of nowhere the aggressive rant!

    tinaslingerie May 16, 2014 at 10:09 am

    People can be mean but its how we handle ourselves after their meanie comments that matters. So let them be. YOLO!!! we are all beautiful in our own small way so they might as well go hang


    Reblogged this on chrissijhonaker and commented:
    Reading this blog i thought a lot about myself and how lf conscience i’ve always been. Madame weWeeble has inspired me to not care about what people think. I could look a hell of a lot worse. I could be three hundred pounds and unable to ever move off my couch. I could have a terrible flaw on my face. But I’m pretty normal looking. And i am pretty grateful for that. There’s a lot of people in this world that just dont give any cares to anyone. People are rude and selfish. People hurt you and mess up your mind to make you feel inferior. There’s no point to worrying about what you look likeb ecause whether you think you lookamazing or you think you look hideous isn’t going to really matter. I can’t say that i dont judge people. Of course i have. Everyone has. But i would never deliberately say something about anyones appearence just to make them feel terrible. I like this post because it reminds me of all the good features of myself and it inspires me and boosts my confidence. :)


    Very well said!! Kids these days and we thought they were cruel when were kids..wow


    I would have used a swift kick in the ass as a retort…… less energy, less stress, more satisfaction.


    Reblogged this on Spiriting of Mundaykye and commented:
    We’ve all had some weird comment thrown at us unexpectedly. And no amount of telling yourself it doesn’t mean anything removes how that comment effects your day


    When people say your funny looking, they don’t mean it literally. My son explained it to me (he is an 9th grader) They do it to see peoples clueless reaction.


    I have lost count of the times when the occupants of fast-passing cars have screamed out that I’m a pig, ugly, or something like that. And I know I’m not morbidly obese, or ugly, or any of those things… I don’t get it. Why do they do that? It seems to be the same childish impulse that compulsed your verbal attackers… They all seem to be adolescents that do this… What about adolescents turns so many into bullies, do you think? It can’t make them feel better about themselves, I’m certain of that… Maybe they’re projecting their own low self-esteem onto others? Congrats on keeping your cool and making peace with yourself!


    Well said!! It is truly ashame these girls are the countries future. This is what our future is filled with, ignorant close minded people. Sometimes not saying anything (even tho you were just in shock) is the best thing. I love how you quoted Joe pesces line from good fellas lmao! I’m sure that girl would have simply peed her pants if that was quoted to her. But you handled it well. Love your blog!


    What an utterly fabulous read! Madame, I think you just became my new hero! x


    Not really my website. Made that one up. My real website went down in flames or up into the cloud or both when my neighbor Fred, genius computer guy who built it for me died recently and took the IP info with him to that heavenly beach in Fiji where I’m sure he is kickin back his heels & reading Mitch Albom & wondering what happens next. I do miss my website but I miss Fred more …

    Hey, your blog is very good! I’m going back to reading it now.


    what is essential is invisible to the eye…..

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. Be Careful What You Say To Strangers | FiftyFourandAHalf - January 8, 2014

    […] Madam Weebles wrote about three rude teenagers who insulted her, I was incensed.  I wanted to verbally castrate them, but then they have no […]

  2. Zero to Hero Day 8: Make Your “About” Page Irresistible | The Dragon's Lair - January 9, 2014

    […] by Fear No Weebles, written by the talented and probably-not-as-nice-as-she-seems, Madame Weebles, whose latest post gives matter of fact evidence why, when it comes to the insults of fifteen year old girls, Weebles […]

  3. Please pardon our appearance, we’re remodeling « Fear No Weebles - January 22, 2014

    […] a happy and hearty WELCOME AND FELICITATIONS to all of you who found me through my post on Freshly Pressed!  Thank you very much for stopping by and commenting, and following. I’m sorry I […]

  4. Smithson vs Curious – The Ones That Got Away | The Office Inbetweener - February 25, 2014

    […] I’d have picked her piece, Should you Follow Your Dream, which is second only to Weebles’ What you don’t see, as the best thing I’ve ‘read’ so far this year. You don’t want to know what the best thing […]

  5. Congrats to the Bloggers Named Voices of the Year! — Blog — WordPress.com - May 13, 2014

    […] Fear No Weebles, “What You Don’t See.” […]


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